The Angst And The Analyst
by Sabella
Summary: Follow Dr. MorningGlory Gaeston as she unravels the mysteries surrounding Anomen's true parentage, his rise, his fall, and his gripping tale of what led him to murder - in his own words. Now complete.
1. Default Chapter

**The Angst And The Analyst**

From the Journals and Papers of Dr. MorningGlory Gaeston

(Rated PG-13: Adult themes, mild language, mild violence,)

Chapter I

I awoke to the sound of kettles clanking down the kitchen of the Copper Coronet. It was becoming more difficult to roll out of bed everyday. Hendak was still having recurring nightmares involving all sorts of wild beasts – both human and otherwise. I was trying to help as much as I could but we had reached an impasse in his reconstructive therapy and I was desperately hoping for a breakthrough before resorting to more physical -and unprofessional- methods. I was seriously considering moving from our bed at the Copper Coronet and simply sacking out a couple of nights in my office in the Promenade. Even with the circus still in residence down the walkway, I was sure it would be more peaceful. But it would be without him and I couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt at the thought. He was not only my lover and best friend – he was still my professional charge as well. I had already broken one of the tenets of my training when I fell in love with a patient -him. Not a very wise thing to do as I was told at the hearing called by the Professional Board of Governors and ordered before the Ethical Tribunal. Ouch. A severe reprimand and 100 hours of donated community service to Lathander's church. But I still had my license and Hendak had been worth it.

Oh well, maybe tonight he would sleep well. I could always stop by the potion store and ask Marissa or Clemson to prepare a soothing sleep potion. But, that, too, would be unethical if I attempted to secret it into his choclatl latte before bed. And, I could always try what my own Professional Mentor had suggested – just simply wear him out before sleep. I had to suppress a chuckle at that one when first suggested. At the time, I didn't feel the need to explain Hendak's physical stamina and that such a tact would more likely put ME in bed recuperating for a couple of days. Being an enslaved gladiator for so many years had provided him with a rare talent of complete, overall control of his physical person. At least that is the reason he gave. Nevertheless, in terms of his libido, his endurance bordered on the mythical, and he had severely tested my own staying-power on more than one occasion.

I had my own theories, but they involved his heredity. With his pale gray eyes and near-white, wispy blond hair, it was obvious he wasn't from any of the known ethnic human groupings in Amn, Kara-Tur, Zakhara or even north in the Cloud Peak Mountains. His fellow humanoid slaves had matured and grown older, but according to them, he had not changed at all in the years they were confined together. He didn't know his age, but, uncannily, still remembered some of his native language and retained his strange accent. No one could identify his native tongue. He also still wore a very unusual, simple amulet that he never removed. He explained it could _never_ be removed - even if he, or someone else, wanted to. He couldn't remember ever being without it. Hendak was, in short, one of a kind by Faerun standards.

My thoughts raced forward into the day. The sun had been up for a couple of hours and here I stood brushing the dust from the shingle above my office door in the Promenade. Dust still accumulated during the evening hours along the Plaza. No one had seen fit to have the far end of the Promenade cleared of the debris from the unfortunate incident that had occurred nearly three years ago. Many local merchants bitterly complained and were told that the bureaucrats were still reviewing contract bids over at the Government Offices and that the award of such contract would be forthcoming - soon. There was definite rankling of the citizenry over the issue and it was said by more than one that it would be repaired in a Waterdeep minute if any one of the Council of Six was inconvenienced. It was apparent nothing was going to happen any too soon.

I was just happy to have my office here in the heart of things. Location, location, location. And, had it not been for Hendak and his prescient instinct, my office, and I, would not be here.

I met Cernd at the Coronet at Hendak's introduction. As Hendak put it "…..I will never make a copper off of him drinking only chowderberry juice, but he is most pleasant to have around and I trust him….." Cernd and I talked many times and my admiration for this tall, dark, brooding human grew. He was first, and foremost, a gentleman – I was sure a noble of some prominent House though I did not ask and he did not offer. (The likes of which the Copper Coronet could use more of, I reminded Hendak.) But he was imbued with a dignity only great wisdom bestows. A Druid by choice, he was always silently pining for his Grove when he wasn't within its confines. But it seemed he was always being called to the City to take care of this problem or that situation with his property here. He disliked these visits intensely, although he never complained, and I believe as time went on, he looked forward to sharing the evening meal with us as became our custom.

It was during one of his visits to the Coronet that we discovered a mutually beneficial solution to his problem. He would allow me to use his space on the Promenade for my professional office, and in return I would make sure it was physically cared for as well as handling any governmental issues – codes, taxes, etc. Cernd had been ecstatic at Hendak's suggestion. Well, as ecstatic as Cernd could get, I might say.

As he turned the key over to me and gently kissed my hand, I knew I was embarking on the next plane of my professional life. I looked up to thank him yet again, and barely glimpsed the edge of his long cloak as he whisked out the door into a damp rainy night to return to his beloved Grove. 'Oh, if only I could have that dedication of purpose,' I thought wistfully.

The next day I employed two off-duty Athkatla guards to help me clean out the modest set of rooms. Cernd had told me to take whatever I did not want or need and give it to the Church. However, tucked away in the bottom drawer of an old worn chest was the most beautiful music box I had ever seen. It both awed and puzzled me. Ornately carved with gold, mithril and kings' tear inlays, it was splendidly regal. Exquisite runes were carved into exotic wood inlays surrounding the lid. It was mystical and mysterious. It neither belonged in the Church's coffers or here in this modest setting. I decided to lock it away and at the chance of Cernd's visit to the City, or our visit to his Grove, return it to him. I was sure he had simply forgotten it. It would be only later I would discover the true mystery of the music box, what it could do. And, quite astonishing so, I might add.

I kept what furniture I could use to make something of a professional environment all the while dreaming of someday having all tapon wood furniture with its soothing vanilla nut smell. Cernd had explained to me that when a tapon tree was felled, it didn't cease living. A resident group of the smallest of organisms sprang into action and continued to feed the tree and feed from the tree. It was nature's symbiotic way of balance but on a more practical level also why the wood was so aromatically pleasing.

Yes, that was two years ago. My, how time does fly by……

I took one more swipe at my "shingle" with my scarf and reminded myself it would be dusty again tomorrow. "MorningGlory Gaeston, HMD, EMD, RRD." Hendak had joked when he made the simple but elegant sign for me. According to him, if I became certified to treat any species other than humans and elves, he would have to make the print so small as to require a special viewing glass, or I would have to get a bigger office. The other alternative was if I married him. Then, he argued, I could simply drop the "Gaeston," seeing as how he didn't even have a second name and I wouldn't have to have one either. Even his Government Card simply said "Hendak" as there was obviously no other entity in the city such as him. I remembered thinking, 'Yes, Hendak, people have married for far less valid reasons in this city….' though I never voiced it.

Dust abated, I unlocked my door and entered through the darkened portico. The room automatically illuminated by virtue of the Terton Valley ferns sensing my body heat. As Cernd had explained to me before his hasty departure, an import from his beautiful Grove south of Amn. Delicate and lacy with crystal-like tips that produced natural radiant light at the sheer presence of movement and radiant body heat. All I had to do was give them a pinch of magnesumm with their daily water. They also kept the winged bug population at a minimum with their lightly fragrant lemon-colored blossoms. Although I never witnessed any ingestations, I was told it happened constantly. My curiosity was not so peaked to investigate.

I draped my cloak on the hook inside the door and moved over to the outer room's desk. I couldn't afford a full-time assistant, but one of the former slaves at the Coronet was willing to step in two days a week in exchange for sponsorship at the Academy. It was mutually beneficial as the girl who was once a child-slave slated for warm-up fodder in the animal pit was now on her way to becoming a self-possessed young woman, totally in command of her own future. Watching her growth over the past year was satisfying and enlightening. Charona would be in today cleaning up from yesterday and scheduling appointments, doing paperwork, etc., to cover the upcoming days. Between the various Church's insurance programs being so different in what was covered, what wasn't, and the Government's payment schedule, the paperwork alone was an incredible quagmire I never relished. I was thankful for Charona's patience and intelligence in handling it all for me. I picked up the appointment list she had prepared for me.

Heavy day. By the Gods, I needed a good night's sleep! Maybe I could convince myself before day's end that slipping Hendak a mild sleeping potion was only "bending" a part of my Practitioners Oath – not "breaking" it. I entered my office and was greeted by Ki.

Ki was my wonderful Kirani bird. Not just an ornament, Ki was a gift from my Father upon my graduation from the Academy. Kirani birds were raised by a secular group of Monks on the Isle of Kiran, not far from the old Spellhold. In their quest to offer something of value to the world, they had sought to lighten the Scribe's duties with this wonderful bird and, for the most part, accomplished this. The birds were bred for the purpose of total memory retention and recitation of all vocal sounds made during any event witnessed. The Monks had wisely inbred exquisite eyesight so that nuance and body language could be recorded as well. The Kirani's vocal cords could amazingly duplicate any language, any tone, of any species. It was also rumored that the birds could enchant their Masters to have perfect recollection of an event. Ki had yet to show that particular talent but he was a master at seeing muscles clinch, faint beads of sweat, subtle changes in breathing, and any other minute physical reactions. He saw it all; he recorded it all.

"Good Morning…Glory," said Ki.

"Birds don't make jokes," I said. "Not even bad ones… How are you Ki?"

"Ooh..," said Ki tenderly, "Another near-sleepless night, Mistress?"

"Does it show?"

"Yes, Mistress, but only to me, I am sure. I shall be extra attentive today during sessions that you may relax a bit until we can transcribe later." I had never thought a bird could be thoughtful, but right now and with his buttery voice Ki was being thoughtful, soothing, and near sleep inducing.

"Thank you, Ki, but you are always extra attentive to our sessions and for that, my dear feathered friend, I am most grateful." Ki shifted his talons on his open perch and cooed a beautiful symphonic melody in multi-part harmony. "You must explain to me, someday, how you can do that, Ki."

"Mistress—"

"Not right now, however, Ki. We have a very busy day ahead."

I heard the outer door open and heard Charona's footfall.

"Good morning, Mistress," she called cheerfully. "I have a cup of latte for you – compliments of your wonderful Hendak, and a special treat for Ki."

Charona walked into the inner office and set the huge stein of wafting steam on my desk. It did smell good. The morning was crisp and I had not time for a sip of anything before leaving home. Hendak, of course, knew that. He was always thinking of me it seemed…

Charona stepped over to Ki and offered him a special rice cake, complete with cloudberry jam on top. "I hope that is just a touch of jam for him, Charona. You know sweets make him hyper. You'll be cleaning up feathers before the day's through if we're not careful!" Ki had a bad reaction to sugar once before and had lost many feathers. He had looked quite pathetic sitting fairly naked on his perch. He had cried appropriately enough in an operatic baritone. "Oh, Mistress, my beautiful coat of green and azure blue – what have I done!" They grew back, of course, but this time there were lavender touches and purple tips on some of the longer, graceful tail feathers. He was truly magnificent and more beautiful than before.

I again turned my attention to the day's schedule. Yes, three regular patients and one new patient. Yes, very interesting, indeed. The new patient….

"Charona, did we receive any additional information from the Church of Helm on Anomen Delryn?"

"No, madam, but it is expected shortly. They promised me it would be delivered by church messenger prior to your appointment this morning."

He was not expected until mid-morning; still I needed the additional profiling. I would need even extra time to sift through the Church's theological yada-yada to glean the actual circumstances. Their theological assertions aside, this seemed quite serious. Maybe I could help him – maybe I couldn't. But if the Church of Helm was referring him, it was indeed serious by anyone's standards.

The morning was progressing nicely. One patient down, one to go, then Delryn. Lady Margaret was doing much better communicating with her son and daughter. Yes, I would have to note that she was far more relaxed than our last session. Ki would be able to determine if it was potion-induced. There were still many places on the streets where flasks changed hands in shadows for a few gold coins. You could secure almost anything these days – for the right price.

Charona stuck her head through the doorway. "Madam, Lord Leslie sent word he is indisposed and would like to reschedule for later in the week."

"Yes, Charona, that is fine, but tell him I am charging him triple for missing his appointment." Yes, Lord Leslie needed that extra push -and if it came from his purse in order to get him out of his house and into public, then so be it. He would show up later in the week feeling several coins lighter but mentally much better. Actually, I was thankful for the extra time to review the information just delivered by one of Helm's finest.

The messenger had delivered two large pouches bearing the Church of Helm insignia and a smaller pouch with the Order of the Radiant Heart emblem gold stamped on the flap. All had been magically sealed to insure confidentiality against prying eyes. I retrieved my wardstone and waved across the flaps. The pouches opened to reveal several small, neatly packed parchment scrolls. There was a great amount of information to be absorbed in a short time.

"Ki, how much time until Delryn?" Ki was also a wonderful timekeeper.

"87 minutes, Mistress, until the appointed hour," he replied in his best Lord Phade voice. Lord Phade was a classical actor currently performing to sold-out audiences in the restored theater in the Bridge District. He was also a patient. Issues of identity would best describe him. Ki had been fascinated with the beauty of his hypnotic voice, and sensing the effect on me, emulated it whenever he could.

"Thank you, Ki…or, should I say 'Lord Phade'?" I smiled not necessarily wanting Ki to see me.

"You are most welcome, Mistress," he replied, continuing the vocal ruse.

I thought it best to start at the beginning. Yes, even birth records were included. Born Anomen Delryn, son to Lady Moriala and Lord Cor Delryn. Three birthings to couple: firstborn, male, stillborn; Anomen, second-born, two years later; then, Moira, a daughter born 5 years after that. Yes, a tiny glowing footprint still remained on Anomen's birthing document and the wizard who had magically imprinted the Birthing Record appeared below in his own mark of attestation. I instinctively ran my fingers lightly against the impression of the tiny foot. The sensation was that of actually touching Anomen's tiny foot at the time of his birth. Soft and warm the physical feelings tugged at my maternal longings. Yes, someday and maybe not too far in the distant future I would have my own son or daughter's footprint indelibly imprinted upon a birthing record. My father would do it, he was a Wizard of Record and he would be most proud.

Anomen - entered into Private Academy of Helm at age of 10. The notations of the registrar's office indicated his Mother had initiated the enrollment. That's odd, I thought. To be so young and brought to the Clerics Academy by his Mother - and without his Father's consent, as the registrar had specifically notated -seemed most unusual. There were no entries that would indicate he was a discipline problem, either. If anything at all, he was of studious behavior and never required more than a minor scolding from time to time. And, from the Church's records, the family was not even enrolled as followers of Helm - although at his Mother's untimely death, when Anomen was but 13, the Church and a host of Helm Clerics officiated with great ceremony.

I pushed on through the parchments. Distinguished academics, especially in literature, poetry and the other artful classics. Minimal musical ability, however. There was one notation from one Priest that caught my eye regarding his classes in public speaking. The Priest had tactfully written "…. that with the quality of young Anomen's voice, he might be better suited adding his mere physical presence to the dais as the Cause would be better-served if he kept his silence…." I had to remind myself I was reading notations about a 12-year-old boy and this seemed a bit harsh for that age.

I quickly scanned the other school records. He had a natural talent for weaponry and strategic defense. Blessed with agility and speed, his instructors noted he was an intelligent fighter with an excellent sense of anticipation of his adversary's next move. 'Good talents to have, my friend,' I thought. 'Especially in this day and age.'

I found that at age 17, he had distinguished himself as one of the youngest ordained clerics in the service of Helm. The balance of the Helm profile information in the pack merely identified different military assignments in Faerun and a few distinguishing heroics. But Helm expected heroics as a natural course of duty, so recognition was not always forthcoming. 'Maybe this small boy would have faired better at the Clerics Academy of the Morninglord,' I thought to myself. But, I was offering opinion, not insight, and reminded myself that was a no-no.

I opened the pouch from the Order. More small, tightly wound scrolls. When in the service of Helm, he had caught the eye of one of the ranking Knights of the Order who subsequently offered sponsorship to Anomen for admittance to the Order as a Squire. Yes, here it was, the formal Invitation tendered by the sponsoring Knight. Then the formal Letter of Acceptance from Delryn. It was the first step on the long path to Knighthood. He was one of the youngest ever to be included in the Order's Roster of Squires. According to his service scrolls he then continued to distinguish himself with exemplary service – even saving two Knights' lives at his own peril. He was awarded the Order's highest honor for a Squire for this. It was, overall, a pristine record of outstanding achievement.

Then came the most current records. Progress reports outlining the completion of the requirements for Knighthood with no less than perfect marks, the personal recommendations of no less than three of the Order's most revered Knights. Then a formal copy of the Order's gilt-edged Test of Passage.

The Judgment had come in the great Hall with the Prelate presiding. But wait – REJECTED? The Judgment had been rendered and signed. I double-checked the name. Yes, it was Anomen Delryn and yes, the gold-edged singular piece of parchment rolled around small tapon wood spools bore the bright red ink of rejection. And last, but not least, a Notification of Expulsion signed by the Prelate as well as the three Knights who had only weeks before signed Anomen's letters of recommendation. Oh the Gods! What had happened? These official documents did not intimate any details. It was in the addendum folder containing the written Decision and Judgment Decree by the Prelate himself that I found the disturbing details of Anomen's outright expulsion. The catastrophic events leading to their decision were outlined in cold and factual order within the Decree. I read in near disbelief.

I slowly put the folder down. This did not follow logic. This behavior did not make sense. I turned to stare out the window my mind racing – what did I miss?

Carefully I retraced my mental steps and reviewed my cursory notes. What was missing in all this information? Here was a young man of most noble birth, yet all his formal transcripts showed no family interjection/influence whatsoever. Save for his Mother's "dropping him off" at the Church of Helm in the beginning, there was nothing. Yes, young nobles being carted off to private academy was not uncommon, but there were visitations, there were holidays for these boys. Not so with the young Delryn, according to the Academy's records. No visitations recorded and he stayed at the Academy during breaks. He saw his Mother only one more time prior to her death. The records notated she had made a visitation to him three weeks before she succumbed to a "diminished state" as her Statement of Demise had shown. There was no mention if he attended the memorial rites.

I began to replace the scrolls into their respective packs when I suddenly stumbled across the most revealing bit of information of the morning. In the Order's ornate pouch was a single sheet of parchment tucked ever so neatly against the backside. It appeared that someone had perhaps included it in error, as it was not part of the official record in that every other sheet bore the Order's Great Seal and this one did not. It was a hastily hand-scribbled, note-to-file by Sir Ryan Trawl and was dated five years prior to the Order's Judgment.

I was immediately drawn to the name "Lord Cor" in the text. According to the note, Lord Cor burst into the Order during a solemn, formal ceremony while under the influence of heavy drink. He had hurled insults, engaged in other scurrilous behavior, and before the Guards could subdue him, caused quite a commotion including some damage to the Hall. Sir Ryan's account bore no similarities to the stilted style of the Recordkeepers. And, as I read Sir Ryan's telling of the particulars in graphic detail, I found myself shaking my head. My instincts told me I had just seen a perfect portrait of the infamous Lord Cor in all his splendor.

And I don't know why I did it, but I shoved the good Sir Ryan's note into my top drawer. It wasn't like I was attempting to filch an official record, I told myself. This was only a note and I was sure no one at the Order would miss it. By the Gods, it was five years old and I knew I could make better use of it than they could. Yes, I had convinced myself. I resealed the locks with my wardstone and set the pouches aside. I leaned back in my chair.

"We will see…," I told myself aloud.

"We will see what, Mistress?" responded Ki.

"Be very vigilant, Ki, when our next 'guest' arrives. I want particular attention to the eyes. The devout Priests and Clerics of the great god Helm are very disciplined in body and mind, but their eyes tell us what we want and need to know about their spirit. Especially when we eventually speak about the murders." I tapped my writing quill against my desk in silent reflection of what was to come.

"Yes, Mistress. Ki will be ever so vigilant and keep a very detailed record of the eyes of Anomen Delryn. I will record all." Ki breathed a mournful sigh. "17 minutes, Mistress."

Kirani were not prophetic, but I had heard this sigh before and it didn't bode well. He then continued softly with his multi-harmony symphony as I sipped at the cold dregs left in my stein.

TO BE CONTINUED……….


	2. Chapter II

**CHAPTER II**.

From the Journals and Papers of Dr. MorningGlory Gaeston

(Rated:  R-17  Adult themes, mild language, mild violence, brief nudity)

            I arose from my desk as Charona escorted Anomen Delryn into my office.  

He was striking.  Tall by Faerun standards, he carried himself in a manner that suggested both his military discipline and his noble bearing.  Spine perfectly straight, shoulders back, head up. Yes, that military stance would be with him until his dying day.    Yet, he was not heavy-of-foot as most soldiers were.  As he moved across the room, he exhibited fluid, deliberate movement and it struck me he was actually quite graceful and agile.  I mentally recalled his Academy records and his instructors' observations of his marked agility and dexterity when practicing his weaponry techniques.  One had written, "…if there is such a thing as artistry in wielding a mace, young Delryn has achieved it…."   Yes, these were natural talents, not conditioned responses provided by the drill instructors.  But for all this innate grace, he still maintained this rugged aura about him.  This man is an enigma, I thought.  

He was dressed in a deep forest green tunic made of fine-gauge heavy velvet trimmed with delicate gold piping.  The ornate side sash bearing the colors and a hand-sewn crest of the Noble House of Delryn was conspicuously absent.   The ornate, abbreviated coat-of-arms would normally be suspended from his golden corded belt and would communicate to all of Amn his noble heritage and the recognition accorded such.  But his was missing.   

The only physical characteristic that seemed to belie his noble birth was his close-cropped, dark chestnut brown beard.  It covered his strong jaw line and ringed a very sensuous mouth with full lips.  Beards were not currently in favor with the gentry of Amn, and with his dark brown, slightly longer, not-quite-curly-but-more-than-wavy hair, he didn't ascribe to the gentry's current hairstyles either.  For a young man, his forehead was already imprinted with faintly etched lines of worry.   Were these a product of his problems over the past few years, or serious contemplation – or both, I silently asked myself.  His deep blue-green eyes were perfectly shaped, somewhat recessed, and weighted with thick dark brown lashes. 

His body was perfectly muscled and the faint jagged scar lines from long-forgotten battles were sprinkled on his sun-darkened arms and legs.   The true medals garnered in the service of Helm, I thought ironically.  As he neared, my attention was drawn to another light, fine line across his sculpted aristocratic nose, undoubtedly the constant reminder of an enemy blade's near miss of death. 

The man standing before me bore the record of bygone battles with the enemies of Helm -- and the Order -- and others he had met along the road there and back.  He was a walking testament to what was once his unyielding belief in duty and service.  He was no coward and I was duly impressed.

            "Anomen Delryn.  I am Dr. MorningGlory Gaeston and it is a pleasure to be of service to you and the Great Watcher Helm."  I briefly and reverently bowed my head at the mention of the God's name.

            "And, you, dear Madam, are very kind to extend your divinely-guided assistance to this humble servant of Helm."  And with that, he carefully took my hand and briefly brushed it against his lips. The beard brushed as well and, well, actually tickled.  The formal introductions was concluded, tickle and all.

            "Won't you please make yourself comfortable?" I motioned Anomen to the overstuffed chair directly in front of my desk and he sat down.  It wasn't the best chair for sitting upright, back straight, but it wasn't suppose to be.  It was designed to relax the patient.  And, Delryn looked incredibly uncomfortable trying to balance himself between his perfect posture and the sloping back of the chair.  But in this battle, I was confident the chair would win – eventually.

"Would you care for a beverage before we begin?" I offered.

            "No thank you, Madam," he managed a small polite smile.  "It is very kind of you to offer."  He wasn't ready to avail himself of any hospitality, yet, I thought.  He was going to be 'all business' here in the beginning and it was going to take a contrived effort on my part to get him to relax.  After all, he couldn't begin to trust me until he relaxed around me.  And I couldn't begin to help him until he trusted me.

            "Sometimes these sessions can become drawn-out and a little refreshment is a nice respite.  Should you change your mind later, please do let me know.  Charona would be happy to get us something."  I returned his polite smile and waved to Charona.  She briefly nodded in acknowledgement and shut the door behind her.

            "Before we begin," I started, "I would like to introduce you to Ki.  In case you are unfamiliar with Kirani birds, Ki has the ability to--"

            "Madam, I am very familiar with Kirani birds," he interrupted me softly.  Someone else would have thought him rude, but I could see the slight anxiety he displayed.  He was anxious to get the 'incidentals' out of the way.   He then realized his unintentional breach of good manners and lowered his head.  "We, uh.., a few years ago a few of Helm's faithful were called to assist in driving back a band of pirates intent upon relieving the Monks of their precious charges.  It was a…a… successful campaign, albeit short-lived."  He raised his head and glanced quickly around the remainder of my office.  I could see he was 'evaluating' the setting from a strategic point of view.  Another military discipline he would not be able to shed so easily as time went on.  

            "Then you are familiar with our practice of recording sessions?"  

"Yes, Madam," he nodded.

I had to always make that disclosure with a new patient.  To me, it was awkward beginning our first session by telling them that their innermost thoughts, fears, and, hopefully, healing revelations were going to be recorded, totally scrutinized, and finally dissected.  But it was part of the Rules of Ethical Conduct, and I was required to inform them in very plain language so there was no misunderstanding at a future date.  It was so cold and clinical --considering the scope of some of the troubles individuals brought into my office. I felt it didn't exactly inspire an immediate wellspring of trust on the patient's part, either.  

"May I call you Anomen?" I quickly interjected hoping to get us past this hurdle.  "Or, if you prefer—"  

He looked up at me.

            "No, Madam," he interrupted me. "'Anomen' is fine."  His voice trailed off.

            "Very well, and please call me Glory," I paused momentarily and shifted my voice to a softer, less-formal tone.  "Madam is much too formal and I am honestly unaccustomed to being called 'Doctor.'" 

            His first honest smile.  Not a big one, but a start.  I took advantage of that tiny inroad.

            "Why have the elders of the Church of Helm sent you to see me, Anomen?"      "Because, Glor..,Glory…," he stumbled over my name, hesitated briefly and then looked straight at me.  

"I have a black heart….,  I was born with it……, and the High Watchers of Helm refuse to believe it."  He drew out the words and the syllables very clearly and distinctly.  He then looked down at his hands in his lap, his choked whisper barely audible, "They believe I can be redeemed."

            His shockingly dark pronouncement caught me completely off guard.  For the first time in my four years of practice, I was speechless.  I paused, inhaled, then leaned toward him.

"Anomen…..do **_you_** believe you can be redeemed?" I asked softly.

            The saddest blue-green eyes in all of Faerun answered me with not a spoken word.  

No. This fighter, this survivor did not believe himself worthy of _any_ redemption.  In his mind, he was a despicable demon from the underbelly of the Abyss who had come forth and committed the most heinous crimes ever recorded in all of Faerun for all time!  His eyes conveyed it all.  

We had opened our first session.

Our time ran for a full hour over and above the allotted hour originally scheduled.  This was not a problem, as my only other patient of the day, Jakell, a fairly prominent merchant from Trademeet, wasn't scheduled until mid-afternoon.  He was a compulsive thief as well as being a very shrewd businessman.  It was a deadly combination, however, and the Mayor of Trademeet had insisted he obtain professional counseling for the thieving part of his personality, or go to prison for two years – his choice.   As a precaution, I reminded Charona to lock up the Scroll Cabinet and the potion samples.  He was making progress, but an overall change in psyche was still in the far off distance.  He wasn't due for a couple of hours so I had time to ponder some of my immediate impressions derived from the session with Delryn while fresh on my mind.  

I reviewed my quick notes.  It was not necessarily a productive session – most first sessions aren't.   He had stonewalled any further discussion of his 'black heart' and 'status of non-redemption.'  In his mind, these statements were irrefutable facts and there was no need to revisit them.  We talked mostly about his years at the Academy.  I was regaled with stories of his growing up, some of his boyish pranks, life in general with nothing but a host of Clerics intent on molding young minds and bodies into the service of Helm.  Then came the brief litany of conflicts and campaigns fought in the name of Helm – in some cases, complete with hastily sketched battle strategies.  He was very animated in recounting his charges into battle, weapon drawn, and the carnage inflicted on the enemy. The bloody recollections had made me queasy but I listened intently.  Now I know why I'm not a soldier, I had thought to myself.  But whether he was willing to admit it or not, he was a very proud soldier and even now took pride in the re-telling of his personal victories and his contributions of aid to others on the fields of conquest.    

I did not ask him any direct questions about his immediate family and he made no reference to his father, mother, or sister.  He offered no response to any casual reference I made to family in general.  This would all come later, I told myself.  I reminded myself of something my professional mentor had told me when I first graduated Academy.  

"In removing a thorn, one must not directly 'poke' at it thus risking driving it deeper into the flesh – instead, loosen it from the sides in the hope it will become dislodged and _then_ be easily extracted, " he had said.  

'Silly old man,' I thought at the time.  'What does that have to do with me?  What in nine-hells does that have to do with me?!'  Over time I learned exactly what he meant and the wisdom of the thorn was never more applicable than it was now to Delryn's case.  Yes, Anomen's many 'thorns' were imbedded deeply within his heart.  They were slowly poisoning his soul.  It was going to take a great deal of 'loosening' to get them above the surface where he could recognize them and remove them.   One by one, it was going to be excruciatingly painful.  By the Gods, this would be the hardest battle this young man had ever faced!  I said a silent prayer that he would be victorious because anything less would result in self-destruction.

I put down my quill and rubbed my eyes.  For an instant I entertained the idea of a short nap on the lounge across the room against the wall.  I quickly dismissed that when I heard voices in the outer office.  I caught the scent of baron elk stew wafting in the air as I looked up and saw Hendak standing in the doorway with a covered bowl in his hand.  His broad smile instantly warmed my heart. 

"My love..," he began.  "It is not good for you to ignore the noon meal, and so I decided to bring sustenance to you." He walked slowly toward me and lowered his voice, "That is, if you will allow your lover and humble servant to join you in this most ordinary repast."  

Without waiting for an answer, he sat the bowl down and rounded my desk.  I could see a glint of seduction in his cool gray eyes.  We came face to face and his strong arms enfolded me and the sheer power of his nearness radiated a primal energy through me.  I instantly melted into him and he pulled me closer.  Through the thin silk of my dress I could feel his warm hands deftly seeking out and caressing the small sensitive places in my lower back.  I closed my eyes, sublimely content to be momentarily freed from the world and drawn into this man's liberating passion.  I could feel his breathing as his lips brushed my hair and for a moment we stood completely still, completely rapt in our oneness of spirit. He then bent his head and kissed me gently just below my ear. 

"My MorningGlory, my life…, my love……," he whispered.  

Then our lips met.  He was suddenly wanting, needing, and urgent, and his deep lingering kiss left me breathless.  I could say nothing.    

"Ah, my love…,"he breathed in my ear. "If Charona were not here, there would be much more to this repast than just food…  And, I can promise you, it would not be brief or ordinary…. even by Sune's standards," His tongue found my earlobe.  "But this evening, my love, I will make full amends, I do swear by all that is holy."  He kissed me again on the lips.  I wished I could think of a very long errand for Charona.  Evening seemed an eternity away and far too long to wait for this man.  I wanted him now.  He pulled back gently but reluctantly.  

 "I love you, Hendak, with-no-last-name," I smiled, sighed, and resigned myself to wait for evening.   I looked into his eyes.  There were so many things reflected in those beautiful gray eyes.  I could almost see our world together.   Not just of physical want, but of loving, of caring, of sharing our life together.  My musing was interrupted.

"Charona, plates and utensils, please," he called," and if you would please do so, fetch us something cold to drink from the Veils.  And one for you, too."

"Yes, Master," she replied enthusiastically and within a few moments we had plates and she was out the door on her quest for beverages.

"And do not call me Master!" he shouted after her.  

The afternoon went by quickly.  We ate, Hendak returned to the Coronet, and Charona had the pouches returned to the Church and the Order.  Jakell seemed to be making real progress and our session seemed to be more beneficial than usual.  A cursory check of the premises showed nothing amiss.

I was then able to return to my notes on Delryn.  He would be returning in two days for another session and I wanted to prepare while his visit was fresh on my mind.  Ki was busy reproducing the sounds of a lovely piece of music.  I turned in my chair to face him.  He stopped.

"Ki, did Delryn even mention his family once?"

"No, Mistress.  Not once of his own offering and you did not directly inquire."  

 "And what was his overall reaction when I mentioned his family?" I began scribbling.  

"When you mentioned the family as a whole, there was a slight, momentary increase in breathing," said Ki.  Yes, Anomen was discomforted at the mention of his family.

"Was there any precipitous changes recorded from any mention of any particular family member?" I continued.

"Yes, Mistress.  Inaudible sighs at the mention of the Mother and the Sister, respectively, a total void of muscle control in the face, slight change in posture resulting in minute sagging of the shoulders."  Abject sadness? 

"And the Father?"

"Yes Mistress.  A clinching of the jaw – barely discernable through that shaggy hair on his face, I might add.  I also noted a brief dilation of the pupils, an interruption of eye movement, and a subtle constriction of the muscles in the neck.  Breathing controlled but slightly forced, a faint flush of the skin due to elevation in blood pressure."   Accelerated anxiety, intense dislike bordering on possible hatred for the Father?    Many 'thorns,' I thought.

Ki was patiently silent awaiting more inquiries.

"Thank you, Ki, you may continue your melody.  It is quite lovely."

"Thank you, Mistress." And with that he resumed conducting his perfectly tuned orchestra, or in this case, 'one-bird band.'

The evening was everything Hendak had vowed it would be.  We had dinner in our suite specially prepared by Cook.  We drank rare sparkling wine from the vineyards in the Cloud Mountains' foothills, and feasted on choclatl soufflé for dessert.  A harpist and a flutist played continuously in the background.  

It was not terribly late, but the last of the soufflé was gone and Hendak refilled my crystal glass.  He motioned for the musicians to leave and they quietly left the room shutting the door behind.  I was comfortably nestled in the silk cushions around our supper table and the wine dancing in my head was replaying the beautiful music of a few moments earlier. We were at last alone together. 

Hendak moved next to me and pulled me up to sit beside him and cradled me in his arms.  The closeness and the quiet were surreal.  He tipped my chin to see my face and gently brushed a wisp of hair from my cheek.

"My love," he began. "I want us to forever be as one.  I want to pledge my devotion and love to you and I pray you to pledge your love and devotion to me.  I want you to be the Mother of our children," he paused.  "MorningGlory, I want you to be my wife, and I will be your husband and your most devoted and humble servant."  He paused again.  "Will you marry me?" 

I looked up into the most beautiful eyes in Faerun.

"Yes, Hendak, I will be most proud to be your wife, to love you, to be devoted to you, and bear our children," I answered without hesitation.  

He pulled a small box from his tunic and opened it.  Inside was the most opulent ring I had ever seen.  It was ornately carved gold.  Six small pearls were set upon the face of it surrounding a bright, perfectly white diamond.   It was breathtaking.  

"Will you accept this ring as a token of my pledge of eternal love that we will be together for all of time?" he asked.

"It's beautiful, Hendak, and yes, I will accept your ring and your pledge."  

He took the ring and slipped it on my finger.  It was a perfect fit.  But as I stared down at it on my finger, I thought I saw a brief, iridescent glow radiating from it.  I blinked.  No, no glow, just too much sparkling wine.  

"Hendak, wherever did you find such a magnificent ring?" I asked.  

"I think it may have been my Mother's.  I have always had it – like the amulet -- and even when the slavers would take it away from me, I would wake up the next morning and it would be back in my possession.  They sent many women to try to take it from me, too, and it would char their hand to cinder for their thievery."  He picked up my hand and smiled.  " I have always believed it was meant for my love, my wife, and no one else."  He paused.  "And seeing that your hand has not erupted in flames, I see I was right," he laughed.

"Hendak, do you remember your Mother?"

He shook his head.  "Only my father and then very little before he was killed and I was taken by the slavers.  There was no one else – we lived in the deep forest." He seemed suddenly very sad at his memories, or lack thereof.

"I'm sorry, my love.  I did not mean to make you sad on this our day of betrothal," I said and kissed him longingly.  I wanted him to forget the sadness.  I suddenly found all I wanted him to do was to fulfill the balance of his promise earlier in the day.  I was suddenly overwhelmed with the most intense, all-consuming, burning desire for him.  Desire filled with wanting him, needing him -- more than ever before.   There was not a force in all of Faerun to stop me from sating my hunger from this man's passion.  And I wanted him now.

I was too tired not to sleep.  All of Amn could have fallen stone by stone around me and it would not have disturbed me.  But I awoke in the middle of the night from a deep sound sleep to find Hendak sitting upright in bed.  "Lamp on, low," I mumbled to activate the magical lamp stones into service.  A soft, dawn-like light filled the bedchamber.  Hendak was covered in a soft sheen of sweat, his hair lightly matted to his forehead.

"Another bad dream, my love?" I asked softly as I sat up beside him.  He shook his head.

"No, my love," he whispered softly.  "Not a bad dream."  He paused for a long time.  "I dreamed about my Mother."   There was stone silence.   

He said no more but laid down and took me in his arms next to him.  His damp skin smelled strangely like sweet honey flowers.  His heartbeat was steady and strong.  I lay waiting and hoping he might provide more explanation.  He did not.

"Time to sleep, my love," he murmured.  "Lights out."  The stones switched off and within minutes I could hear his steady regular breathing as he drifted into some distant dreamland of peace and calm.  His peace was heavens-sent.  There would be time enough later to talk of his dream.

The next morning whirled past me.  Luckily I had no patients scheduled for the day.  But Charona was in classes all day and wouldn't be in.  Messengers with congratulatory flowers and greetings of best wishes arrived.  Father even dropped in my office to convey his relief that I was finally getting married, but he couldn't keep himself from expressing "concern" about my selection of future spouse.  "But, an _ex-slave_, Glory!" he had said three years ago when I told him I was moving into the Copper Coronet.  The word 'ex-slave' seemed to get caught in his throat.  "And the Copper Coronet – that den of thieves and smugglers!  I'm glad your Mother is not alive to see this…" I remember him saying.  Hendak's acceptance by my Father was, in all probability, going to take a couple of lifetimes.  Any genuine affection would require eternity.

"Now, Father, we have been over this time and time again," I now reminded him again.

"As long as he makes you deliriously happy, my child," he resigned himself with a sigh, kissed me on the cheek, and whisked out of the room through his dimension door.  

  It had calmed down by early afternoon and I began to work with Ki transcribing my Anomen Delryn session. It was necessary to do this today as Delryn would be in tomorrow.  As Ki recalled the session, I took notes, interjected questions and made cross-references.  An interesting profile was emerging. I sat back and looked at my finished outline.  Yes, it was here in black and white and tomorrow we were going to start loosening those poisonous gray thorns from this man's heart.  Helping Anomen Delryn regain his soul was going to be _my_ Quest.  I tucked the notes into his folder and set it to the side of my desk and turned to look out my window.

I had spent all afternoon working on Delryn.  Another hour and dusk would be settling over the Promenade.  It was time to lock away the anguish of tortured souls, and resume my own life with my love and now husband-to-be.  I stared down at my beautiful ring.  I must remember to ask Father to take a closer look at it, I thought in passing.

A small engagement party had been planned at the Coronet and I hoped it did not last until the wee hours.  Most of the invitees wouldn't relish being in the Slums late at night anyway, so I was fairly assured it would be over at a reasonable hour.  

I came into the Coronet and headed up the stairs.  I had sent word earlier for Donia, my chambermaid, to lay out my palest pink silk dress.  Donia was wonderful.  Not only was my dress draped over the bed, but fresh slippers and stockings.  She had thoughtfully laid out my hairbrushes and combs on the dressing table and had pulled the gold and mithril woven threads from the drawer to be included in the re-braiding of my long black hair.  I hastily stripped down and sat down at the dressing table.

"Mistress, are you ready for me to do your hair?" Donia was at the door.  

"Would you, Donia?" I was anxious to get dressed and downstairs to greet arriving guests.  Pink rouge on the cheeks, a splash of darker pink on the lips.  All was done in short order and I was transformed.  "Thank you, Donia." I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek   She looked surprised.

"Yes, uh, Mistress..," she replied as I sped out the door and down the back stairs.  Granted, the Coronet wasn't exactly what I had in mind as a little girl playing princess bride, with the parties, etc.  But my Father would throw a formal engagement party that would be fitting of a Princess.  I would have to admit that a bit of his snobbery ran in my veins as well.  This was just a warm-up, I told myself.   I took a deep breath, composed myself, and walked through the side door.

A sea of faces and spontaneous applause greeted me.   Hendak walked up beside me and slipped his arm around my waist.  Bernard clanged on a pot lid with a wooden spoon to garner quiet that Hendak could be heard.  I was totally awed and overwhelmed.  I was heady and giddy, and I hardly heard a word Hendak said.  I vaguely remember hearing "….the love we share….pledged together for all time…..an unworthy slave such as me……hope for the future….."  I didn't remember him ever being so wordy!

Finally he was finished and a loud roar arose from the crowd.  Whatever he had said, the crowd certainly, and wholeheartedly, supported him.  The music started and the party began.

The guests were jovial and in good spirits and I saw many people I had not seen in many weeks and even months.  

It was my Father who, surprisingly, provided the most interesting moments of the evening.  Midway through the party, Father approached with a very distinguished gentleman whom I did not know.  One thing was certain.  He was a Knight of the Order of the Radiant Heart.  

"MorningGlory, there is someone I wish for you to meet," Father said and turned to his guest.

"Sir Ryan Trawl, I would be most pleased to introduce my daughter, Dr. MorningGlory Gaeston.  As you know, she is now betrothed to an _ex-slave with no known heritage_, and she plans to continue her practice in order to supplement their income from the uh.., uh.., _Copper Coronet._"  His words were slightly slurred from being over served copious amounts of his favorite red wine.  Not content with leaving well enough alone, he always dressed it up with a magical infusion of 'fizz,' which usually ended up with a noxious, and obnoxious, effect.

"FATHER!"  I was in total disbelief of his churlish manners.  I turned to Sir Ryan.  "I hope you will forgive my Father's bad temper which I am sure is brought on by too much wine consumed in such a short period of time.  As a wizard, his consumptive tolerance is quite low, I fear."

Sir Ryan threw back his head and laughed heartily.  

"My Lady, your Father and I go far back together.  I can assure you that no one knows that better than I."  He then took my hand, kissed it very gently and continued, "but his drunken outburst aside, I would be remiss if I did not wish the lovely bride-to-be my sincerest and best wishes."

"Thank you Sir Ryan.  That is so very kind and understanding of you."  I shot Father 'the look.'  It told him we would speak of this later.

"My darling daughter," he interjected sheepishly having some realization of what he had just done, "would you be so kind to entertain Sir Ryan for a moment until I can secure fresh wine for us?  I do believe this glass has no more fizz." 

Without awaiting an answer, he headed in the direction of Bernard.

"Dr. Gaeston—" Sir Ryan began and I interrupted him.

"Sir Ryan, please call me Glory."

"Glory.  Very well, Glory."  He paused.  Again that 'familiarity' thing making someone uncomfortable.  "I was wondering if I could possibly drop by your office in the next day or two that we might have a chat."  He averted my eyes and busied himself watching the other revelers while awaiting my response.

By the Gods!  He knows I have his note about Delryn tucked away in my top desk drawer.  He HAS to know!  Why else would he want to see me?!?  Why did I act so impetuously and keep the damn thing!  It HAD to be that.  That DAMN NOTE…that DAMN NOTE….He knows I took it, he wants it back, -- By the Gods, what was I going to do!!  Anything but panic, I told myself.  I had to tell myself to breath.

"Of course, Sir Ryan," I smiled sweetly.  "Would day after tomorrow be suitable?  Say, mid-morning?  I could be free for the balance of the morning should you need that much time."

"I trust this would not be an inconvenience, and I would certainly compensate you for your time.  You could treat me as you would, say.., any of your other patients?" He looked at me.

"Sir Ryan, it is not an inconvenience for me and I would be happy to assist you in any way possible."  I was confused and it wasn't the wine.  Was he seeking professional counseling or did he want the damn note back?  Damnable note, anyway.  He continued.

"I….I…wish to speak to you regarding a former Squire of the Order.  He..He failed his Test of Passage for Knighthood almost three years ago and was ultimately expelled.  Even though it is a closed matter as far as the Order is officially concerned, I feel there are still many –shall we say—unresolved issues with regard to the young man."

I was dumbfounded.  Totally dumbfounded.  Sir Ryan Trawl wanted to come and see me and talk about Anomen Delryn. But what about?  What was it he knew that wasn't in the official records?  Surely the Order – that pristine group of old, impotent duffers—wasn't concealing anything.  They had never been accused of a cover-up before, much less found guilty of one!  Their reputation was sterling and beyond reproach.

"I am sure you are aware I am unable to discuss any of my patients, either past or present, with you, Sir Ryan."

"Oh, yes, My Lady."  He smiled. "I was not suggesting that your compromise any of your patients' privileges.  I believe in the near sanctity of the doctor/patient privilege, and I trust you would hold me in that same regard should I ever become a 'patient' of yours."

"Of course, Sir Ryan.  Anything you would ever divulge to me in session would always be protected."

"Then day after the 'morrow at mid-morn, shall we say?" he confirmed the appointment.  

I saw my Father jaunting back across the room with two fresh glasses of wine.  

"Sir Ryan, would you be so kind to hold them and keep them from the neer-do-wells lurking about while I dance with my beautiful daughter?" 

"Only if My Lady consents to a turn around the floor with an old man such as myself when you are through, Tabor, old friend."  

"I would be most honored Sir Ryan," I laughed as Father gave him the glasses then led me to the dance floor.  

It was a lovely dance with my Father.  All my life I would remember that dance.  And then, as promised, I danced with Sir Ryan Trawl.

The party ended not early, but not late.  I was very tired and very happy when I nestled into bed and curled up against Hendak.

"Ah, my love, it was a lovely party, wasn't it.  And, you know, I think your Father is starting to warm up to me.  Yes, I think Tabor and I will end up being steadfast friends with a little more time."

"Maybe in a 100 years, or so, if you're lucky," I chuckled halfway under my breath.  

"What did you say, my love?"

"Nothing, Hendak.  Go to sleep.  I love you, my darling."

"Hmmm… Lights out."  And we went to sleep

As the previous night, I awoke from a restful deep sleep only to again find Hendak silently sitting up in bed.  

"Hmmmm…Lights on low," I mumbled.  The lights activated.  I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

Just as before, he was covered in a thin sheen of sweat and his hair lightly matted against his forehead. He again smelled of the sweet honey flowers.  He stared straight ahead.  "Hendak, is everything alright?"

At first he didn't answer.

"Hendak?" I was going to panic if I didn't get an answer and now.

"Yes, my love?" he answered softly still staring straight ahead into the shadows.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes, my love.  I dreamed of my Mother again.  She came to me in my dream, Glory."

"My love, it is not unusual for the dead to appear to us in our dreams.  It is the way our hearts stay in touch with them."

"No, my love," he paused.  "My Mother is not dead."

"But, Hendak, you said you never knew your mother, so how can you be sure it is not your mind trying to share her presence with you at such a happy time in your life?"

"No, Glory.  This is no illusion of my mind." He paused again. "She came to me last night, and she came to me tonight, in my dreams and explained everything."

"Hendak, please think about this for a minute."  I paused briefly to carefully choose my words, "Hendak, just how can she do that without the aid of a Great Wizard's spell or you using a dream potion?"  

His beautiful gray eyes turned to me and he picked up my hands from my lap and kissed them tenderly.

"Because, my beloved MorningGlory, my Mother is a Goddess.  And I am her spawn."  

TO BE CONTINUED………..

  
    


	3. Chapter III

THE ANGST AND THE ANALYST

From the Journals and Papers of Dr. MorningGlory Gaeston

(Rated PG-13: Adult themes, mild language, mild violence, brief nudity)

CHAPTER III.

He was still holding my hands.

Stress-induced psychological trauma brought on by life-changing events? The dry, unemotional rush to provide a rational explanation for this behavior filled my mind instantly. And just as quickly, it scared the nine hells out of me. By the Gods! If this was true, Hendak was delusional! And delusions about 'gods' were the worst. My mind could not process the on-rushing jumble of clinical terminology, case history, and raw human emotion. If I was correct, it could not be worse for this man.

"Hendak…," I started but I didn't know what I was going to say.

"Yes, I know, my love, that you believe I am suffering from - what do you call it? Delusions? But I promise you by all that is holy that what I tell you is true." He smiled at me. "She told me you would have many doubts and not believe me, so she has arranged for a 'sign' from her. Then you will know." He put his arms around me and pulled me down beside him. "But for now, you must not worry. You must sleep as will I." It was only moments before he had once again drifted into that plane of restful slumber.

I arose early and hurried to dress. I looked forward to my workday if for no other reason to temporarily escape these new haunting issues with Hendak. I would have to deal with them, just not right now. I had to mentally process what had happened first.

I got to my office earlier than usual. Sanctuary, I thought as I sat down at my desk after giving Ki his morning ration of grains and seeds. He made no mention of the obvious lack-of-sleep written on my face. I reminded myself that this was my world - where people brought their problems but I left mine at the door. I knew I had to put my concerns and worries aside or I would be of no useful service to anyone. Thank the Gods, Charona would be here today, too. I immediately pulled out Delryn's folder and began to busy myself with review. A few moments passed.

"Mistress MorningGlory Gaeston?"

The young woman at the door was dressed in expensive Cleric robes adorned with heavy gold. She possessed clear blue eyes and I could tell by the radiance of her countenance she was a Seer – one who had a direct connection with her Deity. I had not heard her enter.

"Yes, it is I," I replied. I arose and found myself standing with weakened knees. I instinctively touched the edge of my desk to steady myself. "How may I be of service to you, young Seer, er.." She hadn't told me her name.

"Ah, then I have found you," she smiled. "My name is Marybeth Fatewatch and I bring you greetings from the Mistress of the Church of Waukeen. As you may have gathered, I am a Seer. And although I am residenced in Trademeet, my binding with Waukeen compels me to do my Mistress's bidding throughout Faerun." Her smile broadened. "I understand you were expecting me."

My legs would support me no longer. I sat down. Visions, Goddesses, Seers. This was overwhelming.

"Mistress Glory? Are you alright?" She interrupted her speech. "You look a bit faint. Might I assist with a minor restore spell?" She stepped around to the side of me and gently touched my shoulder. I could feel the warm energy enter my body. Instantly, all anxiety and nervousness was washed away. I felt refreshed. She returned to the other side of the desk.

"Please.., please forgive my poor manners," I stammered. "Please sit down. You must be tired and require sustenance after your long journey. May I offer you something?" I secretly wondered if my attempt at polite conversation was simply to delay what I knew in my heart she was going to tell me. I didn't know if I was going to survive the shock.

"No, thank you, Madam. I require very little sustenance, but it is very kind of you to offer. I am also on a very strict schedule for my Mistress, so I fear my visit will be short." She sat down.

She removed a box from her robe and handed it to me. "From my Goddess," she explained, almost matter-of-factly. The box was a duplicate of the one which held the ring Hendak had given to me, but larger. It was heavy and I was afraid to open it.

"Please do not be fearful of the truth," she again smiled. "It is most liberating."

I slowly removed the lid and gasped. An amulet. Heavy carved gold in the same style as my ring, it held the largest white diamond I had ever seen. It was surrounded with 12 large pearls and on either side of the diamond were two intricately carved runes.

"My Mistress wishes you to accept this small token of her love and acknowledgement in honor of your upcoming wedding to her son, Hendak." She smiled again. "She is very pleased with his selection of you as his wife and bearer of her Grandchildren." She paused briefly to gauge my reaction then continued. "She would like to ask two very special favors of you in return. That your marriage ceremony is performed in her Church north of Athkatla, and that you wait until that time to physically wear the Amulet. Hendak must place it around your neck during the ceremony."

Seer Marybeth was going to have to do a _major_ restore before her departure.

"Forgive me, Seer," I began hesitantly, some sense of rational thought returning to my mind, "but I am very confused. The Goddess Waukeen has not been seen or heard from in many years. I mean no disrespect, but many have speculated she died during the Time of Troubles and presume her dead."

"That is a very popular misconception," Seer Marybeth laughed. "My Mistress has prepared a brief explanation for you that you may better understand both Hendak's lineage and her subsequent unfortunate circumstances. If you will allow me to convey….." The Seer fell into an immediate trance and began her tale. It was her voice, and not her voice I was hearing.

"When Waukeen was exiled during the Time of Troubles, she was forced to assume her mortal form. She found herself banished and alone in the deep Forest of Kemp. She was found by a Ranger, a Beast Master to be exact, whose love of, and duty to, the Forest had resulted in a solitary life over many years. Haan was not the young, dashing man he had once been, but he was not tainted by the corruptness of the world, either. There was a sweet innocence about him, and his loving kindness and simple ways seduced the Goddess. The Forest was his complete world, his first love, and until she arrived, his only love.

"She stayed with him for several months from fall through winter never revealing her true identity. This was not difficult, as Haan's eyesight had begun to fail long before her arrival. He was not blind, but he could only distinguish outlines of shadows and light. Over time his other senses had learned to compensate for the encroaching darkness. He would always touch her face and tell her how beautiful she was because that was what he saw in his heart.

"During that long winter she became his lover but spring arrived and she knew it would soon be time for her to leave. But she knew his heart would break when she departed and it troubled her deeply. What could she, Waukeen, give this simple loving man that he did not already have? He had no need of gold or gems. His Forest was his estate, his small cabin his castle keep, and his immense wealth was all that was contained therein. He was already rich beyond measure. She could give him nothing material in return for his love and devotion. She devoted much thought to this, then decided there were two things that his beloved Forest could not give to him that she could. She could return his vision, that he would always be able to look upon his kingdom; and, a child - a son - that he might always know how much she had grown to love him. The restoration of his eyesight was an easy task, but the child required significant sacrifice and risk of personal peril on her part. But either were still far easier than telling him she must leave him.

"She told him one early evening just after a spring shower as she sat beside him on the cushions by the fireplace. 'My love,' she had whispered,' I must leave you within a few weeks and return to my home. I have duties and obligations awaiting me that I can no longer ignore.'

"He was anguished beyond all measure. She had never spoken of 'home' before and he did not understand. 'But this is your home,' he said feeling his very being torn from him.

"She reached out and calmed him and then continued, 'This is my heart's home, but my home of duty is in another realm. But before I depart, I want to give you a gift.' And with that she had laid her hands upon his eyes. The mists were cleared and the shadows evaporated. He opened his eyes and for the first time, Haan gazed upon the face of this beautiful woman he loved.

"'How did you..?' It took a moment for him to see that this was not just the woman he loved, but an Ethereal Being of great magnitude. And yet with his newfound eyesight, he could bring himself to look upon her face. He hung his head. He thought of the times of their closeness and how he had taken her to him in the middle of the night. He was ashamed. 'I do not know who you are,' he whispered, 'but I know you are not of this world, Mistress, and I am only a simple man and unworthy to look upon your beauty.' He attempted to move away from her. She stopped him.

"'I am the same as when you brought me here, Haan. The only difference is that you can see me now,' she replied softly. 'I returned your sight to you that you would never be separated from your world - not to bring you pain or humiliation in discovering who and what I am. I could never willingly hurt you, my love.' She waited a brief moment before continuing. 'Know that I love you with all of my heart but my duties call me. If I thought you would be happy, I would take you with me. But I cannot be so selfish and take you from your Kingdom knowing you would be so miserable in mine. Your realm, your domain is here.' He knew she spoke the truth, as painful as it was to hear.

'There is one more gift I have for you, Haan,' she said softly lifting his chin that his soft gray eyes would meet her face. She took his hand and placed it gently on her belly. 'We have a child. A boy child. He is growing inside of me now. And, as he grows here I will nurture him in body and mind. He will be born as all mortal children are born and you will help me as he passes from my body and between my legs into this world, your world. I will then stay one day, then I must go. He must not know who, or what, I am until the appointed hour of my choosing when I will return. This is for his and your safety that I ask this, Haan. There are many that would seek to do you and our child great harm and hurt me if they knew.' She continued on. 'He will not grow as a normal human, but will mature into a young man within a forthnight. He will not recognize his accelerated growth as being anything other than normal. But, my love, he will be here with you until your last breath that you may always look at him and know my undying love for you.' There was deep sadness and resignation in her sweet voice.

"It was as she had said. Within scant days she was full with child and Haan marveled at her radiant glow from impending Motherhood. As a Goddess she was breathtakingly beautiful, but as a mother-to-be she was even beyond that.

"She awoke him in the middle of the seventh night. 'It is time,' she whispered as the first twinges were felt.

"She may have been a Goddess, but there was little she could do to lessen the excruciating experience that lay before her. She reminded herself that she was putting herself at peril for Haan's sake and his happiness was far more important than any risk she endured.

"It was not long after that she was bathed in sweat from the rigors of her labor. It soaked the bed linens and smelled of sweet honey flowers. Her cries and screams of the pain were no different than any mortal woman in childbirth, and Haan tried to comfort her as much as he could. He soothed her face with a damp cloth and held her hand when the pains came. He talked to her and told her stories to pass the time. She held his hand and felt comforted knowing he was there. She was living a part of the mortal drama and within her understanding realized this was one of the experiences that bound a mortal man and woman together as a family.

"As the night wore on into early morning, she writhed in pain as her body's muscles contracted and convulsed violently, seeking to send the child to his rightful world. With the passage of time the agony intensified and delirium set in. She began speaking in tongues he had never heard and her eyes of gold dimmed. Haan was very concerned. Goddess or not, she could still die and it frightened him to think of his beautiful Waukeen not being in _any_ world of her choosing. He would have prayed, but he did not know to whom he should direct his supplications.

"The animals of the Forest had quietly gathered at the windows of the cabin in anticipation of the arrival of their Master's son. He had helped many of them with difficult birthings over the years and they were concerned and curious of the goings-on with the labors of the Master's mate.

"At long last she bore down in a great final effort that delivered the child into his father's waiting hands. Haan pulled the tiny human from his mother's body and quickly cut the golden cord that connected them. He was covered in a soft, golden fluid. He raised him up by his feet and helped to clear his airway. There was a tiny cough followed by a tiny cry. As she had said, it was a boy-child - a beautiful boy-child. Haan carefully held him to his breast and was so overwrought with love of their son, his eyes welled up with tears. He sobbed. He had never hoped to dream of such a miracle and yet here it was. Through his watery blur he looked to her and said, 'He is so beautiful, Mistress. Our son is so beautiful.'

"Haan took his new son and gently washed him. He wrapped him in a warm blanket and nestled him in the arms of his Mother. 'What would you like to call him?' she smiled up at him.

"Haan had not thought to think of a name. 'Might I call him 'Hendak?' It was my Father's name,' Haan said knowing his father would have been pleased.

"'Of course,' she replied. She looked down at her baby. 'Young Hendak, it is time for you to take nourishment,' and she proceeded to feed him from her swollen breasts.

"The next day she prepared to leave. 'Haan, remember you must never tell him who I am until the time is right. I will then return and reveal myself to him. All I ask is that you share your love and your beautiful kingdom with him that someday he might be as you are, my love. I could ask no more for our child.'

"'Yes, my love, I promise it will be done as you have requested.'

"She bent over the tiny cradle and brushed his cheek. 'And I have gifts for you, my tiny love.' With that she waved her hand in the air and a small amulet appeared. 'This will protect you as I would, if I could be with you, my darling child. But it will always be with you, just like you will always be with me in my heart.' An iridescent tear rolled down her cheek and fell onto his tiny hand.

"She waved her hand again. A small box appeared. She turned to Haan. 'Haan, give this to him when he has matured and tell him it was 'his mother's'. He will know what to do with it when the time is right.'

"'Yes, my love. Until then we will both await your return to us, if it is even for but a moment in time,' Haan choked back the tears. She kissed his face and held his hands, not knowing it was for the last time. And then she was gone."

The Seer paused momentarily to catch her breath. I sat totally absorbed in the tale she was sharing with me. She then continued.

"This, Madam Glory is something of an abbreviated version of the subsequent events. I share it with you so that you might understand that my Mistress did not seek to intentionally abandon her son or break her word to her beloved Haan.

"In her urgent desire to return to the Outlands, Waukeen devised a very complex plan. Without going into detail, a part of that plan subsequently required her to temporarily relinquish her 'divinity.' Lliira had agreed to the guardianship of the Goddess's power and interests while she traveled from Toril to the Astral Plane, through the Abyss and then home to the Outlands. Prior to traveling through the Abyss, she struck a bargain with the Demon Lord Graz'zt. He had guaranteed safe passage in return for certain information. My Mistress kept her part of the bargain, but the Demon Lord reneged and, instead, held her captive. My Mistress was his prisoner for almost 12 years.

"As she was devoid of her divinity there was little she could do except await rescue. Her delivery from Graz'zt occurred after we of the Church became aware of exactly where she was. We commissioned a very courageous group of adventurers to set her free and safely escort her to the Outlands. It was not quite a year ago that this band of fearless mortals braved the perils of Lord Graz'zt's lower plane and rescued my Mistress.

"It was only after her return to the Outlands that she discovered the fate of her beloved Haan, but she was unable to verify what fate had befallen her son Hendak. In the time of Toril, the slaver's raid had occurred only a few months after her departure from the Forest, so many years had passed and information was almost non-existent. The mere thought of the death of her child made her openly weep and she was quite inconsolable for a time. She then became dedicated to finding him – alive or otherwise. She then quietly commissioned a small number of representatives from her Church in Trademeet to search all of Faerun and locate any information regarding Hendak. It did not take long to ascertain that the leader of the Slave Rebellion in the city of Athkatla was none other than Hendak. My Mistress was overjoyed to find he was not only alive but a fearless hero who now had a full life with a woman he loved, even as his father had loved her." She stopped. I could tell she was finished.

"So, my future Mother-In-Law is a Goddess," I mumbled in shock and shook my head. It was all I could think to say.

"It would appear so, Mistress," laughed Seer Marybeth as she arose from the chair. "Now, if you will forgive me, I have other duties to which I must attend. My Mistress also requested that before I depart, I should bestow a greater restoration upon you. She thought you might need it." She smiled down at me.

"Your Mistress knows me pretty well, doesn't she?" I asked.

"Yes, Madam Glory. Much better than you know." She leaned over and touched my shoulder again.

My heart and my soul were instantly at ease. I did not know if it was the spell or just the knowledge that Hendak was speaking the truth, and he was not ill, and they were not going to take him far away from me, and… All my fears swept from me. When I looked up again, Seer Marybeth was gone. I opened the box again and looked at the beautiful necklace. I was immediately humbled.

Then something rattled from the recesses of my mind. I recalled the small tear-shaped mark on Hendak's left hand. He had said he always had it – his father had told him it was a 'birthmark.' Yes, his mother had left him with a divine birthmark borne of the sorrow of leaving.

"Mistress, I just saw a Seer leave our door." It was a half-question from a very puzzled Charona standing in my doorway.

"Yes, Charona, she was delivering a, er, message," I explained vaguely. I wasn't ready to divulge any of what I had just learned. Charona took the hint and changed the subject, "And it was quite a party last evening. Everyone is talking about it this morning!" Yes, the party last night….

"Before I forget about it, Charona, please slot Sir Ryan Trawl for mid-morning tomorrow. If we have a conflict, re-schedule whoever is currently slated and keep the balance of the morning and early afternoon clear. Actually, keep the entire afternoon open, and if you would not mind, send a messenger to my dressmaker to come by early afternoon. I think it is time I started to think about a proper wedding dress."

"Oh, yes, Mistress!" She clapped her hands and laughed.

"Ki, how long until Delryn."

"78 minutes, Mistress," Ki replied. Plenty of time to pick up where I left off.

TO BE CONTINUED…………………..


	4. Chapter IV

THE ANGST AND THE ANALYST

From the Journals and Papers of Dr. MorningGlory Gaeston

(Rated PG-13: Adult themes, mild language, mild violence, brief nudity)

CHAPTER IV.

Anomen Delryn walked into my office for the second time of the week. He was much more relaxed and greeted me with a smile.

"I understand that best wishes are in order, Madam, on your upcoming marriage," he said. There was a sense of joy in his voice and he bent to kiss my hand in greeting. "Hendak is, indeed, a lucky man." Delryn was a charming man, but his flattery lacked a certain sense of timing to be taken too seriously.

"Thank you, Anomen. That is very sweet of you." I smiled and motioned him to sit down. Yes, the chair was winning, just as I predicted. He sat back and almost relaxed.

"Yes, I have known Hendak since we first assisted him in freeing the slaves here in Athkatla. That was almost three years ago. He has been our friend since."

"'Our' friend, Anomen?"

"Yes, 'our little band,' if you will. At least it was a little group then. There were six of us, headed up by Riona." He smiled at saying her name.

This was starting better than I could have ever expected – he was openly talking about events around the time when his "problems" began. I had to keep him going. I had to keep him talking about what was going on then.

"Riona…, hmmm, yes, that name rings a bell," I lied. Of course I knew who Riona was, though I had never met her. Hendak had told me the story of how she and her brave group had risked all to free him and others, and how they had joined in later breaking the slave cartel. He had never mentioned the others in her group, however, and I had not known Anomen was a part of it. It gave me more reason to help him as I realized I owed him a debt of gratitude.

"As Hendak is your love, Riona is _my_ true love," he said softly, and for the first time since meeting him, Delryn's eyes literally sparkled.

He did not know it, but he had just given me a key. I sat back in my chair and relaxed.

"Tell, me, Anomen. Tell me about Riona." I prepared to listen.

"My Riona…" he sighed. Every emotion of a man in love flooded his face. I was hoping Ki didn't overload trying to record all of this!

"We met not too long before the slave rebellion, and ironically at the Copper Coronet. I was standing on the far side of the main room when in walked the most exquisite creature I had ever laid my eyes upon. She had the most beautiful hair of dark, luminous Chastain copper and the way it loosely flowed over her armor, it cast reflections rivaling the beauty of a late summer's sunset. She looked straight at me and began to walk toward me. As she neared I could see she had skin of fine alabaster with but a hint of pale rose in her cheek. Then I saw her eyes. By the gods…those eyes…." He was momentarily lost in his recollection. "Her eyes were the color of fine amber but there were flecks of gold dancing in them, taunting me from the very beginning. They shimmered, they teased.

"'Anomen Delryn?' she said. I nodded, as I did not trust my voice. I had never spoken to one as beautiful as she and I was overwhelmed with fear that I would only confirm what a fool I thought myself to be if I attempted to do so. 'I understand you are looking for, shall we say, temporary employment in the field of adventuring and righting wrongs?' She said to me and smiled. I was instantly smitten. Totally and unabashedly smitten. But I was so naive I did not even know I had moved into the trap without taking a single step!" He laughed at himself. "By the Gods! I had never been around anyone such as she, and the teachers at the Academy certainly did not include any instruction in the defense against the beauty of a woman as she possessed!" He laughed again.

He was animated. He was alive. This was the real Delryn I was observing. I wanted desperately to reach in and grab him and pull him out even more.

"And you fell in love with her at that moment?" I smiled at him fully understanding what he was saying.

"Oh, yes, Glory, but I did not know. I did not know!"

He did not stumble over my name. Good. He was becoming comfortable. This honest sharing of his first meeting with his Riona had planted our first seeds of trust. I had to exploit this opportunity and urged him on.

"I accepted her offer to join and we began the first of our many journeys to Trademeet. From the beginning, I had this growing, deep yearning down in the very pit of my being and for many weeks as we traveled together I tried to deny it, I argued against it. Then other members of our party told me of her, er, heritage." He stopped abruptly. "I was shocked at first."

"What do you mean, 'her heritage'?" I interjected. This had an ironically familiar ring to it, I thought.

"She…, she is a daughter of Bhaal. I told myself that even though she was beautiful, she was still the daughter of the God of Murder. I was angry that I had these feelings and longings for this woman who was, by birth, the very antithesis of every righteous belief I held dear in my heart. I even questioned what I was doing in her party! In my mind I believed that even if the goodness in her heart belied her heritage, the blood of that murderous beast still coursed through her veins and it could never be abated." He stopped and looked down at his hands.

"Did you speak with her about her heritage?"

"Yes, we spoke of it several times as we were traveling to Umar Hills," he said and paused. "She..Her feeling was she was not controlled by her blood, that she had a choice in how she was to conduct her life." He stopped.

"Why do you pause, Anomen? Is there more to the memory that you wish to share with me?" It was a bold question on my part and a gamble. He could either proceed or completely stonewall me. There was a tense moment and his eyes were still rooted to his hands in his lap.

"I..I must confess to having been quite boorish and judgmental when we talked. I…I think it was part of the anger I felt toward her for making me fall in love with her." It was a petulant little boy's confession.

"And how did she react to you?" I asked.

"She didn't. I mean, she wasn't angry with me and my despicable display of behavior - and she should have been."

"Were you anticipating some type of retribution from her?"

"I..I think I may have been unknowingly provoking her simply to prove to myself I was right."

"Right about….." I hoped he would finish the sentence for me.

"Right about my belief she was inherently evil and if she reacted badly toward me, then her father's black blood could not be denied."

I let him think about what he had just said for a moment.

"Being 'right' all of the time carries an onerous burden of responsibility, Anomen," I said. "Now tell me, how did you get past this hurdle of her person versus her parentage?" I was fairly successful with the last bold inquiry, I thought I would try another. He breathed deeply and finally raised his head.

"One night not long after our numerous conversations, we were camped outside of Trademeet. I heard her cry out in her sleep. I bounded instinctively from my own bedroll and ran to her. No one else stirred. I dropped to my knees beside her as she tossed fitfully in her sleep. It was as if she was being chased by the most dreaded of demons. She looked so vulnerable and beautiful in the moonlight and I gently brushed her hair from her face. I had never touched such beauty before.." He was deep in the memory and his voice lowered and softened to a near whisper.

"Being very careful not to startle her, I gently reached for her hand and took it into mine. I could not bear to see her so anguished and I felt so helpless. I was desperately hoping that just by being there I could somehow help her in her horrid world of dreams. I sat with her until the moon slipped over the horizon and her visions had calmed. She never awoke. I then quietly slipped back to my own bedroll, my vigil totally undetected." He paused.

"As I lay there thinking, I realized she was not of Bhaal. The dark blood in her veins was hers to do with as she chose in this life. She constantly fought her own demons for that right of choice. The decision of good or evil was hers and hers alone to make, and, as she had tried to tell me, she had made that decision on the side of right."

"And this revelation changed how you felt about Riona?" I asked. There was a long silence.

"No, Glory, it simply allowed me to acknowledge how I _already_ felt about her." He had a momentary look of surprise at his own admission then leaned toward me almost gripping the arms of the chair. "I loved her madly."

Very, very good, young Delryn, I thought. You are a _very_ quick study indeed.

"Did you share these feelings with Riona?" I asked.

"No, not until much later. Not being versed in the wooing of a woman such as she, I. I was much too timid and unsure of myself. And she had given me no indication of any similar feelings in return. The shame of my earlier, unacceptable behavior was still with me as well, and I felt.., I felt unworthy of her attentions. I... I could not, in my wildest visions, ever imagine this exquisite woman wanting me the way I wanted her, of ever feeling the way I felt about her. I… I resigned myself to anguishing in my unrequited love." A flash of remembered pain briefly washed his face.

"It is very difficult to share intense feelings with someone when trust is in its developing stages between that person and us. We are acutely aware of our own vulnerability and feel we are exposing our innermost feelings to ridicule, and worse, rejection. It usually is a very risky proposition for us and on the side of caution, we weigh the potential gains against such risk." I paused. "What made you take that leap of faith?"

He looked down and did not speak. He seemed to know where I wanted us to go with this.

"Actually, _she_ did…by being my friend and confidant. And it was more like an infant's first steps, not a 'leap.' I began by telling her about my family, and my upbringing, and sharing my fears and sorrows from my early childhood. I did not seek her pity, but she listened and she cared. And in my petty insolence and many outbursts, she did not judge me like..like I had judged her. She consoled me. I tried to console her. We shared many joys, and many demons." He looked up at me and I was deeply moved.

"The building of trust is a primary component of real love, Anomen," I said trying to soothe his mind. "Can you tell me what you spoke about?" I did not expect his brutally honest, or extended, response.

"I… I told her of my childhood – before the Academy…I told her of my Mother and how when I was a little boy I could hear her screams of anguish at the hands of my drunken Father in the middle of the night. That the only peace we garnered was when he journeyed to the South to buy goods. Wherever he traveled, he would revel with the whores in the taverns all the night then return home days later stinking of their putrid sweat and cheap ale. Then he would expect my Mother to lay with him, the filthy whoring dog."

He was trembling. His seething rage had swiftly emerged and overtook him. His breathing was immediately labored and his face grew deep crimson. He was unleashing the underlords of his own personal hell, whether he consciously wanted to, or not.

Smoldering, grotesque memories overtook him and came pouring from their primal depths. A litany of the cruelest acts ever perpetrated by a human on another human came in a mad rush. Did he realize he had ceased recalling his conversations with Riona and had begun to relate these directly to me?

I heard of drunken frenzies ending in bloody beatings for no reason. Of being physically bound to the table for not eating all of his dinner. There was the constant berating and being told he was worthless and that he would never be anything more than a guttersnipe. His father sneered at him; his father spat at him. He was told he was stupid. He was told he was the most evil, foul thing that ever walked the face of Toril. This young man had suffered the most devastating cruelties at the hands of the man who should have loved him and protected him the most – his father.

I had never heard behavior so heinous, and as I sat intently listening, I thought I might be physically ill. He paused briefly and caught his breath. His face was still dark red.

"What happened, Anomen? Tell me what brought you from your home to the Academy," I said. I knew there had to be a triggering event and he needed to tell me now. He clinched his jaw and his eyes narrowed. He was going to answer me and then proceeded in a low voice.

"It happened one day when I was ten, and almost a year, my Father in one of his drunken rages began to beat my Mother with his quarterstaff. I sensed this time was worse than usual. I knew if I did nothing, he was going to kill my Mother. My Father's rage was of a man possessed. I stepped between them. The staff came crashing down on my shoulder and I heard the sound of bone cracking and blood immediately soaked my shirt. I felt the most severe pain I could ever imagine but I could not move. My Mother's life depended upon me remaining there, steadfast, regardless of what he did to me. He would have to kill me to get to her. It gave her enough time to grab the carving knife from the sideboard and as the staff came down again on my arm, she yelled." He breathed deeply and rubbed his arm unconsciously recalling the blow.

"'You will halt, Lord Cor, and lay down your staff,' she said in a voice that was not her own. 'Or, by the Gods, I will gut you from your throat to your groin.' He stopped in mid-air knowing full well she was good to her word. As she held him at knifepoint, she instructed me to gather a few things in a pack - that we were going to leave. My shoulder and arm throbbed with searing pain, but my fear was greater than my pain. I ran to my room and gathered a few belongings. I managed to get the pack up on my good shoulder and quickly returned to the dining room where in the silence she still held him at bay - she, unflinching and ashen-faced, and he, motionless in his wild anger.

"'Get your sister from her bed and go outside and await me on the walk, Anomen,' she said calmly but firmly. 'I will be with you shortly.' I backed out of the room and ran to Moira's bedroom. I shook her violently to awaken her. 'Come on Moira….wake up! We have to go! Now!' She rubbed her eyes and started to whine. 'Come on… now!' I slipped her cloak over her nightdress, put on her slippers and herded her to the front door and out to the walkway. 'What is it Ano? Why did you wake me? Where is Mother? Where are we going?' she asked. 'I want Mother.' Then she saw the blood on my shirt and started to cry. 'Oh, Ano! You're hurt! I want Mother… I'm scared…'

"'She will be here shortly, Moira,' I said and tried to comfort her with my good arm. I was breathless and my heart was pounding. My other arm lay at an unnatural angle at my side and I was becoming light-headed and dizzy from the pain. A few moments later Mother appeared at the door.

"'Where will we go, Mother?' I asked, my eyes beginning to fill with mist from the throbbing in my body.

"'We are going to have your shoulder and your armed healed,' she answered calmly, 'at the Church of Helm. But we must first stop at the Order of the Radiant Heart. Be strong, Anomen. Be strong for Mother.' She summoned a carriage and the three of us climbed up into it. Mother calmed Moira and a short time later, we arrived at the great doors of the Order. 'Wait here in the carriage, Anomen, as I will only be a moment. Watch your sister and try to calm her.' She returned a moment later and hastily gave instructions to the driver to proceed to the Church of Helm. In a few moments we were there.

"We were greeted by a high Priest and a Knight of the Order. She introduced me to the Knight, Sir Ryan Trawl. It was as if they were expecting us.

"Then the Priest kindly took me with him to heal my broken shoulder and arm. My Mother took Moira and talked to Sir Ryan. I could not hear what was being said, but I could see from Sir Ryan's face he was visibly upset at what my Mother was telling him. Suddenly the searing pain was gone. The nausea left me. 'Good as new,' the Priest smiled and patted my head.

"I walked over to my Mother. She looked down at me and smiled. 'All better?' she asked.

"'Yes, Mother. The Priest said good as new!' I was happy to be mended and whole again, and I moved my shoulder and arm to show her all was well.

"'Very good, Anomen,' and she brushed back my hair with her small hand. 'Anomen, we are all going to stay here tonight and give your Father a chance to gather himself.' I was relieved to know I did not have to return to that demon-infested house that night, and for the first time in memory, I slept without terror. I awoke the next morning with my Mother sitting on the edge of my small bed.

"'Anomen, I have a wonderful surprise for you,' she told me. 'You are going with Sir Ryan to the Academy today. He feels you will do very well in the service of Helm and has agreed to arrange for your enrollment. It is a wonderful place and you will be very happy there.'

"'But, Mother,' I began to protest. 'Who will take care of you, Mother? Who will keep Father from hurting you? Who will look after Moira?' I was confused and bewildered. I did not understand why my Mother was sending me away. I could only think that I…I must have been as truly evil as Father told me. My Mother did not want me anymore." His rage had ebbed and his face filled with great sorrow.

"Did she ever explain to you why she sent you to the Academy?" I asked him. He shook his head.

"No, it was much later that Moira told me it was so I would be safe. I didn't believe her at the time. She was just a little girl. I always believed I was sent away because I was bad. And I had tried to be so good, but this 'evil' inside me stirred Father's furious rages against us….I.., I always felt that it was all my fault," his voice trailed off.

"Anomen, do you believe a little boy can be 'evil?'" I asked. He hung his head and did not answer.

"Anomen, do you believe a little boy can be 'evil?'" I repeated myself pressing him for an answer. "Think, Anomen. In all of your travels, have you ever met a little boy, or a little girl, for that matter, who was 'evil?'" I was bordering on badgering. I had to be careful.

Dead silence for a small eternity.

"No, Madam," he looked up directly into my eyes. "I have never met an 'evil' child."

"So let me ask you the obvious," I paused. "Other than your father's verbal assaults, is there any reason for you to believe you were an 'evil' little boy?" Well, this _was_ badgering and generally not a readily acceptable method of therapy, but I was running on my instincts.

"No, Glory," he slowly shook his head. "Other than my Father, there was no reason to believe I was an 'evil' little boy. It is just that he always told me…"

"Anomen, do you think he could have fabricated this lie, that he would not have to take responsibility for his own heinous and cruel behavior?" I asked softly.

"It…it is possible." He was at least contemplating the premise.

"Anomen, little boys are naughty - not evil." I forged ahead. "Little boys do not instigate violent behavior in adults. The violent abuse dispensed by your father had nothing to do with anything you did, or didn't do. Your father alone is responsible for his reprehensible acts against your family. His rages were rooted deeply within him and you, your mother, and your sister were the unfortunate objects of it." I paused.

"But, my Mother sent me away.." The sorrow on his face deepened.

"You were just a little boy, Anomen. Your mother knew all of this and she also knew that if she kept you at home, there would be disastrous consequences for you. She could not bear the risk of you being hurt again - or worse." I stopped briefly and gauged my voice.

"Anomen, for your Mother to send you away for your own safety and in the hopes you would have a happier life was a tremendous sacrifice on her part. She was giving up her wonderful little boy - and a great portion of the real joy in her life." I paused. "It is only the greatest and purest love that precipitates such a selfless act of sacrifice.

"Do you understand this?" I asked softly.

"My..my Mother..? She..she really didn't just give me away?" His eyes instantly welled with tears.

"No, Anomen, your Mother loved you and Moira more than she loved anything in this life. Let there never be a doubt in your heart, or mind, of that fact," I said. I thought I sensed him slowly release a long-held sigh of relief. I would have to remember to ask Ki later.

At Anomen's request, Charona delivered two glasses of chowderberry juice and we took a short break from our session. It had been, so far, more than I could have hoped for. He had achieved his first major break-through in near record time and although he had many other hurdles to overcome, I knew he was going to succeed. He had to.

"Ki, how much time do we have left?" I asked.

"46 minutes, Mistress," he replied in Lord Phade's voice.

"Haaa!" said Anomen. "He's wonderful!" He had recognized the celebrity impersonation of sorts. "I really must secure a Kirani bird for Riona. She would find him most entertaining!"

Ki ruffled his feathers in a gesture I knew to be his annoyance at young Delryn's unintentional slight. A Kirani bird being sought for nothing more than mere amusement bruised Ki's ego ever so slightly.

A few more minutes passed and we returned to our session.

"Anomen, were you able to see your mother and Moira after you entered the Academy?" I asked. The official record was very clear on this, but I wanted to discover what had been told to him as to why he had no family visitations. His answer surprised me.

"Yes, they would come to the gate once a week and the Priests would let me go and talk with them in the Courtyard," he nodded. "My Mother and Moira were there every week and then, after.., after Mother died, Moira would come by herself."

This was interesting, I thought. There was certainly no record of these visits in the Academy Records I had reviewed.

"Did your father ever come to visit?" I asked.

"No, he was not allowed to enter the Academy as long as I was in residence, or so I was told by the Priests."

That, too, had been omitted by the Record Keeper.

"Did you visit home during holidays or special occasions?" Ordinarily I wouldn't be so inquisitive about inconsequential details, but it seemed there were unexplained contradictions between the Record and Anomen's recollections.

"No, I was strictly forbidden to go home for any reason," he replied.

This was, indeed, bizarre. The Record simply recorded that there were no home visitations, not that he was forbidden to go. Why would the Church seek to change or omit such minor details about one little boy? I would have to shelve that in the back of my mind for later contemplation.

The remainder of our session was spent with Anomen telling me more in depth about the Academy, his best friend Jason, and more of the everyday activities. These were more joyous memories for him and he relaxed as he shared them with me.

"Did you miss 'home?'" I asked.

"I missed my Mother and Moira, but I did not miss 'home,'" he replied. "The Academy and the Church of Helm became my home."

A very successful session, I thought when Anomen Delryn left my office. I plopped down in my chair near exhausted from the morning. The greater restoration that Seer Marybeth had gifted me before her departure was enough to compensate for the toll taken by her revelations, but Delryn had a few that had drained me as well. I would have time to recuperate before his return the next week. I glanced at the afternoon schedule. Lord Leslie, yes, rescheduled from earlier in the week. Egads, I just was not up to hearing his whining today about how bad the world was and that was why he chose not to go out into it.

"Charona," I called. "Send a messenger to Lord Leslie and return his triple coin from his missed session. Tell him I am feeling generous and he not only gets his coin returned, but he doesn't have to see me until next week."

"Yes, Mistress." I could hear her chuckling.

I began sorting my notes and putting them into their folders. No, I would resist the temptation to dive in review of Delryn until later when my mind was clearer.

"Madam, might I interest you in a small mid-day meal?"

I looked up and saw Hendak, son of the Goddess Waukeen.

"Oh, yes, my love. But what say you to a private luncheon for two in our suite at the Copper Coronet?" I extended the suggestive invitation.

"Even better!" his smile widened. Yes, restoration spells were great, but there was nothing that could replace raw, indulgent passion in the middle of the afternoon for restoring one's soul. It was a great prescription.

We left Charona to a mound of paperwork and since it was a beautiful day, decided to walk to the Coronet. Hendak stopped at one of the vendors at the edge of the Promenade to buy flowers for me. The ruddy-faced vendor smiled a near-toothless smile at us as he graciously handed a dozen red roses to me.

"No charge, Hendak," said Medoc. "These are for Madam Glory. An engagement present from me and the missus here!" His little wife stood nearby nodding happily.

I thanked the short round man and kissed him on his grimy cheek. His face grew even more red. "Oh, Madam….," he blushed.

We continued our walk.

"Well, my love, I had an interesting visitor this morning," I said.

"Oh really?" he smiled knowingly.

"You already know, don't you!" I said in surprise.

"I must confess, my love, Seer Marybeth did come to see me after her visit with you. Seeing me was a part of her mission to see you." He chuckled knowingly. Why did I have the feeling he wasn't telling me something? Whatever it was, I would find out later. His Mother might be a God, but he was still half-mortal, and I could get whatever it was out of him. After all, I was a mortal woman, and I knew how.

The balance of the day was taken from a storybook. We ate, we made love, and we slept in each other's arms. We awoke long enough to have dinner served and then continued with a repetition of the afternoon's schedule.

It was blissful to awaken the next morning after a full night's uninterrupted rest. I bounded from our bed feeling full of life. I was going to pick my wedding dress this day, I thought to myself.

"You have that little secret smile of yours upon your lips," Hendak came up to me and put his arms around me.

"It's not a secret, my love. I was just remembering that my dressmaker is coming to my office this afternoon so that we can begin designing my wedding dress," I said coyly.

"Ah…,"he said. "I see. So what I am seeing is the smile of a bride-to-be as she is thinking of things to come."

"Yes, I suppose you could say that," I smiled. "But first, I have a new patient to whom I must attend."

"And, just when is this new patient arriving," he asked and nuzzled into my neck.

"Mid-morning, and I fear I don't have time to indulge in your unspoken invitation here and still arrive in time to greet him," I chuckled.

"Alas, my wants and needs are to be shunned and set aside until this eve?" He was teasing me as he so often did.

"Yes, my love. Godspawn, or no godspawn, you'll just have to wait." And I laughed and kissed him on his cheek.

I quickly readied myself for my work morning. A quick bath, new silk dress, fresh braids, and I was out the door. Thankfully, Charona would be there when I arrived. I really had to give her an increase in her coin for all the extra things she did for me. I made a mental note.

I barely arrived before Sir Ryan Trawl.

"Sir Ryan, how lovely to see you again," I said as Charona escorted the handsome Knight into my office.

"And you, my Lady," he smiled warmly and bent to kiss my hand. Such chivalry was so seductive, I thought.

"Please do sit down. May I entice you with a latte, perhaps, or a cup of chowderberry juice?"

"No, thank you, Glory. I am quite fine as is." He was so impressively gracious.

"Very well, then shall we begin?" I motioned to Charona and she closed the door.

I delivered my brief litany of Ki and the recording of the session and, yes, he understood, and the formalities were out of the way.

"Now, Sir Ryan, how can I possibly be of service to you?" I asked. I had almost forgotten about his purloined note in my desk drawer.

"Glory, forgive me, but I must ask… We are now under the cloak of 'privilege' now that the session has begun?" he asked. What a strange question, I thought. It was the same thing he had asked me the night of the party.

"Of course, Sir Ryan. I am ethically bound to keep our sessions in strict confidence. I can not speak directly of anything discussed here."

"Ah..,"he smiled. "Very good."

Another short eternity. What was it with these knights and near-knights. Couldn't they just spit it out?

"Sir Ryan?"

"Yes, Glory. Well, let me tell you why I am here and how I need your help." He paused again and leaned forward.

"You see…., I am Anomen Delryn's _real_ father," he began slowly.

Well, well, well. Life was just full of surprises lately, I thought. After what I had seen and heard over the past few days, this didn't surprise me one bit. No, not one bit.

TO BE CONTINUED……………..


	5. Chapter V

THE ANGST AND THE ANALYST

From the Journals and Papers of Dr. MorningGlory Gaeston

(Rated R-17: Adult themes, explicit sex, mild language, mild violence, brief nudity)

CHAPTER V.

I took a deep breath.

"Sir Ryan," I began. "As I explained to you the other evening, the privilege of confidentiality extends to all of my patients, both past and present. I am sure you are aware Anomen Delryn is currently a patient of mine, having been referred by the Church of Helm. I can not divulge any privileged information of our sessions – even to the Watcher himself."

"Yes, madam, I fully realize this, and I am not asking that you do. But I have knowledge of certain things – empirical knowledge, if you will – that may assist you in your treatment of young Anomen. And, please do not think I am here to subvert your treatment, but I want you to know the facts as they were so that you might be, shall we say, 'better prepared' in formulating an overall, concise approach to him and his problems."

"I appreciate your concern, Sir Ryan, and please know that I mean no disrespect, but Lord Cor is his father of record and there is no other evidence of record disputing this. Do you have anything that would corroborate your assertion of his parentage?"

I didn't need any written evidence. I had only to look into Sir Ryan's blue/green eyes. Yes, if Anomen shaved his beard, there would be more than just a casual resemblance. The eyes, the jaw line, the chin, were all nearly the same. Only the hair color was a great departure. I recalled Lord Cor from a meeting at my Father's a few years back. Smallish, dark eyes- no recollection of any similarity between he and Anomen. Sir Ryan spoke the truth and I was about to hear the explicit details of it.

"No, madam, there is nothing of record. There is only the failing memory of a few of my dearest and closest life-long friends but for some of them, the mere knowledge of what occurred then could still jeopardize them today," he smiled sadly. "Perhaps, my Lady, if you would indulge me, I will share my – 'our' – story with you that you understand the circumstances."

"'Our?'" I questioned.

"Yes, my Lady. The Lady Moriala and I." I saw the same sparkle I had seen in Anomen's eyes when he first spoke of Riona. There was no doubt, these men were father and son.

"I first met the Lady Moriala shortly after she and Lord Cor were wed. I had just come from the Academy and was assigned to the Church of Helm here in the city. I myself was unwed and had aspirations of someday becoming a Knight in the Order. Moriala's family, the du Chevalier's, had arranged for her marriage some five years previously. Although Lord Cor was not as young as she, he was already successful in his own right and held even greater promise in the world of commerce. He had already garnered a reputation as a shrewd businessman, however rumors circulated widely regarding his scruples, or, rather, his seeming lack thereof. Darker rumors abounded about his –and, forgive me if I sound 'indelicate' – appetites for depravity. Montre duChevalier, my Lady's father was either never privy to such rumors or chose to disbelieve them. In any case, her family thought Lord Cor was a perfect match for her. Although not handsome, he was thought of as dashing, he was of noble birth, immensely successful, and it seemed the Gods had indeed answered their prayers for their daughter's husband. Of course, Lord Cor's father, Lord Maxwell, was very pleased as well. Word among the nobles was it was good he had finally found a willing, decent young woman that would give his son an heir, seeing that the daughters of the nobles would have nothing to do with him, his rumored debauchery made him so despised. Lord Maxwell had also made it financially appealing to Montre duChevalier and his family.

"My Lady was a devout follower of Helm in those days and we constantly ran into each other at the Church. I, with my regular duties, and she, with her works of charity. From these casual meetings and occasional Church projects, we became friends, though not close ones in the beginning.

"It was not too long after I met her that she announced she and Lord Cor were expecting a child. We, at the Church, were, naturally, overjoyed at the news of her blessed event. I sensed, however, a certain note of trepidation in her voice when she told me. There was an air of underlying anxiety that only later would I understand.

"She was a small woman, not particularly possessing a good constitution, and the ensuing months that she carried her child were filled with illness from such burden. We at the Church would dispense healing for her when we could, but carrying the child was most debilitating for her. I did not know at the time that Lord Cor had become – shall we say, 'disenchanted' – with his wife in her current state and had taken to hitting her on occasion. Rumors also abounded that while on trips to the South, he was availing himself of the fancies offered by the prostitutes in the local taverns.

"It was one day near the end of her term that she stumbled into the Church pale, quite disheveled and in near shock. I and my assistant, a wonderful healer named Michael, happened to be the only ones in residence. She stumbled into my arms and there fainted. I looked down and noticed droplets of blood on the floor that seemed to come from under her torn skirts. She was obviously very hurt. We immediately brought her to quarters in the back and laid her on a small bed. Michael performed a major healing ritual for her but it was too late for her unborn child. Having no other choice in the matter, we proceeded to deliver her stillborn child. When I asked her if we should fetch Lord Cor, she was near hysterical in her opposition. I convinced her that he must be informed and as Moriala slept, I sent a messenger to the Delryn home in the Government District to explain what had happened.

"Lord Cor was not at home. However, Lord Maxwell did arrive about an hour later. He was distraught beyond all measure. 'My son,' he cried, shaking his head. 'My bastardly son did this. His drunken rage has possessed him and made him kill his son.'

"'Father Maxwell,' Moriala awakened from her slumber and smiled up at her father-in-law. They were very fond of one another.

"'Let me take you home, Moriala,' he said and then turned to me. 'I will send someone to gather the little one later for preparation for interment in the family crypt.' He turned and wept. His servants then carried Moriala out to his awaiting carriage.

"I remember my assistant asking, 'Do you think?..' and I interrupted him. 'It is not for us to speculate, Michael. We did what our duty called upon us to do.'

"Many weeks passed before I saw my Lady again. I had attempted to garner some information on her condition, but the Delryns were keeping everything very quiet. I remember looking up from a donated box of goods for the poor and seeing her beautiful smiling face looking back at me.

"'My Lady, how wonderful to see you again!' I gushed before I had the good presence of mind to contain my enthusiasm. 'How are you feeling? Are you well?' She laughed.

"'Oh, yes, Ryan, I am quite fine, thank you. As a matter of fact, so well that I want to resume my work here at the Church.'

"'Oh yes, my Lady. You and your good deeds have been sorely missed by all of us in the service of Helm.'

"We never spoke of the incident again until almost a year later. Lord Maxwell had taken ill, could not be revived and had died suddenly, leaving his family totally unprepared for his demise. Moriela had come to the Church shortly thereafter and again I saw that same look of anxiety etched upon her face as when we first met.

"'My Lady, I hope you will not think me churlish, but is something bothering you that I might be able to assist you with?' I gently offered hoping she would confide in me. I could not explain it to myself then, but the thought of her being discomforted troubled me greatly.

"Her pale blue eyes looked at me as if she were torn between telling me and not telling me. She finally acquiesced. 'Are you sure you want to hear this story?' she asked. I nodded.

"She then began to relate to me how Lord Cor had returned home that fateful day many months ago in a drunken angry rage. He had torn her dress and pushed her from room to room. She had fallen and he kicked her in an attempt to make her get up from the floor. It was hewho was responsible for the stillbirth of their son. When Lord Maxwell brought her home from the Church, he delivered to Cor an ultimatum – As long as he (Lord Maxwell) lived, Lord Cor would never touch Moriala in rage again. If he so much as laid a hand upon her, he would immediately be disinherited and disowned. He would be stripped of his title and his family's wealth. However, the untimely death of Lord Maxwell had brought an end to the peace Moriala had enjoyed since then and the periodic rages that came in spurts and fits were flaring up again. She was frightened.

"Lord Cor then began traveling more as he attempted to open up new routes to the North and to the East. There was a period of time that he was not home for many months. It was during this time that Moriala and I became close friends. She had no family here as they had moved to Baldur's Gate after receiving substantial sums from Lord Maxwell prior to his death. She would come to the Church and we would work together on some project or other and simply enjoy the time we were able to spend together.

"Then it came to the occasion of the celebration of the day of my birth. I do not know how she found out when it was, but she invited me for a special dinner that she told me she was going to cook with her own hands. I was most honored by her invitation and the prospect of seeing her outside the Church's confines seemed most refreshing.

"I arrived at the appointed time and she greeted me at the door. She had graciously released the servants from their duties for the evening as she wanted to prepare this meal for me.

"I sat and watched her as she moved about her kitchen preparing many delicacies to savor with our wine. We talked and we laughed. We ate dinner. We had more wine. Then she rose to clear the table and I attempted to help. In a moment of misdirection a small plate went flying and Helm placed her perfectly in my arms. I looked down into her upturned face and felt compelled to kiss her. I can still remember the smell of jasmine from her dark chestnut hair and how sweet the wine tasted from her lips." It was the first time he had paused. He took a breath and continued, his face slightly flushed. "That moment in time, I loved her."

"I picked her up and carried her to the main bedroom and she did not object when my destination became known and my intention clear. We undressed each other and made love to each other. It was, and still remains, one of the most treasured experiences in my life. And that is the night that Anomen was conceived.

"During the next several weeks I tried to convince her to leave Lord Cor, even before he returned home, that we would go to the North where no one knew us. She would not hear of it, saying it would bring dishonor on her family if she left her home to run off with a poor Cleric from Helm's Church. It was not a slight against me, it was just that in her mind, she was bound by her father's pledge many years prior. It was her duty to 'serve' Lord Cor just as it was my duty to serve the Great Watcher, Helm. It was a few weeks after that she discovered she was with my child."

"Lord Cor returned home one ten-day later. In order to perfect her ruse, she fed him wine and seduced him. She thought that in laying with him she could simply explain an early birth later on. But Lord Cor was no fool. During his absence, he had engaged the services of a nefarious, but adept, spy to keep a record of her comings and her goings, her visitors, and anything else out of the ordinary. The spy did an excellent job. He had recorded precisely my arrival time that fateful night and my departure in the early morn along with the fact there were no servants present. When Lord Cor became suspicious of Anomen's birth time many months later, he had only to refer to his reports and, counting backward, pinpoint it was I, in all likelihood, who fathered young infant Anomen.

"He came to see me at the Church to confront me. He sneered Moriala's name and said he knew that I was his infant son's real father. I knew if I admitted to it, he would have me killed -but worse, he would kill Moriala with his bare hands for her betrayal. I did not think of, or care for, my own safety. If the authorities wanted to burn me at the stake in front of the prison for our infidelity, so be it. But I could not let Moriala die at the hands of that monster. For the love I felt for her, I had no choice but to deny it." A much longer pause.

"It broke my heart as I stood there looking into the eyes of this vermin and told him my son was his. I waited for Helm to strike me down. Then came the realization that death was nothing compared to living with the thought that animal was going to be my son's father.

"My wits returned. 'I demand proof of what you say,' I told him. He cited the late night visit as evidenced by his spy. 'That is not legal proof, Lord Cor. You know the court does not allow proof of that type. You will be the laughing stock of Athkatla if you bring such charges against a Priest of Helm and one of Helm's most generous patrons.' He thought about it for a moment then turned and in raging silence, left without another word.

"With the guidance of Helm, I had stared him down. But he left knowing young Anomen was not his.

"My Lady did not frequent the church as she did before our baby's arrival. On occasion I was blessed with glimpses of him when she was in attendance. I kept a small journal and noted every time I would be so blessed then realize that my denial of him had become my on-going curse.

"I then met a lovely young woman a few years later, and although she was not my Moriala, nor could she ever be, I loved her and we were married. It was then I began to squire for the Order and I still had some obligations for the Church. Then the second part of my curse descended upon me. We discovered we would never have children. Nora, my wife, was barren. Helm had indeed made me atone for my sin in ways much worse than death. What I had denied was, in turn, denied to me." His head hung low for an instant.

"In a few more years I passed my Test and became a full Knight of the Order. It was a very proud day of celebration at the Radiant Heart. And for a brief, fleeting moment I thought I saw Moriala in the back of the Hall clutching the hand of a small brown-haired boy. I blinked andthey were gone.

"I then spent several years on various campaigns across Faerun for both Helm and the Order. It was about five years later that I was I was sitting with Sir Keldorn and Sir Fahey at the Order early one evening. I heard someone approach and when I looked up, Moriala was standing in front of me, ashen-faced and blood spatters on her dress.

"'Sir Ryan,' her voice was shakey and faint. 'My son - OUR son - Anomen is in desperate need of your aid.' I knew without her ever telling me.

"'Take your carriage to the Church of Helm and I will meet you there,' I replied without any hesitation. She turned and swept from the room. I turned to my two best friends. 'Gentlemen, if you will excuse me I have some very important business to attend to. Should you have any questions about what you have just heard, I will be happy to enlighten you upon my return.' I raced across the long hall, out the side door and swung upon my horse. I arrived minutes before the carriage and raced to find Michael who had ascended the ranks and was now one of the officiating Priests. 'My son,' I told him breathlessly. 'You need to heal my son. I do not know what is wrong with him, but he will be here momentarily.'

"'Whatever are you talking about, Sir Ryan?' he said. 'You have no children.' Just then Moriala entered the Church with Anomen and Moira, her daughter. Michael looked at me wide-eyed but said nothing. They walked up to us. Anomen was just a little boy, but his shoulder was bloody and his arm hung lifeless at his side. Tears were brimming his eyes and he was holding back the sobs of the pain. Michael took him aside and Moriala and I stepped away.

"'What happened, Moriala,' I asked through clinched teeth. She told me. My rage almost overcame me. I had to use every bit of discipline I had garnered in the service of Helm and the Order not to go to Lord Cor's house and drive my lance through his black heart.

"'No more, Moriala' I said. 'My son will be abused never again by that animal you call your husband. Your honor or not,Anomen isbut a boyand has done nothing to warrant such despicable acts against him. Tomorrow he goes to the Academy where he will at least be safe. And, Moriala, if you dare to defy me in this, _the only thing I have ever asked of you_, I will bring the entire Order of the Radiant Heart down on Lord Cor's demon head and the Gods help you if you are nearby or in the way.'

"The next day I took my wonderful son to the Academy where he was enrolled in the teachings of the Service of Helm. I was so very proud." He paused to catch his breath.

"Sir Ryan, if I may ask, why did you not simply take him home with you?" I asked, taking advantage of the respite.

"I was always fearful that my wife, Nora, would have grown to resent Anomen. During her life, she never came to terms with the fact we were childless. When she died almost a year ago she repeated that was her only regret in this life – that she could not give me a child of my own. I just could not risk hurting her with my secret. I was afraid she would grow to hate me knowing I had a son and not born of her. And there were always the inferred threats from Lord Cor himself. Nora could not have withstood the scandal." He was deeply ashamed and I could sense he had been carrying this pain with him for the better part of his life. "So, I did what I thought was best for everyone. I forced Moriala to give up Anomen in the hopes he would at least escape that devil. I only wish that I had known sooner."

I sat for a moment digesting all of this and then returned to my original question.

"Sir Ryan, what can I possibly do to be of service to you?"

"Madam Glory, I am hoping you can help me find a way to tell Anomen Delryn that he is my son and I love him very much. And, I know he may never forgive me, but I will spend the rest of my life trying to make amends." His tired blue-green eyes welled with tears.

Yes, Sir Ryan, he could indeed end up hating you.

Our session ended a few minutes later and I asked him to schedule for early in the next ten-day. He rose, so delicately kissed my hand in farewell and left my office. He made arrangements with Charona for four days later, the day after I was to see Delryn.

It was already noon and I sat staring out my window thinking through my dilemma with Anomen's case. I was privy to direct information about him, yet unknown to him, but from another patient whose confidentiality was held in privilege. Well, this little conundrum was a real kick in the pants. How was I going to justify using the information Sir Ryan confided in me in helping young Delryn deliver what he believed was an evil soul born of an evil father that was never his father to begin with? Yes, this was a real kick in the pants, alright. I softly rocked and meditated on the ethical arguments until my esoteric musings were interrupted by Charona.

"Mistress, I have strict orders from your future husband to make sure you take a mid-day meal. I thought I should at least give you the choice as to what you would like," she smiled.

"Charona, that is lovely. Maybe some goat cheese and some fruit would be nice. Oh, and Charona, before I forget it, would you also give yourself a raise when next you pay the wages for yourself?"

"A raise in coin, Mistress?" her eyes light up.

"Yes, Charona. Increase it by 25 a week."

"But, Mistress, that is almost double," she began to object.

"Yes, Charona, and you are worth ten times that, but 25 a week is all I can cover now," I laughed.

"Thank you, Mistress Glory! Thank you! I will run right away and get your cheese and fruit for you." She was out the door and I could hear her laughing all the way down the Promenade.

My dressmaker arrived right on schedule. She brought her sewing apprentice who had the chore of carrying the cumbersome selections of silks and laces and for the next two-and-a-half hours we looked at bolts of samples, she sketched in her note scroll, she re-sketched, she measured me, she re-measured. We were finally through. The dress was at least on paper and the silks had been selected. She would have to order them and they would be specially made.

The end of the day was nearing and I was anxious to leave my world of other peoples' problems and go home. I bid Charona to please lock up that I was going home to a world of pleasant peace and quite. As I was standing in the doorway, a messenger ran up to me.

"Are you Dr. Gaeston? Dr. MorningGlory Gaeston?" He was breathless.

"Yes, why?"

"I have this package and note for you. It's from Anomen Delryn." He gave me the package then nervously hopped from foot awaiting a stipend of a gratuity.

"Uh, Charona?" She was right behind me with coin in hand.

I opened the note –

"Madam Glory – we have been called to De'Arnise Keep east of the City for a day or so. We should be returning, however, prior to our appointment. I thought you might have an interest in my journal from the period in time we spoke of earlier. I hope it might help you in your labors. Sincerely, Anomen Delryn"

I walked back inside to my office and threw my cloak over my chair. I opened the package and inside was a small book with gold leaf edging. I opened it up to the first page.

"_The Journal of Anomen Delryn_," it began and as I flipped each successive page I saw entries for each successive day. Some long, some short. Each entry was remarkably detailed and written in eloquent prose-like language. Because each entry was so detailed, the book itself covered a fairly short span of time. It looked like that span of time just prior to his becoming aware of his sister, Moira's death. I checked the dates. Yes, I was right. The book ended just prior to Moira's death.

I nonchalantly flipped through the pages. A crack in the book's back binding revealed one particular entry with well-worn, dog-earred pages. I began to read.

_The Journal of Anomen Delryn_

_Day 23, Month of Kythorn, Year of 1369._

_Morningtime -_

_My desire has taken hold of my senses. I must write my dream of Riona last eve in every detail before it evaporates with the mists of this dewy morning. _

_I dream she walks across the field and teases me to run and take her down in the tall wild grass of summer. I chase her and fell her as a hungry lion would a deer. She is my passion's prey and now I will possess her._

_As we are hidden in the tall grass, I slowly remove her garments down to her pure alabaster skin. She is not shy and openly shares her body with me and the mid-morning sun. She taunts me with the brush of her hand against my hardened manhood and bids me to shed my tunic. It falls away with the rest of the needless clothing. The soft warm wind rustles the tall slender threads extending beyond our soft bed of green. _

_I lie beside her, indulging my senses in her body. I gaze upon her beauty. Her brilliant red hair is fanned out upon the long green ferns beneath her and frames her beautiful face. She says nothing but her eyes look up at me, amber and gold smoldering with a desire for fulfillment. Her breasts gently heave with a quickened breath and her nipples are firm and flushed with excitement begging my attention. She moans softly and closes her eyes as I bend my head and take one in my mouth to caress it lovingly with my tongue. She pulls my mouth hard against her. My hand cups the curve of her firm derriere, the muscles now taunt with longing. My lips move to meet her lips and I kiss her passionately. She welcomes me hungrily. _

_My need grows greater and more dire. _

_My hand trembles as I move to caress her thighs. They quiver and separate at my touch. The insides of her long graceful legs are like velvet under my fingers. I question my worthiness to touch such perfection. She gently takes my hand and moves it to her most secret of places. Her inner sanctum is silky and wet and warm and beckons me to explore her. Soft rolling moans escape her throat and her body moves ever so slightly against my hand, her very being caught in this moment of intimate touch. She grasps my burgeoning staff and wraps her delicate fingers around me. Her undulating, articulate touch is unbearable, but I pray she does not stop._

_I bend and kiss the soft part of her shoulder that joins her neck. She briefly shudders and involuntarily clinches her fingers still around me. I gasp with painful pleasure. _

"_I can wait no more, Anomen," she whispers in my ear. "I can stand this torture no longer…. Take me, fill me, make us one." She is breathless, she is ready._

_I gently swing my body atop her as she prepares to take me to her. I slowly begin to press myself inside her. Her body's tender fluids greet me anxiously and her desire is so great that she arches her body against me that she might take me in one thrust. _

_We begin to move together in a syncopated rhythm, our dance in concert. Faint throaty sounds come with each movement. I look down at her closed eyes and see the exquisite anguish of long-denied pleasure fill her face. I kiss her. The soft moans rise up and blend with the cicadaes and the wind's whistling through the grass. I close my eyes lost in this symphony of being with this woman I love._

_Time seems to slow then stop. I lose myself in the feel of her body rising to me and taking me into her again and again and again. _

_The need to release the many months of longing and desire overwhelms me. My thrusts become faster and harder, each one burning more sharply at the edge of my mind. I begin to sweat, but I do not know it. My heart is pounding but I do not feel it. Our sweat mingles and her moans become small cries as her body begins to writhe against mine. My mind is spinning. There is no world, there is no sun. There is no yesterday, there is no today. There is only this moment of us, as we are entrenched in love's primal dance of the spheres. It is the Bliss of The Gods in action and I am losing control of my senses._

_By what must be the Gods' own hands, I am suddenly lifted up into a realm I never knew could exist between a man and a woman. The realm where lovers are suddenly one…One… ONE._

_Her fingers claw into my back as her body lifts to meet mine in a great cry of erotic exhilaration. Roiling shudders consume her as she gasps for breath and strains to pull all of me into her. My head is spinning, my heart is racing, and my breath comes in rapid gasps. I am overtaken by uncontrollable release. I clinch my jaw and I grasp her hips tightly to me and as she is caught in the troughs of her own quaking passion, my body erupts and I give her all that I am in one climactic thrust. A long breathless wail unknowingly rises from deep inside me into the morning air. _

_I can no longer hear the wind. I can no longer hear the cicadae. All disappears but **us** and we are caught up in a swirling ether of oneness. I hold her tightly to me knowing this is our world, our realm. Our bodies, our hearts, and our souls are perfectly melded in it. We have imprinted the universe. We have created our own eternity in but a moment of mortal time._

_A timeless moment passes. Our breathing and our heart-pounding slowly calm. The sound of the wind returns and the chanting of the cicadae resume. I am luxuriating in the calm and satisfaction of lovers fulfilled. I do not want to move from this heavenly creature so rapt beneath me. Her face is filled with divine contentment and her smile is that of a woman who has been with the man she loves._

_Finally I attempt to move my weight from her. She stops me. "No, do not move….," she whispers in my ear. "Stay inside me. I want to feel all of you for as long as I can." _

_And then, I awoke. _

_Nightfall –_

_I was not without some embarrassment this morning when Minsc noticed the condition of my bedroll. 'Visit from a witch deep in the night…Even Boo understands,' he had said quietly and nodded. _

_Long journey on a beautiful day. Nothing eventful. The heat between Riona and I continues to grow. And Riona's eyes cannot lie to me. I can see her want and her passion, just as much as I can feel my own. Oh Gods above, where is this leading? _

By the Gods! I had to remind myself I was a Professional and that the reading of such intimate details – dreamed or otherwise – did not affect me. Actually, I had to repeatedly tell myself that, as I finally left my office and left Anomen's journal in the middle of my desk. It was sheer poetry, but I had this feeling I was encroaching upon a soulful area that could not or should not be shared with an 'outsider.' Riona was the only one that had a right to read this entry.

It was another beautiful day, and I decided to walk back to the Coronet.

I reflected on Anomen's description of his dream. Yes, I wondered if Hendak ever thought of me in that way…………

TO BE CONTINUED.


	6. Chapter VI

THE ANGST AND THE ANALYST

From the Journals and Papers of Dr. MorningGlory Gaeston

(Rated R-17: Adult themes, explicit sex, mild language, mild violence, brief nudity)

CHAPTER VI.

This next two days were filled with rest and relaxation, the first in many weeks. Hendak and I went to the Church of Waukeen north of the City Gates to begin the wedding arrangements.

The Church was in total disarray. Workers were scurrying about at a frantic pace and the sound of hammers and saws rung loudly around us.

"Oh, yes," the acolyte had said as she ushered us to the High Priests' chambers, "Since our Goddess has returned, we have been revitalized with new vigor. We are currently refurbishing the Church and anticipate it will be done by middle Flamerule. It will truly be the most magnificent Church in all of Amn."

The Church's Chief Administrator greeted us at his door.

"Doctor MorningGlory Gaeston and her betrothed, Hendak," the acolyte announced us.

"Yes, yes! Please do come in. I have been expecting you. I am Delbert and I will be assisting you today. May I offer you some tea?" Delbert was short, balding, and his full robes did little to mask his love of food. He escorted us into his receiving office and bid us to be seated across from his large desk.

"Nothing, thank you," I smiled as we sat down.

"Very good, very good," and the nervous little man adjusted his small eyepiece to view the written parchment before him. "I see you are requesting your wedding rites to be performed here at the Church of Waukeen, for….."he paused, "mid-to-end of Flamerule?"

"Yes, that is correct. Of course, that is assuming your renovations will be completed by then."

"Oh, yes, yes.., quite so" he fidgeted and continued to read. He momentarily looked puzzled then removed his eyepiece and looked at us. He scratched his chin. "It seems a special request has already been made by the Seer in Trademeet. Seer Marybeth Fatewatch has sent a special message requesting that we accommodate all of the wants and needs for your nuptials."

Seer Marybeth's direct intervention had caught me completely off-guard. I was at a total loss as to what to say or do with the good Cleric here. I had a sudden need to provide some sort of explanation but I didn't think he would buy "…well, you see, Delbert, your Goddess Waukeen is Hendak's mother and my future mother-in-law. We thought it would nice if we paid her a little respect and got married in her church…"

"Delbert, we have a very special feeling in our hearts for the Goddess Waukeen," I smiled.

"And you, uh, Hendak?" Delbert raised his eyebrows slightly and wrinkled his nose nervously. "Uh, is Hendak your first name or your last name?"

"It's my only name. And, oh, yes. I, uh, enjoy a very special, personal, heartfelt relationship with the Goddess Waukeen," and Hendak shot him his wide smile complete with twinkling eyes. Unconsciously tapping on the edge of his desk, Delbert returned to the scroll.

"As a matter of fact," he continued, "the Seer has requested that the High Rites ofUnion be performed. Most unusual…most unusual…" He appeared most perplexed and the tapping stopped.

"Is that a problem?" I asked not really understanding what he was saying. High Rites, Low Rites, it was all the same to me. You were either married or you weren't. You needed a license, a Priest, and a blessing. Gods, I hoped this wasn't going to get complicated!

"Well, usually, the High Rites of Blessed Life Events are only bestowed on, hmm," he cleared his throat, "our more devout members, you know, patrons and benefactors, if you will. And, quite frankly, I don't even see your names listed on our current membership roster. This is just most irregular and is highly unusual. tsk..tsk..tsk..." The rigid furrows inhis browworried me.

He continued to read the scroll in front of him as he unconsciously tapped in double time with his quill. He finally looked up and his twitching face rekindled a smile.

"Oh well, if that is what Seer Marybeth Fatewatch has asked, then who am I to question her! I shall do all in my power to accommodate her!" He almost giggled. It was resolved.

Hendak and I looked at each other and smiled.

The date was set. Day of 26, Flamerule. It would be the firstunion in the almost 'new' Church of Waukeen. And, as Delbert repeatedly assured us, it would be "glorious."

We spent the balance of the two rest days with a short, overnight trip to a small inn south of the city. When we returned we were pleasantly surprised by a visit from an old friend.

Cernd was sitting at our usual table when we walked into the Coronet. I squealed, dropped my bag, and ran across the room to him. He stood, caught me, and swept me up and around with gleeful laughter. Quite a show of emotion for Cernd. A brotherly hug ensued as Hendak walked up to us laughing.

"You know, Cernd, if I didn't know you, I would have to kill you for being so familiar with my fiancé," and with that the two men laughed and embraced with hearty slaps on the back.

"Ah, Glory, I did hear upon my arrival that best wishes were in order," Cernd smiled as we sat down. "It is about time this man realized how much you two belong together and marry you."

It had been too long since we had seen Cernd. A message now and again, but I had not seen him since he left that night for his Grove. We all began to talk at once, trying desperately to cover the time since our last visit. We ate dinner and Cernd actually toasted us with a glass of wine.

Near the end of dinner Hendak had to attend to a problem in the kitchen and excused himself. Cernd asked me how my practice faired and if his apartment was suiting my needs. It made me think of the music box.

"Oh, Cernd, before I forget it," I began. "When I took over your rooms, I found a beautiful music box," and I described it for him.

"Ah, yes," he smiled in recollection. "The Lady Delryn's music box."

"Cernd, did I hear you correctly? Did you say the Lady Delryn….., as in 'Moirala' Delryn?"

"Yes, Glory," he looked momentarily puzzled. He had surprised me and paused that I might compose myself. To save me asking, he proceeded to tell me about the Lady Delryn's music box. "It is an interesting, but, alas, unfinished story, I fear.

"It was not long before she died… She was always involved in some charitable cause or other noble endeavor, and she had volunteered to assist me with a petition to the Council involving encroachment on a natural marshland south of the City. I, personally, think she had been attempting to atone for her husband's misdeeds for many years. Anyway, we worked on this together for the better part of a year, and in that time I saw her slowly waste away to a mere shadow of what she once was. She was quite ill, but with her young daughter at her side, she pressed on. And without her help, I daresay, the marshland would have been gutted for its resources and laid waste.

"About a ten-day before her death, she came to see me at the Promenade and carried a small pouch with her, which, I thought, was most unusual, as it was not fashionable for ladies to carry simple pouches on their person.

"We sat, engaged in small talk about our recent project, and had some tea. After some time and without saying word she retrieved the pouch and carefully opened it. She then removed the music box and sat it down on the table between us. Even I was struck at how truly magnificent it was.

"'Cernd,' she said, 'we have become friends over this past year and I trust you implicitly.'

"'Yes, Moirala, we are friends and I am honored that you would trust me so,' and I remember touching the frail hand as it lay near lifeless on the table.

"'I have a favor to ask of you Cernd.' She paused, gently stroking the gems encrusting the lid. She looked at it fondly as she spoke. 'My music box is my greatest personal treasure. Not for the gold and gems that adorn it, but because it was a gift from, shall we say, a treasured friend.' She laughed lightly but there was great sadness in her eyes. 'I would like to ask you to attend to its immediate safekeeping, and I ask that you deliver it, upon my demise, per the instructions I will send you shortly. I..I cannot explain now. But it is vitally important that Lord Cor not know of its whereabouts, or of your involvement in providing it safe haven.' Her sadness grew deeper and the faint smile faded.

"I began to protest her thoughts of death, but she stopped me.

"'No, Cernd,' she said. 'It is not my will, but that of the Great Watcher, and I will be called soon to my deserved rest. May I depend upon you? I must have your answer today. It is of vital importance and I do not know how much longer I have.'"

Cernd sighed deeply at the memory.

"Of course, I agreed. But she never returned and she never sent instructions. She died less than a ten-day later. Helm, indeed, must have had great need of her to take so wonderful a spirit from us," he said sadly.

His attention returned to the present, "I had forgotten I had the music box. Not knowing to whom it should be delivered and respecting her wishes that Lord Cor should know nothing of its whereabouts, I simply tucked it away in an old trunk."

I sat in silence for a moment. 'What was so special about this music box?' I thought to myself.

"She mentioned no one?" I asked.

"No, Glory. Her only reference was to the 'treasured friend', but her eyes were as sad as I have ever seen." My thoughts were interrupted by Hendak's return.

We finished our dessert and Cernd begged off to an early rest.

"Oh, Cernd, do you mind if I keep the music box for now?" I asked and didn't even know why.

"Of course I do not mind!" he laughed as he rose from the table. "Whatever you wish, Glory." And he went up the stairs.

"Music box?" Hendak was puzzled.

"Yes, there was a beautiful music box among the things I cleared from his rooms when I first set up my office." I related the story Cernd had just told me.

"So you think you may know something of this box and to whom it was intended?" he asked.

"I'm not sure. I'm not sure…." But I had an idea.

I stood at my desk looking at Anomen Delryn's Journal. He would be arriving in about an hour and I did want to review some of the last entries before his arrival. These would include the days prior to his learning of Moira's death.

I quickly read the entries. No, nothing extraordinary. Just more anguishing over Riona as they were traveling the countryside. After a while I looked up and Delryn stood in my doorway.

"Good morning, Madam Glory. Good morning, Ki. Charona not here today?" he smiled.

"Come in, Anomen," I stood and greeted him. "She will be here in the afternoon. She has classes this morning." Ki said nothing still remembering the perceived slight from the prior visit. Anomen entered my office and closed the inner door.

"Ah, yes, I see," he nodded referring to Charona, and sat comfortably in the overstuffed chair. Chair is victor, I thought to myself. It breaks the heartiest of them.

He then leaned over and placed another journal on my desk.

"Madam Glory," he began, slightly blushing, "I fear I may have sent you a journal that would be of no practical use to you." He cleared his throat. "If I might exchange it for this one – the successive one to that which you hold…"

"Oh yes, Anomen, of course," and I handed him the journal. "I received it so late two days ago and with wedding plans and visitors over the rest days, I have only this morning been able to peruse the last few entries and they do not add to any of the things we have already discussed." He looked somewhat relieved and then relaxed. Private dreams are still private dreams and I felt no guilt in my small deception of letting him believe I possibly overlooked his. No need to embarrass him with my intrusion.

I picked up the other journal and quickly noted the dates. Moira's death would be in here. Yes, this would be the one I needed. It would be interesting to compare his perceptions of immediately after the fact and as he would recall from memory as our sessions progressed.

"I..I have been thinking about what you said, Glory." He was somewhat reticent. "About my father. About him being responsible for his own actions. While we were traveling over the past days, Riona and I talked at great length about it. She..she helped me to understand what you were trying to tell me.

"I…I know you are right. But I have carried these feelings for the greater part of my life. I think it is near impossible to shed myself of this burden I have carried for so long - this burden of guilt that my Mother and my sister endured my Father's wrath because of me," he sighed.

"Anomen, the fact that you can sit here and acknowledge your father's actions are _his_ responsibility is the first step in freeing yourself of that guilt. Do not expect it happen overnight. This is habitual behavior and it will take a great effort to not only break it, but replace it with a different perception based on truth."

"But it still does not belie the fact that I am my Father's son, and that at any moment I could become the monster he was, and is. I cannot reconcile that my heart is not as his heart, that I am not like him and that my soul is as tainted as his. Especially since I have already proven it with what I have done."

I groaned inside. 'Oh, Anomen,' I thought. 'If only I could share what I know with you. If only Sir Ryan Trawl would share the truth with you! The truth might not set you free, but it would help loosen the chains for you.'

"Anomen, do you remember telling me how you recognized and realized Riona as being her own person with her own choices even though she is the daughter of the God of Murder?"

He nodded.

"Do you believe that her parentage is any less influential on her as yours is on you?"

"No, Glory. Her heritage is the most unholy of the unholies, I am wrought to say. But her internal rage is not as mine. Her wrath is deep and can be called at will. I have seen her in her altered state." I didn't know exactly what he meant by 'altered state,' but fear briefly brushed his face and he shuddered. "My anger is different. It is always lying in wait just under the surface, just waiting to strike out and overtake me. It can be fueled by anything and is uncontrollable when unleashed. And it can rule my very essence," he pressed on, " and… and it is this unharnessed rage that has spurred me to such unspeakable acts and caused me to lose my life's dream." He held his face in his hands and shook his head. "With my wrath have I betrayed all the beliefs I hold sacred. By my own hand, and no other, have I condemned my very soul to the depths of the Abyss." I heard a gentle sob.

"Anomen, your anger and your soul are not one. They are not fused together destined to co-exist throughout all of eternity. Your soul is the only constant. Your anger is an emotion that you have created. If you can create it, you can un-create it. But, eventually, you must decide which it is to be. It is your choice and yours alone."

"I no longer have a choice! I have spilled the blood of an innocent!" he cried out in anguish. "A young child whose only crime was she was the daughter of my Father's enemy!"

There was a heavy silence and the air was thick with his emotion. Even Ki subtly ruffled with discomfort. I leaned across my desk.

"As long as you are breathing, Anomen, you have a choice. Now, if I am to help you, you must tell me what happened – from the beginning to the end," I said in a near whisper. Still holding his head in his hands, he nodded then raised his face. A faint damp line streaked down his cheek into his beard. I sat back to listen.

"It… it began when we were camped outside Trademeet on what was our third trip there. We had aided in stopping a maddened Druid in the Grove just north of the city and had returned to our base camp. I was greeted by a messenger who bore me news from my Father of my sister's death. His message bid me return home posthaste. She, this beautiful innocent, had been brutally murdered. There were no details. We immediately packed up and returned to Athkatla." He took a long breath. "I was in a silent, thick fog during the trip home. My wonderful, sweet baby sister was dead and someone had brutally taken the life force from her. As we walked in silence, I re-read the last few letters she had sent to me over and over again, trying to make some sense of her being gone. These letters were all I had left of her. There would never be another one. There would never be another brother-sister laugh over some childhood secret. There would never be another walk in the Gardens hand in hand. There would never be another touch. There would never be Moira, ever again." Another unbidden tear bore the path as before.

"We.. we met with my Father at his estate, and after his usual barrage of insults and other demeaning remarks, he... he told me that my beautiful, wonderful Moira, my sister," his voice choked briefly, "was killed by Saerk the Calimshite, Father's sworn enemy of many years. Saerk was a long-time business rival of Father's, and there was great animosity between them. Father insisted he had perpetrated such an evil deed to finally settle old scores." He paused. "Then, Father.., he…he accused me of not being there to protect her when she needed me most. He put this onerous burden of Moira's death on me. He blamed me."

"Do you think you were responsible for her death, Anomen?" I asked.

"I felt I had done all I could do. I had encouraged her many, many times- _told her _- and I offered her all I had, to leave Father. But she refused. She was stricken with the same sense of 'duty' as was our mother and felt obligated to care for him as he steadily deteriorated from his excessive drink. Had she not been with him, she would not have died. I had given her alternatives and offered my help, but it was her choice. Although I tried many times to explain, I do not know if she understood the risks she was undertaking by merely being in his presence. But being responsible?" He returned to my question. "No, but Father's cruel words struck deeply into old wounds and made me feel ashamed. But I was ashamed that I did not force her to leave _him_ before it was too late.

There was another long pause and I could see he was reliving the confrontation with his father over the death of his sister.

"What did you do next, Anomen," I interrupted his thoughts to bring him back.

"Riona and I stood in my father's house by the urn of my sister's mortal remains and I anguished over what must be done. By the Gods, I was torn! In my mind I was torn between my sacred vows to the Order, and the honor of my sister's memory. But my father had ignited an even greater wrath deep inside me with his words of shame against me, that my heart was possessed by an overpowering will to strike out and take revenge upon the one who had taken Moira's life. As we stood there, I spoke of this, in part, with Riona."

"Did she offer advice?" I asked. He nodded.

"She reminded me of my vows to the Order. And she wisely cautioned me telling me not to let my emotions better my judgment, that it was my responsibility to bring him to justice….but, I had already made my decision without really knowing it. I was given over to my rage and had committed myself to avenging my sister's death. It was a brief moment of perfect clarity. I would bring the killer to _my_ justice. The authorities be damned! Saerk would be sentenced to the fitful, screaming death he deserved as I dismembered him piece by piece into a thousand tiny parts of flesh and bone that would have to be swept up to be collected for the pyre. It would be _Moira's_ justice." He was now clenching his jaw and the knuckles of his hands were white.

"And, Riona? Did she attempt to dissuade you further from this vengeance?" I asked.

"I could see from Riona's eyes she felt it was a terrible mistake, but it made no difference to me. My course was set. She did agree to go with me to confront Saerk at his home in the Bridge District. Perhaps she thought she could curb my rage and thwart my determination before we arrived, and thereby avert such a tragedy."

"Did you ever consider to confer with the Authorities before taking such action?" I asked. "If nothing else, to inquire as to their facts and if there was any corroboration of your father's allegations?"

"No," he was suddenly ashamed. "Had I done so, I do not know if I would have proceeded as I did. Perhaps….perhaps the young Surayah would still be alive. However, I do not know if I would have believed their evidence, as I was so consumed with hatred for this man and, what I believed he had done. And that relentless hatred drove me unmercifully to seek his end. I do not believe the Gods themselves could not have stopped me." His eyes burned.

"What happened when you reached Saerk's?" I asked.

"We surprised him as we had gained secret access through a lower part of the house. It was shortly after the evening meal and he and his children, Yusuf and Surayah, sat in the main room, Surayah playing the harp. We walked unannounced into the room and I confronted him." Again his jaw clenched and he balled his fists into bleach white knuckles.

"Upon discovering it was I, Anomen, son of Lord Cor, Saerk's son Yusuf asked permission to 'kill' me. Saerk willingly granted such, saying he would strike at the old lizard Cor's heart at any opportunity and here was one delivered by the Gods themselves. I took this as an admission of his guilt in Moira's death and directly accused him. He then defiled Moira's memory with vile blasphemies and said her death was what the Delryns deserved. He never once denied my accusation of his complicity in her death.

"I… I….I became a madman." His voice raised an octave and his face became almost as white as his knuckles.

"It was like a dream where I was me, but I wasn't me - I was watching **_me_** from a distance. I saw **_me_** raise my weapon against the innocent little one, his daughter, all the while **_me_** was screaming to Saerk… 'Was Moira any less innocent? Did she beg for her life before you delivered the final blow? You shall pay for your crime in equal measure!'

"The **_I_** from afar was screaming at the **_me_** wielding the mace, **_'NO!'_** But **_me_** was deafened with the ringing ofretribution and no heed was taken. Young Surayah lay dead at my feet, in a pool of blood wrought by my hand." He momentarily closed his eyes, deeply inhaled and let it out slowly.

"I had not a moment to think about what I had done. Saerk called for the guards and all were upon us. We fought. Yusuf fled at his father's bidding, but all else eventually fell to our blades. As for Saerk, I delivered the crushing blow that splintered his skull and sent him wailing into the Abyss. For one fleeting moment I felt dim satisfaction. My sister's slayer had paid with his life and that of his daughter's. Mortal retribution had been swiftly issued.

"With all quiet and the dead strewn around us, I turned to Riona and the others and said, 'It was my decision alone. It is done and I want to hear no reprisements.' And with that we left." He stretched open his hands and again momentarily closed his eyes inhaling deeply. A drop of blood fell from his left hand onto the floor. The ferocity of his clinched fists had undoubtedly caused his fingers to draw blood from his palms. He did not notice.

"Tell me, where you went after you left Saerk's?" I asked.

"We returned to my father's," he replied. "He expressed great joy that the family honor and fortune was restored. Although it seemed his main concern was more for the 'fortune' and said nothing of avenging Moira's honor." He paused. "He..he did invite me to return home and stay with him, however."

"Did you consider his invitation?"

"Just briefly. I.. I… I had always wanted, and dreamed of, my father's acceptance and after all these years, here it was being offered to me – but I couldn't accept because of my commitment to Riona. Had I not been so obsessed with her and my dedication to her quest, I might have stayed with him." There was a brief sadness in his voice.

"Anomen, you do think that would have been seriously viable?" I asked.

"No. Regardless of his later reactions when the truth came out, I know he was simply looking for a replacement for Moira and the care that she gave to him. It was not an invitation to me, his son, his beloved family. It was an invitation of simple convenience to someone else who could serve as his caregiver and victim."

"Anomen, what happened when the reality of these deaths began to sink in?"

"It..it began a few days later. The realization and consequent guilt had slowly started to grow from the moment we had left my father's house. We decided on a short trip to Umar Hills. The members of the party, other than Riona, had, more or less, avoided me since leaving Athkatla. It was unclear whether they were giving me room to clear my mind or that they had their own grievances with what I - we - had done.

"The taste of bitter vetch had begun to fill my mouth. We had camped for the night and Riona and I were sitting on the bank of a nearby stream soaking our tired feet. I confessed to her that family honor, or not, I was beginning to feel guilt from my vengeful acts. That this thing I had done was maybe not the right thing and that by killing Saerk, and especially his daughter, I had perpetrated a most heinous crime. I…I felt I had betrayed the tenets of the Order and had turned my back on my sacred vows. I wondered aloud if I had even betrayed myself." He looked down. "I don't know if I was looking for reassurance from her that I had done the right thing or I was simply trying to appease my own conscience. Deep down inside I knew it was wrong." He looked up. "Yet she did try to reassure me, but as I listened to her words, I was suddenly awash in the sinking feelings of despair brought about by the consequences of my wrath. I had condemned myself with my own words as I sat talking to her. The realization then suddenly hit me. 'By the Gods, what have I done!' I thought. 'I willingly relinquished myself to this poisonous, vile madness and I have turned into the monster that is my father - that which I have hated more than anything else in this life, I have become!'

"As days went on, I was cursed with dreams of Surayah's face haunting me, the color drained from her face, the look of death and terror in her eyes. Riona took to placing her bedroll close to mine and would awaken me from my night terrors, wipe the sweat from my brow with a damp cloth, and try to soothe me back to sleep. With time, the dreams lessened, but Riona still kept watch during fitful sleeps. She was my savior." A faint smile traced his lips.

We talked more of his father's machinations and I again reminded him that if he was going to be responsible for his own actions, he was also going to have to be responsible for his own belief, or disbelief, that he was like his father. Like Riona, he, too, had a choice, and that giving in to what one believed was the inevitable was usually choosing the opposite of what one really wanted.

"Anomen, I would really like to read your journal before we continue and I think we may be at a good point where we can pick up next time," I said gently, realizing we had seriously exceeded our time for this day. "Can you return in three days, again mid-morning?"

"Of course, Glory." He stood and stretched. He briefly noticed the small fresh wounds on the palms of his hands. They were instantly gone. "It feels good to get these things out in the open and talk about them. Riona is wonderful but there are times she is vexed with her own problems and I wish not to burden her with my petty problems from the past."

"I am sure Riona does not think of these things as 'petty,' Anomen. She apparently loves you very much to have stood by you through all of this," I smiled at him. "You are a fortunate man, Anomen. You should thank the Gods. _And_ her."

It was getting on into the afternoon and Charona was busying herself with the voluminous papers that seemed to grow on her desk. I couldn't decide whether to work on Anomen's material or wait until the morning. He was so intense and forthcoming, it was difficult for me to physically sit with him, and then later transcribe with Ki, all in the same day. It drained me so.

I had two more patients this day, but not until later. Lord Leslie was going to finally make an appearance, and a new referral. I then remembered the music box and decided, since I had time, I would examine it a little closer.

I had not looked at it since I had rearranged my office several months earlier and had moved it to a drawer in one of my new bookcases. I unlocked the bottom drawer and there it was in all its splendor. I put it on my desk and sat down to examine it. It was slightly oval in shape and actually a bit large for a music box and I looked it over thoroughly. I decided to wind the turnkey and listen to the music it played.

The tune was like a lullaby, sweet and melodious, although I did not recognize it. However, there was one note that was decidedly 'off.' That seemed very odd, I thought as the lower-range note consistently registered with a flat 'pong' sound. I finally found the little lever on the side and turned it off and moved it to the edge of my desk. Yes, that was exactly where I wanted it to be tomorrow morning when Sir Ryan arrived. If my hunch was correct, he had given the music box to the Lady Delryn many years ago. Perhaps he could shed some light on its immediate importance to her just prior to her death. In any case I would find out on the 'morrow. Now it was time to make ready for the remainder of the afternoon.

"Charona, would you like to share a carriage home? It looks like a spring storm coming up," I called back over my shoulder as I looked out my window at the gathering clouds over the edge of the Promenade. My last appointment was gone and I was ready to close up and call an end to the workday.

"Oh, yes, Mistress," she replied. "I would be ready when you are."

"Very well, then. You call the carriage and I will give Ki his dinner. I will meet you in front."

The clouds had gathered and it stormed that night. I was happy to be snug and warm with Hendak safely within the confines of the Coronet. I had always been frightened of storms as a child and was still uneasy as an adult. Hendak found it all too amusing that here I was, trained to help people vanquish their fears but I couldn't seem to deal with a few bolts of lightening and claps of thunder. I thought he was too amused and I found nothing humorous at all in his gentle teasing.

The next morning dawned clear and bright and the sweet smell of the spring rain still lingered. It was a joyful walk to the Promenade.

"Precisely on time, Sir Ryan," I greeted him as Charona escorted him into my inner office. "Might I indulge you in some morning tea?"

"That, dear Madam, would be delightful," and he bent and kissed my hand. I smiled and then prayed chivalry would never go out of fashion.

"Charona, if you would be so kind to get us a pot of tea, please?" I nodded.

"Yes, Mistress, right away. Sir Ryan do you take honey? Or cream?"

"A little honey would be perfect, young miss," he smiled and nodded his head. Charona dipped an impromptu curtsy to the Knight, smiled and closed the door.

"Do sit down, Sir Ryan," and I motioned to the chair. I watched as he neared the desk to take his seat. His eyes were immediately drawn to the music box. He looked up at me and then down again at the box. He stopped next to it.

"Madam, if I might…"

I interrupted him. "Please do, Sir Ryan. I was hoping you might recognize it."

"Oh yes, Madam Glory. It has been many, many years, but I do, indeed recognize it." He picked it up and held it gently in his hands. With a cracked voice he spoke, "I gave this to Moirala before the birth of our son, Anomen, that it would soothe him to sleep at night as I would be unable." He sat down still holding the box gazing intently at it. "This is the first I have seen of it since."

Charona knocked gently at the door, entered and delivered the tea.

"Sir Ryan, let me explain how I came into possession of the Lady Moirala's music box." And as I filled our cups from the steaming teapot, I began to tell Cernd's story to Sir Ryan.

"Do you think you were the designated 'recipient' of the box?" I asked him.

"Madam, I would doubt it. At the time of Lady Moirala's passing, I was wed to Nora, and although my Lady and I did speak in private about Anomen on occasion, there was no other contact, other than various social functions. I did not even know she was so gravely ill at the time of her passing. But I am sure there was a very good reason she did not want Lord Cor to have it, as she did nothing without a purpose. Reason dictates we must but find that purpose."

We continued sipping our tea and debating the box.

"Where did you get the box, Sir Ryan? If I may ask." I was very curious.

"It was a gift from a grateful patron of Helm for a favor I had extended and it was about the time of the little one's birth. The patron said he had gotten it from a roving band of genies far south of Trademeet. Cost him a fair amount of coin, I quite well imagine. But for all its regal beauty, it played the most beautiful lullaby. Perfect for small ones sleeping, I had imagined." He smiled. "I gave it Moirala upon one of her visits to the Church about two months before little Anomen made his advent into the world." He didn't seem to want to share any more immediate detail.

He took the box, wound the key and turned on the switch. As before, it played a lovely lullaby until the low note on the register. "Pong." The song continued until the next time the note sounded. "Pong." He gave me a puzzled look and turned off the switch.

"It sounds like something is amiss, Madam," he said. He turned it over and inspected the bottom frame then tapped lightly from the edge to the center. "Madam, would you happen to have an 'knock' scroll about? There is the sound of hollowness here that invites our investigation. I am thinking there might well be a compartment of some sort." His raised his eyebrows.

I called Charona immediately. No, no 'knock' scrolls in the cabinet.

"Would you run next door and purchase one from 'in the back,' Charona. Tell them just to put on my bill."

"Yes, Mistress," and she was out the door and returned in no time.

"Charona, you are gifted at doing this, if you will please do the honors…." And with that she chanted the spell from the scroll as Sir Ryan held the box upside down. We all watched intently.

The bottom plate of the box glowed briefly as the magical ward released. The grooved bottom slowly slid open revealing a small open compartment conjoining the musical workings of the box. There were two pieces of parchment tightly scrolled and tied with pink silk ribbon. An errant thread from the frayed end of one of the pink ribbons was lightly tangled on the lower register of the box's musical tines. I gently pulled it free.

"Pong," I said.

"Pong," he nodded.

Charona quietly backed out of the room closing the door. Sir Ryan and I looked at each other and he handed me the box.

"Madam, I think you should review the scrolls. Right now I think I need to sit down and regain my composure." And with that he unceremoniously fell into the chair. I moved around to my own chair and gingerly seated myself. I put the box on my desk and Sir Ryan stared at me with glazed eyes and mild shock written on his face.

"Sir Ryan, can I offer you a minor restoration or a potion before I open these?"

"No, Madam Glory, I will be fine once I hear what is in the scrolls," he whispered and nodded to the task at hand.

I removed one and then the other. I carefully untied the pink ribbon on the first and carefully unrolled the beginning. I read aloud, "My darling Ryan – " I stopped and looked at him. "Sir Ryan?"

"Please….please read the other," he whispered and waved his hand. I nodded and set down the scroll addressed to him. I extracted the other one and proceeded to untie the ribbon. I unfurled it from the top.

"My darling son, Anomen…" It began.

The handwriting was fine and delicate. Most assuredly that of a 'Lady.' The Lady Moirala Delryn to be precise.

TO BE CONTINUED……….


	7. Chapter VII

THE ANGST AND THE ANALYST

From the Journals and Papers of Dr. MorningGlory Gaeston

(Rated R-17: Adult themes,mild language, mild violence, brief nudity)

CHAPTER VII.

I stopped and looked up from the second scroll. The implications were enormous. My mind quickly reverted to the possible scenarios as they related to my obligations to both men. Here I was in possession of an item that contained two separate, private communications from a pivotal person in both of their lives. The person who had originated the communications was now deceased. Above all else, both men's well-being was tantamount to me. But this was a quandary. What was my individual obligation to each of the intended recipients? There were so many unanswered questions and at this point no one knew what these letters contained. I prayed it wasn't information so catastrophic as to devastate either of the two.

No need to panic, I told myself. I had to take it one step at a time. Sir Ryan was here at present and I would deal with Sir Ryan's situation first.

"Sir Ryan, the second scroll is specifically addressed to Anomen. I have to deem it a private communication, even under these circumstances," I explained. He sat before me motionless in a near catatonic state.

"Sir Ryan?"

"Yes, Glory," he whispered hoarsely. "Perhaps we should read my letter first. Maybe it will clarify her purpose and you can then proceed according to your conscience and the ethics of your profession." Being a Knight, I knew he would understand.

"Sir Ryan, would you like a few moments to read it in private, or would you like to perhaps take it with you that you might read it in more comfortable surroundings? It is your letter and you do not have to share it with me unless you choose to do so." I wanted him to know the letter was his alone but I was here if he needed me.

"Glory," he began, his voice still in a broken whisper, "in all my years of being a Knight, I have met every battle and skirmish without fear, face-front, head-on, and with my weapon drawn. Why is it that a letter from so many years ago from a small woman who couldn't wield a garden hoe leave me so debilitated and frightened? Why am I filled with such mortal dread as I face a small parchment filled with nothing more than words?" It was almost a rhetorical question but I felt I must answer.

"Sir Ryan, the quill is a mighty weapon. It can free us from our shakels or enslave us in a prison from which we can never escape. I understand your fear, but perhaps this letter will provide you with answers you need and help put to rest some of the tangled feelings from long ago."

He slowly nodded. "Then, Glory, would you please do the honor of reading it aloud that we might both know? I fear I have not the strength to even hold the parchment, and I may require your wise counsel at the note's conclusion."

"Of course. But, Sir Ryan, if at anytime you wish me to pause, or if you begin to feel the need to discontinue, please tell me. This note has been sequestered for many years and it is not necessary that the entire of its contents be consumed in a few minutes."

"I must be on with it Glory. My Moirala, wishes to speak to me," and he again nodded and waved his hand. "Let us be about the task."

I nodded and picked up the scroll addressed to Sir Ryan. I began aloud.

_"My Dearest Ryan,_

_"Death is a strange thing, dearest Ryan. It requires us to assess our lives and accept our mistakes, yet it bids us to make amends with those we love and ask for their forgiveness for both the small, and large, injustices we may have wittingly, or foolishly, perpetrated upon them._

_"My time has come as I hear the echoes of the Great Watcher calling me, and I now seek your forgiveness and beg your indulgence that I might put our hearts at ease after all this time. I also ask that you allow me to thank you for giving to me one of the brightest blessings in my life, our son._

_"When I first met you, you greeted me with the boldness and openness of Helm. In my mind's eye, I can still see your flashing eyes and your smile as if it were yesterday. You may not realize it, but you captured my heart by the snare of your very being. I think I fell in love with you at that very moment of our first meeting,_

_"To this love, we bore a son. And he is a wonderful son, so much like you – kind, loving, and compassionate. But I was very foolish, and I gave our treasure over to someone unfit of such a legacy. Had I been wiser, and not so filled with the ignorance of youth, and my arrogant honor of duty to my family, I would have gone with you when you begged me. I have regretted many times over that I did not. I chose instead to stay here in a life, and with a man, I loathed and despised. It was my 'duty,' and to that end, I fulfilled my obligation and was successful, but to the honor of my deep, abiding love for you and our child, I was a dismal and shameful failure. I shall never be able to atone for my blindness._

_"Now I am going to ask you to remedy as much as possible the tragedy I have brought upon our Anomen. He is approaching his manhood rapidly and he has no one outside the good Priests and Clerics at the Academy to pattern himself after. I would beseech you to step forward and be as much of a father to him as you can. I know your duties call you elsewhere for long periods of time, but I will rest better just knowing you will be quietly watching and guiding him. When the time comes, I wish for you to arrange for his inclusion in the Order, that he might follow in your righteous footsteps and one day earn his full place beside you. But first, upon his graduation from the Academy, I wish you to deliver to him the other scroll that is secreted with this one. You may read it prior to giving it to him, if you wish. Be forewarned, as it explains to him that you are, indeed, his father, and he need not feel shame of his conception because our feelings for one another were pure and he was born of that purity. I have also asked for his forgiveness that I so wrongfully kept him from you for my own foolish reasons. He needs to know his real father is kind, loving, and was the only true love of his mother's life._

_"I hope that within your heart you can find forgiveness for me and my betrayal to you, my darling, my love. And I also hope that someday you can forgive my betrayal to our son. If I could go back and change it, I would. My anguished sorrow pains me justly, but please know my darling, you are the only one who has ever been in my heart, and that even beyond my dying breath, there you shall remain forevermore._

_"With love eternal, Moirala."_

The name 'Moirala' bore the aged stain of a teardrop. I put the scroll aside.

"Sir Ryan?" I looked up into a face of silent tears. He did nothing to wipe them away, seemingly caught in both memory and the words he had just heard me read. I did not press him.

"Thank you, Glory," he finally said and removed a handkerchief from his tunic. His tipped his headand his eyes looked upward, "And, Moirala," he whispered, "I do forgive you and I will set things right, my love. On my oath, I will set things right for you, me, and our son." He returned his attention to me, his features instantly filled with a look of new resolve. He was a Knight and a very, very strong one.

"Sir Ryan. There is the issue of Anomen's letter. Moirala's letter gives you, shall we say, 'dominion' over it. What do you wish to do?" I asked.

"Glory, without betraying any confidence, or discussing Anomen's case, can you tell me if, in your opinion, the letter will help Anomen?"

"Yes," I said without hesitation. "It will not be without great emotional upheaval for both you and him, but in answer to your question, yes. Most definitely, and ultimately, yes."

"Then, my dear young lady, that is what we are going to do. We shall fulfill my Lady's dying wish and I, with your help, will set things to right." His jaw was fixed and determination had replaced sadness.

"I will try to guide the both of you as well I can, Sir Ryan, but you may wish to consult more experienced counsel. This will not be an easy ordeal in any case," I said.

"No, Glory, I trust you and I have faith in both your ability and your instincts. We shall proceed together. Now, what shall our next step be?"

"Do you wish to read the other letter?" I asked.

"I believe it is the sacred final word from his dear Mother to Anomen and it should be for him alone and I do not wish to violate it," he said with a curt nod.

"Very well. Then we are agreed that it will remain for him as it is," I replied and picked up Anomen's letter and began to replace the ribbon around it. "As for our next step, Sir Ryan, I will need a few more sessions with Anomen to address some separate issues with him, and also to try to prepare him for this revelation as best I can."

"Yes, Glory, I shall respect your judgment as to the appropriate timetable."

"Now, let us return to you, Sir Ryan –." He interrupted me.

"Glory, before you even ask….," he paused searching for the words. "I am feeling 'relieved.' I feel the weight of ten thousand stone has been lifted from me. Knowing that my Moirala loved me even as I loved her has freed me in ways I cannot explain and I am filled with the purpose she set forth in her letter. The mere thought that the truth can, and will, finally be revealed puts my heart at ease. And now that I have her permission, perhaps I can regain my son." He smiled. Once again I was looking at a handsome Knight of the Order of the Radiant Heart. I picked up his letter and the attendant pink ribbon and handed it to him.

"Sir Ryan, I believe this is yours," I said and smiled at him. I was happy that these words from so long ago gave him peace and purpose. He deserved it.

"Glory, I thank you for this wonderful treasure," and he gently took the words from long ago and held them close to his chest.

"I believe, Sir Ryan, that your thanks is somewhat misplaced. I was only a tool. Perhaps your Great Watcher has placed this in your hands after so many years of faithful and dutiful service to Him." He nodded and smiled as he looked down at his letter then tucked it safely into his tunic.

"Perhaps He has. We cannot always know how the Deities work among us mortals."

We talked a few minutes more and he related other fond memories from his time with Moirala. He was invigorated once again.

Our time soon expired and as I walked him to the outer office, he said, "By the way, I don't know if your father has told you, but he has asked me to stand with him at your wedding. I sincerely hope your are pleased with his selection," and he smiled.

"Oh yes, Sir Ryan, I am most pleased and most honored you will be standing with him. It will be a pleasure to have you inour ritual!"

I was very happy and relieved with Father's selection. The Standing Man at aunion ritualwas in charge of seeing to the Father of the Bride's needs. In this case, it meant that Sir Ryan would make sure Father did not make a fool out of himself with too much drink, and there would be no unsolicited outbursts in the middle of the 'I will.' Yes, Sir Ryan would insure Father did not insult Hendak before we even left the altar! As I thought about it, maybe I should have asked Sir Ryan to bring a few extra Knights from the Order for possible assistance. An emotional, out-of-control wizard could be difficult to subdue should the need arise. And if he were into the spirits beforehand, I shuddered to think of the possibilities.

"The look upon your face betrays your thoughts, Glory," He interrupted me and laughed. "You know there is only one Standing Man, but I shall have a few trusty associates in attendance should your father lose his sense of decorum during your solemn rites." He knew Father very well, indeed.

"Thank you, Sir Ryan. You do know Father. A wizard with such a love of frivolity but no tolerance for consumption can be a very daunting charge. Even for the best of the Order."

"How very well I know, dear one, how very well I know. Anyway I owe a debt of gratitude to your father. Saving him from himself would be small repayment by comparison."

I must have looked quite puzzled.

"Did I not mention that it was your father who first introduced me to Lady Moirala at the Church?" And to my surprise he hastily imparted a kiss on my cheek, bid me a fond farewell and left. Yes, we would be in touch.

Charona certainly appeared perplexed and I returned to my office saying nothing.

_Father_ was _there_? Father had great disdain for ALL organized religions. Didn't matter what Deity, he simply dismissed it all as 'claptrap' and never passed the opportunity to expound on his belief of his non-compliance.

'Has any _one_ of the Gods ever done anything for me to deserve my undying dedication and blind allegiance?' he had repeatedly said as I was growing up. Pretty logical for a wizard. But what had he been doing at the Church of Helm and how did he know the Lady Moirala? I made a mental note to ask him later that evening.

Hendak and I were going to dinner at Father's later to discuss the engagement party he was planning, and of course, theritual plans. He did not yet know of our plans to have the 'High Rites of The Blessed Union' of the Church of Waukeen. He was going to have a _fit_ when I told him. Oh well, that would be later tonight and I would deal with it then. I just had to make sure he didn't blame Hendak and retaliate by attempting to turn him into a toad, or something worse. Right now I needed something to eat and prepare for my afternoon patients. It already had been a long morning.

The afternoon was tedious by comparison to Sir Ryan's visit and it was all I could do to keep my attention focused on Lady Tigua and Moskie Duran, respectively. Duran left late and Charona announced no patients were scheduled for the next day. She also reminded me she would be in classes all the next day. That meant I was free to spend the 'morrow on Delryn's transcriptions and prepare for our next session - possibly two sessions. I also needed to review the new journal he had brought to me and I desperately needed some quiet time to contemplate how to handle this letter from Moirala. As to the later, I was hoping for some inner inspiration.

I heard Hendak's voice at the door. "Ready to see Father, my love?" he smiled. "He awaits our presence." Oh yes, Father….

We arrived on time and Drusay, the downstairs steward, greeted us at the door.

"Mistress Glory, Master Hendak, do come in," he said bowing and holding the door wide open for us. "Mistress Glory, your father is having a glass of sherry in the lounge and asks that you both join him in an aperitif before dinner is served."

"Thank you, Drusay," I replied. "We'll see ourselves in." He nodded. Drusay had been with Father since I was a little girl. I had not noticed his graying hair until just now as he slowly ambled off to the kitchen in the opposite direction. We turned and entered the double doors of the lounge where Father was listening contently to a harpist play his favorite piece of music.

"My darling Daughter!" he said with great exuberance and motioned for the music to stop. "And….Hendak!" The enthusiasm was much diminished with greeting my fiancé. "Do come in, do come in! Can I pour you a sherry, my darling?"

"Yes, thank you Father."

"And …Hendak, would you care for one also?" There was almost the sound of clinched teeth.

"No, thank you, Sir." Hendak smiled. He never let Father get to him. 'You have to remember, Glory. I dealt with the Beast Master of the Slave Pit all those years. Your father is a pussycat by comparison,' Hendak had told me.

We sat down and chatted for a few minutes then were summoned to the dining hall by Drusay.

"Well, my Daughter. I have planned the most exquisite party for you, all I need from you is the date that I might have the invitations written and delivered."

"Father, we have set the wedding date for 26th of Flamerule," I explained as Drusay filled my soup dish from the large tureen he carried.

"Yes, Father Tabor, the 26th Day of Flamerule at the Church of Waukeen north of the city," chimed in Hendak.

Oh dear…

I neglected to mention to Hendak that I should break it to Father about the Church thing.

"Yes, we will be joined according to the High Rites of the Blessed Union," Hendak continued proudly.

I vainly tried to find Hendak's leg with my foot under the table that I might get his attention. However, the table was too wide and I was kicking into thin air. I turned slowly to face Father. He was faintly purple as he glared at Hendak. He said nothing.

"The soup is a little hot, Father. Perhaps a sip of water would help," I tried to capture his attention from Hendak before my future husband was sent hopping down the hall croaking.

Father composed himself and took my suggestion of the sip of water. He then pushed his plate away and leaned over to me.

"Is this true, Daughter? Are you partaking of the High Rites of the Blessed Union at the Church of Waukeen?"

"Yes, Father, it is true. We have engaged the Church and its Priests to perform the ritual." There. I had said it but I still stared down into my bowl.

"And you do not plan to be married here at your home in the grand garden?" That had always been my Father's dream. Arm in arm with his little girl, entering upon the stone path through the gardenias with her party of attendants, and being greeted by the most eligible, richest noble in Faerun, his future son-in-law.

I finally looked at him. "Father, we would love to have our reception here if you would grant us that favor." I wanted desperately to get away from the Church thing.

"Oh, well…" he reared back in his chair, "I thought you would want to have a big blow out at the Coronet! You know… all the ale you can drink and all the sausages you can eat. Come one, come all!"

"Father, please…" I gave him my look of little-girl pleading. The silence was almost deafening. I sipped another spoonful of soup.

"And," Hendak added, "You will finally get to meet my mother, Father Tabor."

The hot broth in my mouth immediately and involuntarily projected in a fine spray across the table and managed to mist both Hendak and Father with small bits of barley and partially chewed turnip. I then choked on the remaining droplets that I had sucked down my windpipe.

'_Waukeen was going to be at our wedding!_' was all I could think as numerous hands rushed to slap me across the back to dislodge the fragments supposedly causing me such distress. My throat finally cleared. I looked up at Hendak who had reseated himself and was dabbing at the soup across his face.

"My love," I chose my words carefully. "You did not tell me your mother would be in attendance."

"Oh yes, she wouldn't miss it for the world," and he smiled broadly at me. The twinkle in his eyes bespoke it all. He had known all along. Probably from Seer Marybeth.

"And just when were you going to tell me, dear one?" I asked trying to subdue my tone of major irritation.

"Oh, soon, my love. Very soon," and he continued to smile even more broadly at me.

Father's gaze shifted from me to Hendak and back to me again.

"Hendak's mother?" He was more than puzzled as he, too, was dabbing at droplets of soup and bits of barley with the damp towel delivered by Drusay.

"Yes, Father. We very recently discovered that Hendak's mother is alive and well. We have been in, ah, communication with her." Well it wasn't a lie. And right now Father didn't need to know anymore than that.

"I see….I see…..," Father nodded, still perplexed. I could tell he was not going to press me until we were alone. "Very well, then, we will hold our engagement party a week before the wedding." He turned to Hendak. "I trust your mother can be in attendance for our little soirée?"

"Oh, I believe you will be able to count upon her presence, Father Tabor. As a matter of fact, I think you may well depend upon it." And again Hendak flashed his broad smile. I was going to _kill_ him when we got home.

Father's curiosity about Hendak's mother had suddenly supplanted the rage over the Church ceremony.

"And, Father, the reception? May we hold it here in the hall?" I changed the subject.

"Of course, little one, of course. We will have it in the hall and out into the garden so that your guests may dance under the moonlight," he said and laughed, a better humor returning.

The remainder of dinner was almost cordial. Father had apparently shelved his questions and commentsfor later and we were able to talk about other things. Knowing how he thought, I was sure he felt there was time to change my mind about the Church.

"By the way, Father, you never mentioned you knew Lady Moirala Delryn before she died," I mentioned casually.

"Oh, yes, little one. Had it not been for her, you might not be here." He smiled and hurried to explain. "She introduced me to your Mother. They were very good friends, grew up close to one another as I recall. I think, as a matter of fact, your dear mother was probably Moirala's best friend. She was maybe her only friend after her marriage to Lord Cor and her family moved to Baldurs Gate.

"She, like all of us, was sorely grieved at your mother's death when you were born, and I know she was terribly lonely. In many ways, I felt more sorry for her than I did myself, and I actually took her up to the Church of Helm and introduced her to Ryan Trawl. Of course, he wasn't in the Order then. But she seemed to be missing direction and Lord Cor was such a piggish brute, even then. I just thought Ryan, being the good Cleric he was, would put her to work doing something charitable or whatever, and help her toward more productive ends. We did keep in touch. She was always concerned about you and that you did not have the benefit of a mother. But she became very involved with the Church and our friendship drifted apart. Then Ryan told me some time later she had lost her first child – stillborn, from what he said, and a couple of years later she bore a little boy. Shortly after I lost almost all contact, except for a few social occasions now and again. Rumor had it that Lord Cor had grown even more brutish and more piggish, and not many years later I found myself at the Church of Helm again, but this time, attending her funeral. That's the last time I set foot in a Church." He finished his wine in one large swallow. "Drusay!" he called loudly even though the man stood almost directly behind him.

Father was bidding us goodbye at the door. It was, for the most part, a successful evening. Hendak still had all his limbs and was still in mortal human form.

"Daughter, I shall drop by later in the ten-day for a chat – just to firm up some of the finer details of the party," and he kissed me gingerly on the cheek. Firm up finer details, my foot. He was coming over to see what details he could squeeze from me about Hendak's mother.

"Father, as I have told you before, please check with Charona before you do. You know I cannot just push a patient out the door because you show up," I hugged him.

Then he actually shook Hendak's hand and I thought I saw the glimmer of an honest smile as he bade us goodnight. We boarded the carriage and closed the door.

"Hendak," I said through gritted teeth. "I am going to kill you for springing that little bit of your mother's visit on me in front of Father!" I was almost yelling.

"Oh, my love, please do not be angry with me…" he started kissing my neck. "I thought you would be pleased that Mother would be here for the festivities."

"I _am_….er, I _think_ I am…. But you could have told me beforehand!"

He was not going to let me stay angry. He kissed me and his hand moved quickly up the skirt of my dress and tugged gently at my panties. Within a moment he had wrested them from me and the lacey undergarment lay down around my shoes.

"Hendak!" I started to protest. "This is a public street! And then there is the driver. What about the driver?"

"Aye, but it is dark and you must simply try to subdue those little sounds you tend to make," and he kissed me again and reached to pull the shades on the carriage door windows. "No protestations, my love. I waited patiently all through dinner. It was all I could do not to drop my spoon on the floor. I kept thinking that in my attempt to retrieve it from under the table, I could indulge in my dessert before the main course." Had I not been so aroused from his expert fondling, the mere thought of Hendak delivering such an exquisite orgasm in the presence of my father would have been mortifying. But right now the fantasy was fueling my excitement.

He pulled his trousers down to his feet and gathered my silk skirts into a bundle around my waist. He gently lifted me around to face him and I straddled his lap, my knees comfortably lodged in the soft velvet padding of the carriage seat. The rolling motion of the carriage carried him easily inside me as he snuggly gripped my derrière with his hand.

"Hendak, we'll be home in twenty minutes," I said between short breaths. The uneven cobblestones of the street and the softened suspension of the carriage were working in tandem making a concerted contribution to the experience.

"Don't worry, love," he chuckled and kissed my throat. "I told the driver to take the 'scenic route.' It will be at least an hour and a half before we arrive." He kissed the tops of my breasts and began to unlace the bodice of my dress with his free hand.

I think I hummed all the way to the Promenade the next morning. I would never be able to take another carriage ride again without recalling the memories from last evening. Even remembering everything this morning made me slightly flushed.

"You look positively radiant today, Mistress," Ki said as I fed him his morning meal.

"You have to say that, Ki," I said. "You depend upon me for your succor." I chuckled and gently rubbed his head. I did so love that bird. He crunched noisily at the dish of seeds.

I sat down and pulled out Anomen's files.

"Ki, are you ready to transcribe Delryn's session?" I asked when I heard the crackling subside.

"Yes, Mistress," he replied and we began our interplay of questions and answers of the client. I wrote furiously while infusing my in-session notes with Ki's observations and exact recall.

Just before noon, I was finally able to get to the journal he recently delivered. I read intently.

As I expected, the entries held a sharper edge of 'now' to them. But after reading up and through Moira's death I noticed something decidedly missing from his entries. There were no references to himself as being 'evil,' or 'tainted' as he had so grievously expressed in his sessions. I put the book down and thought about it. I could only conclude that he did not feel or believe this prior to the death of Saerk's young daughter.

He had perpetrated a heinous act totally outside his accepted boundaries of behavior. He HAD to provide himself with a reason, an explanation for it in his own mind. Because he did not recognize the actions to be within that framework of his belief system, he was driven to find an external reason – not to divert responsibility or to allay the guilt, but to give himself a basis to deal with it. At the onset, he had accepted his father's reasoning that this was upholding the 'family honor,' but as evidenced by his later realizations, and once outside of his father's influence, this was not totally acceptable.

Not understanding how his father had manipulated him into the situation, he was then compelled to 'create' an external reason for his actions. Without benefit of logic or rationalization, he both formulated and adopted this belief of being his 'father's son' and assumed all the evil it implied as irrefutable fact. It was his way to accept responsibility for his acts thereby giving him the right to sentence himself to a life of punishment in believing he was everything he had always fought against.

Even reflecting upon his disassociation during the murder would have served as verification of this assumption. The 'good' Anomen – Anomen, high-minded and life dedicated to righteousness, his life of his own making – was watching from a distance and trying to control the 'bad' Anomen – Anomen, son of Cor, evil father's offspring.

The reality was that Anomen had gone to extraordinary lengths to gain his father's acceptance and had given himself over to that end. He had sacrificed everything, and after it was all over, he realized it had been a futile effort.

I picked up the journal again where I had left off. The murders were more explicit on paper than they were in his re-telling. He had taken great care to define these acts in the greatest detail that he would never forget what he had done. I had to force myself to carefully read the entries and then the successive ones.

I finally found the one I was expecting. The 'I am my father's son' entry. According to him, he had carefully examined everything and this was the only conclusion. Done. Fact. Immutable. He was doomed and un-redeemable.

The daily entries became almost abbreviated after that. Even the musings about Riona had substantially diminished. Then came the entry about his notification of his Test. The subsequent two entries covering the two days prior to his Test were filled with great anxiety and laced with the impending feeling of failure. Then the explicit details of his trip to the Great Hall of the Order of the Radiant Heart, his Test, the Judgment, and his expulsion. It was blistering. He had minced few words in relaying the exact details of the events or his attendant bitterness of the ignoble outcome. Strangely, however, he did not dwell upon it in later entries. But the undercurrent of change was evident in the subtlest of ways.

His thoughts and writing again returned to Riona, although, now they were almost bordering on the obsessive. Some of this, it appeared, was brought on by what appeared to be her attempts to initiate a more intimate relationship with him. Then I stumbled upon the entry that would detail the consummation of his obsession. I scanned quickly. No, this entry was not a dream. It was all real.

_The Journal of Anomen Delryn_

_Day 9, Month of Flamerule, Year of 1369_

_Noontime –_

_We have not much further before we reach the outskirts of Trademeet. There we will set up camp before we go to visit the Mayor. He has graciously invited us as guests of honor for a town festival and Riona has accepted. A feast tonight and games tomorrow. It will be a most pleasant interlude from our weary road travel as a bit of revelry would be good for our little group._

_Riona has grown most bold in the past few days. Her looks and her touches have become lingering and most familiar with my person. And the remembrance of her tantalizing kiss bestowed upon me the other evening still feverishly haunts me. Surely she knows her taunting stirs madness deep within me. I have to believe she has made her desires known and I must steel myself with courage and approach her. But my fear is greater than my desire. What if I cannot fulfill this woman that I love? What if I cannot give her the pleasure she so deserves? I have tried to educate myself in the knowledge and techniques of lovemaking, but I am inexperienced and I fear she will find me sorely lacking. I am vexed! Maybe I will ask Minsc as we set up the tents. Perhaps through his worldly and more experienced travels he can cast some light on my dilemma. I suspect that little rodent of his will have something to say, too, no doubt, but at this point, even Boo's suggestions might be worth consideration._

_Mid-afternoon –_

_We have arrived and Minsc and I volunteered to set up camp that the ladies might bathe and rest at the nearby pool to prepare for the evening's festivities. I wouldn't mind washing off some of this grime and stench myself. Perhaps after they return I might sneak away and indulge myself in the cool, refreshing water._

_I hinted to Minsc about how a man might 'approach' a woman – only in general terms - as we went about our labors. _

'_Ohhh, Riona,' he had said. _

_'Is it so obvious?' I asked him._

_'Oh yes…,' he replied nodding. 'Even Boo can see the dance of flame between you and Riona, and if Boo can see the flame from where he sits in my pocket, the flame burns bright. Yes….' The little animal twittered and Minsc had listened intently._

_'Yes, Boo says you must tell her what is in your heart. The words will come in their own way and time, and you will know when. The consummation of the dance of flame will follow as it has for thousands of years for all lovers in love.'_

_Ahg, that little rodent! Am I to take the advise of this furry little beast? _

_Bah! All is futile and I don't care anymore! I am going to go soak away these troubles then go to the festival where I shall gorge myself with roasted meats and hearty ale. Bah! I am going to abandon my silly dreams of Riona to the wind!_

_Bah! Curse you, my love, for what you have done to me! You have reduced me to a prideless, simpering man looking to the advise of a small hairy rodent named Boo!_

_Day 10, Month of Flamerule, Year of 13._

_Morningtime –_

_Agh, I have failed miserably! An accomplished warrior might I be, but as a man enlightened with the real experience of pleasing and satisfying a woman, I am nothing. I must recount my failings lest I should ever think I would ever be worthy in Riona's bed again._

_I was smitten all over again when she had emerged from her tent last evening, red hair flowing with threads of small pearls laced in small braids at the side of her face. She had brought a splendid golden silk dress with a lace-up bodice for the occasion. It was a wonderful departure from the rancorous metal garb of battle we must keep and she was exquisitely radiant._

_At dusk, when all assembled, we covered the short distance into town where we were greeted by the Mayor, himself. We were then led to the town square where the evening's festivities were to take place. Long tables were set up and huge platters of meats and roasted vegetables were beginning to be delivered from the local inn's kitchens. Barrels of ale were being placed at strategic locations throughout the square. A dance floor with festive swinging lanterns had been erected at one end and the musicians were in the midst of arranging themselves. People had already begun to arrive. The Mayor bid us to sit at the head table with him. Frivolity was in the air!_

_The Mayor sat at my Lady's left and I to her right. We ate roasted boar and drank many cups of wine. Throughout the meal she repeatedly placed her hand (unseen from other's peering eyes, I might add) on the inside of my left thigh. At first I thought it was a bit 'familiar,' but dismissed it as simply an unconscious act on her part. But my Lady's boldness told me otherwise. She was slightly grazing my skin with her fingers and was dangerously close of more private areas. _

_Out of desperation and the fear that she venture too far with her attentions, I asked her to dance. She smiled very sweetly and accepted. I led her to the floor on the side of the Square and as we arrived, the musicians were playing a soft lilting melody. I took her into my arms. I knew it was now or never. Fortified with a small amount of drink, my fear was beginning to be dulled into submission. _

_'My Lady,' I whispered in her ear and swallowed hard. 'Might I talk to you as we dance?'_

_'Of course, Anomen,' she purred into my chest and I could feel her breath through my tunic. 'Anything you want, Anomen. Anything.'_

_'Since I failed my Test, my Lady, I have..I have been questioning my worthiness to assist you in the pursuit of your quest.'_

_'Oh, Anomen,' she moaned and nuzzled into my neck. 'Can we not talk of your perceived failures this night?'_

_I tried vainly to ignore her closeness, the smell of sweet honey flowers in her hair. She was more intoxicating than the drink._

'_I..I want you to know that you, and being near you, is the only reason I have stayed. I…I can't bear the thought of not being with you to keep you safe, to protect you.'_

_'I know, Anomen…., I know.' And the music stopped. The dance was over. My heart was in my throat and as we stood there, I could say nothing. My fear had re-emerged with renewed pounding in my chest and stolen my very voice._

_We removed ourselves to our gracious host's table. More wine was called for._

_A while later my Lady arose and announced she was very tired, and if the Mayor would excuse her, she would make her way back to camp to rest for the following day of tournaments. She turned to me._

_'That is, Anomen, if you will honor me with your escort.'_

_'Yes, my Lady,' and I proceeded to accompany her from the table. I fully expected the others to follow, but Minsc, seeing us leave, bid everyone stay for another round of ale and songs that he said thrilled Boo to no end. _

_The moon was full and the air was light and sweetly scented as we walked to our camp in relative quiet. I do not know where my words came from, or the courage to deliver them._

_'My Lady, might I persuade you to come with me somewhere away from here lest our party return? My words are for you alone and no one else's ear.'_

_A curious look filled her face, 'Very well. I will go with you.' We followed the little stream down to the pool. She sat upon a flat rock as I knelt before her holding her hands. _

_'I..I want to talk in earnest of my feelings for you, Riona. My yearning for you is both true and honest. Nothing would make me happier than to please you…and to lay with you tonight.' By the Gods, I had said it! I couldn't believe my own voice! But I didn't stop there. 'I have dreamt about this moment, my lady, and I believe the moment is at hand. Here…in this place. It is up to you to decide if I am worthy of you.' She looked at me smiling but saying nothing. It seemed an eternal silence. 'This is me telling you of my desire and love. I want to listen to your heartbeat and I want you to feel mine.' I put her hand to my chest. 'I want to experience passion, Riona, and I want to experience it with you. Please do not deny me…I do not think I could stand it.'_

_'You are worthy, Anomen Delryn,' she replied. 'And I would be honored to share my bed with you this eve and all eves to come.' She stood and we kissed passionately._

_We returned to camp to find that our party had not yet returned, and we entered her tent. She stood before me in the pale lantern light._

_'My Lady,' I began to stammer, 'I…I…I know, but I do not know.' I felt my face blush with heat._

_' You mean…'_

_'Yes, my Lady, I have read all the forbidden texts and studied them with great enthusiasm, and I have heard various of the Knights speak intimately of their lovers and their wives, but I have…I have never been with a woman.'_

_'Not even a woman of service?' she asked timidly._

_'No, my Lady. I… I couldn't bring myself to touch even one, knowing my Father's lust for them helped to bring about the ruin and shame of my Mother.'_

_'Oh, Anomen, I have no experience, either,' she smiled and threw her arms around my neck. 'I, too, am a virgin, and I was so afraid I would not be able to please you as I was sure you had been pleased before. I was so afraid I would disappoint you! Now my heart is lighter. Come, we will explore and discover love together.'_

_With trembling hands I unlaced the bodice of her dress and pulled it back and down from her shoulders and arms. It softly pooled into a gold cloud around her feet._

_'Do I..do I please you?" she asked shyly as I gazed upon her body before me._

_'Oh yes, my love,' I breathed and reached to touch her arm. I needed to know this was real and she would not evaporate as one of my dreams._

_She stepped to me across her golden pool and gently untied the sash around my tunic._

_'You won't be needing this, I think,' she smiled at me and I let her disrobe me._

_She pressed her body next to mine. I closed my eyes. By the Gods, I wanted to remember this moment for all my life. All I had dreamed of the past many weeks was within my grasp. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her and laid her to the blankets on the floor._

_I wanted to touch her body. I wanted to see her every curve in the soft light. I reached out to touch her tender breast. She recoiled slightly. My touch was heavy and clumsy and I did not know the calluses on my hands could cause such discomfort. What did other warriors filled with battle do?_

_I stretched out beside her and caught her long red tresses under my arm as I attempted to embrace her. She winced and I quickly moved to free her hair from the burden of my arm. I was suddenly afraid to touch her. The knowledge of knowing what to do next suddenly left me. It evaporated from my mind and I suddenly had no recollection of how to begin to please her! _

_'Kiss me, Anomen,' she whispered sensing my panic. And she pulled my lips to hers in a long arduous kiss. My memory slowly began to return in a jumbled heap in my mind. I very gently began to alternately stroke her stomach and her derrière. I did not wish to impose my hardened hands upon her most private parts. I would have to make amends at a later date for my current neglect. That is, once I found out how to remedy the problem._

_'Anomen, is something wrong?' she whispered._

_'No, my love. Nothing is wrong. It is just that I am clumsy and I do not know and I am afraid I am going to hurt you,' I confessed._

_'You will not hurt me. I am ready to give myself to you and I want you to give yourself to me. The rest will all come with time and we will learn together.'_

_'You do know there will be, er.. discomfort here at the beginning,' I began. She put her fingers to my lips to hush me._

_'Yes, I know. And I know that your chatter is merely delaying the inevitable,' and she kissed me again. _

_I spread her thighs and proceeded to slowly enter her. There was the firm, fleshy resistance I had read about and heard so many soldiers laugh about. At the moment, their laughing seemed cruel. This was not funny business. _

_Riona gave a small gasp of pain and I felt her body tighten as the resistance gave way and let me fully take her to me. I very slowly and gently took her to me again and again until the pain was supplanted with an ease of motion between us. _

_There was no dream I ever had that could compare to me being with her. It was warm, it was sweet, it was real. I looked down into her soft gold and amber eyes. I never knew such love existed. _

_'Better?' I asked. She smiled, nodded, and closed her eyes. _

_It seemed like an eternity of bliss but after only a few minutes I was overcome with my own need of fulfillment and emptied myself into her. She pulled my face to hers and kissed me._

_'My love, my love,' she whispered and held my face in her hands watching my face drain of my passion._

_I was spent and I lay as dead weight upon her. She did not complain but gently stroked my back._

_'I am sorry, my love,' I said. 'It..it was not as I had envisioned our first time together. You will never want to share your bed with me again.'_

_'That is not true, my Anomen. We will discover these things together, as it was meant to be. I have faith, Anomen, and so must you,' she whispered._

_Boo was right. The dance of flame would continue and as time goes on, we will find our own ways of pleasing one another._

_I wondered if he has any suggestions for the calluses…. _

I put down the journal. It was good for me to know that Riona was so devoted to him. It was going to hopefully make my task easier. He would be here tomorrow and after we worked though the Test, maybe I would have the opportunity of broaching the 'father's son' fallacy.

I began to make notes on his journal entries and before I knew it, the afternoon had passed. I slipped Anomen's letter from Moirala into my desk drawer and absent-mindedly set the music box back on the edge of my desk. I finished tidying up, fed Ki and readied to leave for the day.

It had been another beautiful spring day. I sensed clouds gathering once again and hurried home to the Coronet. I hoped it wouldn't storm and if it did, I hoped Hendak wouldn't tease me about it.

TO BE CONTINUED…….


	8. Chapter VIII Part 1

The Angst And The Analyst

From the Journals and Papers of Dr. MorningGlory Gaeston

(Rated PG-13: Adult themes, mild language, mild violence)

Chapter VIII - Part 1

As usual, Anomen was right on time. Not a minute early, not a minute late. Charona announced him at my office door and offered freshly brewed tea.

"I would like a cup, please, Charona," I said. "And, you Anomen?"

"No thank you, Glory. Nothing for me," he smiled and seemed pleased to be here.

"Very well, Mistress," and Charona quietly closed the door behind her as she left.

Anomen took the chair and almost wallowed into its comfort. Quite a change from the first time he had entered my office. As usual, his eyes instinctively assessed the perimeter of the office and then settled on the music box at the corner of my desk.

"A good few days since we last met?" I asked, ignoring the immediate light furrows in his brow. He was obviously intrigued with the ornate musical instrument, and his fixed stare indicated recognition of it.

"Very good few days," he nodded, his attention remaining set. "Riona and I took advantage of the time off from the road and went to the sea shore for a brief restoration. She and I had time to discuss at length the things we covered here last session." His eyes did not move from the music box.

Charona knocked and entered with a tray. She had thoughtfully included two cups and a small plate of fresh pastries. 'Just in case,' her face said, as she delivered the refreshments and then quickly left.

"Glory, wherever did you find such an exquisite music box?" he asked leaning forward to examine it closely, but did not touch it.

"It was here when I took over the rooms," I said nonchalantly, still gauging his facial expression. It was slowly becoming more intense from curiosity.

"Do you mind?" he asked as he motioned toward it.

"Not at all. Please do." I motioned an approval as I filled a cup.

He lifted the box with extraordinary care and examined it closely without saying a word. The lines in his face softened and relaxed into nothingness. There was a look of tenderness - near boyishness - to him as the perused every corner of the regal artifact.

"Is there something of particular interest, Anomen?" I prompted him gently.

"Would you mind if I played it?" he asked sheepishly.

"Oh, please do."

He wound the key and tripped the lever. The melody began. And as it played, his face filled with an innocent sweetness of some long-ago time. He closed his eyes and a smile spread the width of his mouth. I did not interrupt his reverie until the box stopped.

"Do you recognize the tune?" I asked.

"Oh yes, Glory. This is the same tune as I listened to when a very small child in my Mother's arms at bedtime. She would rock me as I listened and fell asleep. She would sometimes hum along with the tinkly little sounds and sometimes make up words to go with the music. They were always different and told a story." His face mirrored the sweet blissful memories of the closeness of his mother. He re-examined the box.

"But in all of Faerun, I would have never guessed there would be two, identical music boxes so unique," he said shaking his head.

"What if I told you that I have every reason to believe that is the same music box that you listened to when you were a child," I began not knowing exactly where I was going to go with this. I smiled at him.

He looked at me in both amazement and somewhat disbelief.

"Oh, Glory, 'tis indeed would be a miracle. My..my father claimed all her things were taken or were given away after her death. But how do you know this was hers? How can you be so certain?"

"The box was given to a trusted friend by your Mother for safe keeping just a scant few days before her death. The instruction to her friend was that he not allow Lord Cor to know he had the box or the box's whereabouts. She had promised instruction on the disposition of the box but those instructions were never communicated. It has been in this 'friend's' possession all these years and in keeping with his initial promise to protect it from Lord Cor, he kept it secreted. Until, quite frankly, I happen to stumble upon it and he confided the story in me. I simply thought it might perhaps be something from your early childhood."

"And…this 'friend' of my Mother's –" he began, his tone bearing both curiosity and a slight note of dread.

"Simply that, Anomen," I reassured him. "Just a very trusted friend whose name is not important but kept his word to her all these years."

He accepted this.

"And," I added and smiled. "The music box has now been returned to its rightful owner. It's yours, Anomen."

"It's…it's mine?" he asked rather wide-eyed. "I… I have nothing of my Mother's as remembrance, only memories. Oh, Glory, how can I ever thank you!" He clasped the box close to his chest and gratitude washed across his face

"You can thank your God, Helm, as I think he had more to do with it than anything any one mortal has. I don't believe it was anything less than serendipity bestowed by one of the Deity – whether Helm or others." I replied. "I am just very glad it brings you joy and comfort, Anomen."

He sat for a moment smiling and caressing the box gently. I really did not want to interrupt the solace brought by this memory from his youth, but it was time to be about the other business at hand.

"Anomen, do you want to tell me about your Test?" I began.

He sighed heavily as he allowed me to guide his memory to the more unpleasant recent past.

"We were on the road and it was not long after the dreams of the girl had started to subside. In the back of my mind, I knew my Test was coming soon and I was agonizing over whether I was going to pass or going to fail." He paused. "Riona and I had numerous conversations about it."

"The Test of the Order?" I asked.

"Yes, Glory." He paused a long moment. "It was coming time and before I was even called to the Hall, I knew deep in my heart and soul that I would fail. One could not do as I had done and expect the Order to welcome them into their ranks with open arms." He sighed. "Riona told me I should not agonize or worry so much. What would be, would be and all would work out as it should."

"Anomen, what happened at your test?" I asked gently. I had read the official record, and I had read his journal, but I wanted to hear it in his own words. He smiled a very sad smile.

"I failed - to put it precisely. And not only did I fail my Test, but they exorcized me from the Order, just as they would any demon. I was ordered to leave and never return under threat of death. And as any demon in the midst of righteousness would do, I lashed out at them in my vile and wretched anger. I railed and screamed the most unholy obscenities at them in their sacred hall. And, I proved to them that I was no better than my father when he interrupted my squiring ceremony years before. I confirmed that I was my father's son, a demon seed, and not deserving of a Knighthood in the Order of the Radiant Heart. It says 'Radiant Heart,' I remember telling myself – not black heart." A thin-lipped smile of bitterness and disappointment crossed his face. "Yes, I had saved my family's honor, and, killed an innocent in the process, but at the price of the only dream I ever had. I was forcibly removed from their presence after that – and rightfully so - then set upon their doorstep with the admonishment to never again darken their hallowed Order."

"Why was being a Knight so important to you, Anomen?" I asked. He thought long and hard before he carefully answered me.

"It meant acceptance and respect, and it meant I had achieved a goal after so many years of endeavor," he replied. "I cannot remember ever dreaming of being anything else but a Knight of the Order.

"Once, my Mother brought me to the Great Hall to see the formal Knighting ceremony after a squire had passed his Test. She explained in great detail the trials he had experienced and that his Knighthood was the culmination of all his sacrifices and hard work. It was all so grand, as I remember. Everyone in attendance was dressed in all their finery and it was a very solemn, almost religious, affair. I was very small, however, and I could not see very much from our position in the back of the hall. I encouraged Mother that we should move nearer, to better position ourselves to see the actual ceremony once it began, but she was timid and afraid we might possibly intrude upon the Knight's family and friends. I did glimpse the Knight through the crowd, as he stood at the far end of the hall - he and the others in the ceremony elevated on a stage of some sort." His memory was clear and vivid. "I remember he was almost glowing in his brilliant white garb. What caught my attention was the crimson sash with the Order's gold emblem emblazoned upon it as it lay draped over his shoulder. At that moment he turned to face the crowd, and, strangely enough - for just a brief moment - I thought he was staring straight at me," he paused and smiled to himself. "I knew I was in the presence of greatness, and I felt lifted and honored just being there. Even at that early age.

"Then the actual ceremony began. All in the hall were reverently quiet as the Knight stood before the Prelate and in a voice full of resolve recited his vows to his God, Helm, the God Torm, the witnesses in attendance, and his new Brethren in the Order. The Prelate then presented him with his shield and sword and bade him to go forth and do the good business of the Order. The horns then toned their welcome of his countenance into the group of the Chosen. Cheers and good wishes rang out from every corner of the room. The people were jubilant." He paused again and smiled. "My Mother was so moved by it all, she began to softly weep and she bade us leave for home as not to be embarrassed by such a public display of emotion. I didn't want to go – it was happy and festive - and I pleaded with her that we stay just long enough that I might meet this Knight. I had never met a Knight before. My appeal just seemed to upset her all the more and we quickly left amid a few stares from those standing near us.

"As we were returning home, she told me, 'Anomen, someday I want to see you up there receiving your sword and shield, and your own crimson sash' and she smiled and kissed me." He stopped, again, briefly lost in reliving the memory. He snapped to the present.

"I am just thankful she did not live to see me fail so miserably," he added sadly. "She..she would have been devastated at my performance and I don't know if I could have survived disappointing her."

"Anomen, do you think that being a Knight would have changed how you have approached the many quests you have set about over the past three years? Would you have done anything differently, for example, when you helped Hendak free the slaves and break up the cartel?" I asked. He sat in thought for a moment.

"No, I do not think I would have done anything any differently. Right is right. I believe that human bondage and forced servitude is wrong. The Gods did not mean us to perpetrate such a crime against any person of any race."

"Then I think it begs the question, Anomen, have your beliefs of right and wrong changed because you did not become a Knight? Do you truly live your life any differently than if you were a Knight?"

Again, he thought long and hard. "Probably not. My sense of what is right and what is wrong has not changed. I am not saddled with the pomp and circumstance, but neither do I have… validation, or acceptance."

"Who is the most important person in the world to you?" I decided to slightly veer the direction.

"Riona, of course. I love her and we are to be married at some point in the near future."

"Do you think it matters to her if you are a Knight or not?"

He did not answer immediately.

"She has told me that it matters not to her. That she loves me for me, not for any title I might have."

"Do you, in your heart of hearts believe that is 'validation and acceptance?' Maybe not as the rest of the world sees you, but in the matter of the one you hold most dear?"

"Ye..yes, I suppose it is. But I wanted her to be proud of me and my accomplishments."

"Are you saying she is not proud of you?"

"No, I know she is proud of me." He seemed perplexed at his own admission.

"Did you not consider that she is proud of who you are inside and not for the banner you wear on your chest?"

"I wanted to be her 'Sir Anomen'. I wanted to be _her_ knight."

"And do you not know you already hold that place in her heart? Regardless of what the Order has dictated to the outside world, do you believe in your heart of hearts that you are Riona's knight? Does she not believe in you? Anomen, you have accomplished many good and wonderful things since you failed your test. More than many Knights accomplish within a whole lifetime. But above all else, you are the man she loves and trusts above all else to be pure of heart, to love her, and to be at her side."

He looked at me square on.

"Yes, I believe I am all those things and, I hope, more to her."

"Then let me pose the question to you. Short of the Radiant Order's formal 'validation,' and their Shield, and a cold lonely room at the Hall, what makes you any different in your heart, or deeds, from any of the Knights of the Order, except that you may have accomplished more good in a shorter amount of time?"

He actually smiled.

"I have never in my heart abandoned my vows I made to the Order. I broke them in an uncontrollable rage that they found unforgivable. And I may never be able to forgive myself for the slaughter of that young girl. But, Riona loves me. And she loves me for all that I am, and she accepts me as I am."

"Wouldn't you agree that is a more important validation than that offered by total strangers?" I inquired, almost rhetorically.

He looked at me and blinked. "I… I guess it is, Glory." It was a thoughtful revelation.

Very good, Delryn, I thought. Now we are making progress.

We proceeded to cover more of the aftermath of his Test. The recriminations, the self-doubt, and the eventual acceptance of the Order's decision. It was the painful litany of a defeated dream.

Our time was soon up and Anomen prepared to leave.

"Anomen, would you mind returning in the morning for another session, your schedule permitting, of course." I asked.

"No, that would be fine," he seemed puzzled.

"And, if I may ask another favor. If I might be able to keep the music box until then?" I knew that would really puzzle him, but I had an idea that I prayed was from one of the more benevolent Gods.

"If..if you must," he said.

There is a reason and I assure you no harm will come to it between now and the time you return," I said. "All will be made clear tomorrow. You will just have to trust me."

"Very well," he nodded, still perplexed and slightly reluctant to leave it once again on my desk. "I do trust you, Glory."

Delryn left and the moment I knew he was out of the office and safely out onto the Promenade, I called to Charona.

"Charona, would you mind running next door and getting two knock scrolls and have someone over there write a scroll for a simple magic ward that we can use on the music box?"

Charona appeared at the door.

"Did I hear you correctly, Mistress?"

"Yes, Charona, you did. I am going to return Delryn's letter to the music box and let him 'discover' it on his own." When I heard it with my own ears, even I questioned the sagacity of my snap decision. Without a question, Charona turned and left to procure the spells.

I removed the scroll from my desk drawer. This was going to take real 'musical talent' to accomplish this. I carefully frayed one corner of the pink ribbon and pulled a slender thread free. I prayed that whatever God had seen fit to wrap it around the tine in the first place would guide my mortal hand to duplicate the effort.

Charona returned with the scrolls.

"Charona, open up that thing for me, please," I asked. She turned it over on my desk and proceeded to read the 'knock.' As before, the bottom glowed momentarily and slid open. She watched intently as I performed 'emergency surgery,' and re-inserted the scroll into the cavity. I then took the thread from the frayed end and, as best as I could remember, tucked it around the lower register tine. It finally appeared as it did when Sir Ryan and I first opened it.

"You can now close up the, er, patient, Charona," I nodded all the while offering supplication to almost any God who might be listening. She intoned the incantation and the bottom briefly glowed and slid shut. Sealed. Now for the true test.

I wound the key and flipped the lever.

"Da, da, de, da, da, de, da, da, de, 'pong'," it tuned.

"Pong," we both said in unison. Absolutely perfect. We were prepared for young Delryn to pick up his music box the next morning, but he was going to get more than just a music box. If he proceeded as I hoped, he would have a whole new outlook on his life. What a wonderful gift from a child's musical fantasy.

"Charona, send a message to Sir Ryan. Tell him to be here at quarter past mid-morn tomorrow. Not a minute sooner and not a minute later. He will understand. And in case I forget, when he does arrive tomorrow, keep him in the outer office with you until I come and get him." Now, I REALLY had Charona perplexed.

"But, Mistress, Anomen will be here for his appointment as you requested."

"Yes, Charona, that is exactly right. Oh, and send a messenger to young Delryn and ask him to please bring Riona with him. I would sincerely like to meet her, and I am sure I will be able to use her kind assistance if the need arises."

"Yes, Mistress." Poor Charona. She was perplexed, she was vexed, and she was seriously questioning my sanity in her own mind.

"Well, Moirala, you wanted this all out in the open, and By the Gods, it will be. We will remove your son's belief of a taint from his 'father' once and for all," I whispered to myself. "And, wherever you are, Moirala, and if you are watching this unfold, I pray you to ask Helm and anyone else who might listen, for guidance for me."

To Be Continued…….


	9. Chapter VIII Part 2

The Angst And The Analyst

From the Journals and Papers of Dr. MorningGlory Gaeston

(Rated PG-13: Adult themes, mild language, mild violence)

Chapter VIII – Part 2

A fitful afternoon followed by an even more fitful evening. Hendak was most concerned with my mood. It just wasn't me and I didn't know exactly from where, or what, my anxiety stemmed. I assumed it was the forthcoming revelation slated for the next morning.

"My love, what is wrong? I can see you are troubled and I sense it is not something I have done, or didn't do, but rather work? Can I but lend an ear and help?"

"Oh, if only you could, dear one," I sighed as I pushed the food around on the plate in front of me. I had no appetite either.

"You must tell me. I cannot bear to see you like this and perhaps simply by listening I can help ease your mind."

The stress was beginning to get to me. The thoughts of tomorrow morning nagged at my head and my stomach with most unpleasant consequences. I suddenly found myself on my feet and running for the water closet. The small portion I had eaten had not settled well and was going to quickly make an encore appearance. Not knowing what was happening, Hendak came running after me.

I _hate_ being sick. Next to storms, it is the one thing in the world I hate the most. Well, snakes are pretty high on that list, too. But, being sick always makes me cry. And, as I explained to Hendak as he wiped my mouth with a damp cloth and picked me up to carry me upstairs, I don't know why I cry.

Hendak lovingly undressed me and found an old sleeping gown I had tucked away in the bottom drawer. He held up the simple cotton shift woven with little bear designs.

"It's really quite ugly, but it will make you more comfortable," he chuckled trying to get me to laugh. My stomach hurt and my head hurt and I knew I wasn't finished crying. Laughing was not an option on the current agenda. I was miserable all over as he coaxed me into the sack-like sleeper of giggling bears. Now, not only was I miserable, but looking unfashionably foolish as well. I felt so bad I didn't care.

"Now, I will go downstairs and have Cook make a special tea for you. It will ease your discomfort and then I want you to tell me this story from work." He kissed my forehead and went downstairs.

I just sat there as the tears kept coming in his absence. He returned shortly with a pot of Cook's special brew and poured me a cup.

"Now, relax and tell me," he said as he sat on the side of the bed and soothed my forehead with a damp cloth.

And as I sipped one cup, then two cups, I told him the entire Delryn story complete with Sir Ryan's additions, the music box – the entire story. Intermittently there were bouts of tears.

"You have done, and are doing, all that you can do, my love. Tomorrow will indeed be the telling tale, but I am sure it will be as it should be and it will set right." He wiped the tears from my cheeks. "The Gods do not forsake their loyal and devout followers even if mortals do. And Delryn's actions have spoken loudly as to where his heart truly lives, and it lives with his God. Helm knows, Glory…. Helm knows." He drew me close to him and gently rocked me to and fro until I fell asleep.

It was the middle of the night and I awakened to find myself sitting upright staring off into the shadows. The scent of sweet honey flowers permeated the bedchamber and my giggling bears were soaked in perspiration. Hendak, however, was sleeping peacefully beside me.

"Hendak….Hendak…," I gently rubbed his shoulder to awaken him.

"Hmmm…lights on low…," he mumbled. The room lightly illuminated and he sat up.

I was covered in the same soft sheen of sweat, as he had been several tendays before.

"My love, are you alright?" he sat up and was immediately aware of the sweet honey flowers. He was also immediately concerned when he saw me.

I nodded. "Yes, I am fine… I think I am fine. Hendak, bring me the box with the amulet in it. The one Seer Marybeth gave to me from your Mother."

Puzzled by my request, Hendak stumbled out of bed and retrieved the box from the dresser top. He handed it to me and scrambled back into bed by my side.

I carefully opened the lid to the box and looked at the amulet. It was not the same as Seer Marybeth had delivered.

"Hendak, I think you should prepare yourself," I started as I stared at the amulet.

"Prepare myself for what, my love?" he was more than just concerned now.

"Hendak, you are going to be a Father and I am going to be a Mother." There was no hesitation in my voice. I now knew. The necklace confirmed it.

I turned and showed him the amulet. In place of the two intricately carved runes originally on either side of the diamond, two large emeralds now rested.

"And, other than the miracle of the emeralds in the amulet, how do you know these things?" he asked, totally befuddled.

"Your Mother told me. In a dream where she spoke directly to me. She just wanted to reassure me all would be well, except that we have to move up the wedding, because these babies are going to be born in three months. The god heritage thing. Not a normal nine-month gestation period." I couldn't believe my own voice and what I was saying.

"Babies?" he asked hesitantly.

I nodded again. "Yes, twins," I whispered.

As I sat there in near-shock, a wide smile spread across his face.

"I am going to be a Father? Really? You and I? Parents? Twins? In three months?" The questions were endless and I just sat there shaking my head.

This just wasn't how I had planned it, I thought. But then, when you have a God, er, Goddess, in the family, I guess even the best of planning can go right out the window. I guess three months is better than nine. And three months is better than seven days as was Hendak's gestation. However, I would have liked to have a nice leisurely wedding and then babies on my own timetable. Regardless of whether she had anything to do with it or not, which I didn't know if she did or not, it was too late for those plans.

"Hendak, we have to move the wedding up to two ten-days from now," I said.

"But will the Church –"

"Waukeen assured me the Church would be finished. She is sending Seer Marybeth to oversee the Ritual and the completion of the Church on time. The Church is the very least of our problems." I thought of Father.

"Father Tabor," he said slowly shaking his head. "He will NEVER understand."

"No, he will never understand but he must be told and immediately." I paused. "Now, I will send a messenger tomorrow telling him we are coming to dinner, but you must promise me that you will protect yourself with every magical potion, scroll, and amulet before we arrive. There is no way to tell how he is going to react, but it is a safe bet it won't be well."

"He would never harm the Father of his grandchildren," he laughed in an attempt to make light of what Father might have an inclination to do.

"He might if that Father was not the Husband of his Daughter," I said and immediately my stomach began to churn again. "Do you think your Mother could do something about this stomach thing?" I asked and bounded up and out of bed for the water closet.

"I'll get more tea," he volunteered, as he pulled on his trousers and slippers for a return trip to the kitchen downstairs.

'Well, well, well, had to go and fall in love with the son of a Goddess, huh,' I asked myself the next morning as I lay in bed. I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to move. I just wanted to stay there. I then instinctively rubbed my stomach. Two babies. Two. Then I felt Hendak put his hand over mine. I opened my eyes and he was staring lovingly at me.

"Two babies, Glory, my love," he smiled and propped himself up on one elbow. "Our babies, Glory." He was very, very happy.

The tea was miraculous. I had brought some with me from the Coronet and had Charona make a pot. 'Good for what ails ye,' Cook had said. It was just a few minutes before Delryn was to arrive. I turned my attention to what I wanted to accomplish this morning.

I looked up and Anomen stood in the doorway, all smiles.

"Come in, Anomen. Come in," I greeted him. He stepped in and directly behind him stood Riona.

She was exactly as I expected. His description had been extraordinarily articulate. She was dressed in an elegant silk brocade dress of brown and gold. Her dark copper hair was pulled away from her beautiful face and lightly braided in small braids on each side as it cascaded down her shoulders. She extended a delicate hand with a smile. To imagine that Bhaal could spawn such a beautiful woman was almost unfathomable.

"Glory, I am Riona. And, I have heard many wonderful things about you from Anomen, I feel as if I already know you."

"It is indeed a pleasure, Riona, and I, too, have heard many wonderful things about you from Anomen," and we both laughed.

I liked her immediately and I could tell the feeling was mutual.

"Please, can I pour you some tea? It is a special brew that Hendak keeps at the Coronet just for, er, special occasions."

"Yes, please," they both replied. I motioned for them to sit down. For this morning, I had repositioned the overstuffed chair and Charona and I had moved a companion chair beside it. Anomen graciously offered the comfy one to Riona, but she declined, preferring the smaller one beside it. I began pouring tea as they sat. Anomen reached over and picked up the music box.

"Riona," he said with great excitement, "this is my Mother's music box of which I told you." He wound the key and tripped the lever.

"Da, da, de, da, da, de, da, da, de, 'pong'," it tuned. Anomen looked puzzled.

"It wasn't doing that yesterday," he said, and again it 'ponged.' I tried to look busy as I filled the remaining cup and set it in front of Anomen.

He gently rattled the box. Nothing apparently loose could be divined. Then, just as I suspected he would, he turned it over and very gently thumped from center to edge. A duplicate of Sir Ryan's response. Ah, yes, I thought as I continued to occupy myself with the tea tray.

"Glory, I do believe there might be a secreted compartment here," he said in amazement. "It does have a very suspicious, hollow sound to it." He held it to his ear and gently shook it. "And, I believe I hear something ajar."

"Oh, my," I said with all the mock astonishment I could muster. "Perhaps we should see if it could be opened. We usually keep a knock scroll here for unexpected needs when they arise." I pulled it out of my bottom desk drawer and handed it to Anomen. He turned to Riona.

"Riona, if you would, please?" he asked, almost timidly.

Riona looked thoughtfully as him as she took the scroll and began to chant the script. The bottom of the box briefly glowed and slowly slid to the side. The scroll was revealed.

'Thank you, Helm, and whoever else helped with this,' I said under my breath. Anomen audibly gasped.

"There..there's something here," Anomen said completely wide-eyed and he gently retrieved the tiny letter. In utter shock, he paused then looked at Riona and then to me.

"It's your box, go ahead and open it," I said reassuringly. He nervously yet carefully untied the pink ribbon and opened the scroll.

"It's to me," he said in a near-whisper and he quickly glanced down at the bottom signature. "It's…it's….from my Mother."

"It's to me and it's from my Mother," he repeated hoarsely and tears immediately sprang into his eyes.

Riona said nothing but we exchanged glances. Her eyes told me she was ready for whatever this letter held for him.

He began to read silently to himself. He grew ashen-faced and fell back into the chair never removing his eyes from the parchment. He wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. Riona and I sat waiting for what was to come next.

"It says…it says…that … Sir Ryan Trawl….is my," he choked, "real Father. That Lord Cor is not my father. It explains it all……" The paper fell from his hand onto the floor. Riona picked it up and began to read.

"It…explains…why….Lord Cor….hated….me….so. And….why, and..why… she sent me to Academy. It….explains…..everything. Now…..it……all…..makes sense." His face was flooded with emotion on top of emotion, the least of which was revelation.

"Glory, did…you…know this?" he asked feebly as he sat crumpled in the chair.

"Honestly, Anomen, yes I did, but I could not tell you for many different reasons. I only found out myself the other day. But I can assure you, I had not read the letter addressed to you. You are the first to read that one."

"That one?" his voice was still weak. "Were there more?" Time for total truth.

"Anomen, I must confess that the secret compartment was discovered prior to you seeing the music box yesterday. When I initially opened it, it contained two letters, both scrolled with pink ribbon. One addressed to you, and one addressed to Sir Ryan. As Sir Ryan is also a patient of mine, I was bound by privilege as to what I could tell you from what I learned from him and vice versa. I hope you will forgive me my ruse, but it was the only way I could 'deliver' the letter to you without compromising the client privilege for either of you. As it is, I have done some considerable 'bending' of the rules."

"I…I…understand, Glory," he nodded slowly, still in a state of shock, although his color was slowly returning. "And..Sir Ryan?"

"Again, I cannot divulge anything discussed between Sir Ryan and myself, but I am sure he will be more than willing to speak with you directly about any questions you have. I do think that I can safely say that he loves you very much and always has. But it will mean much more to you hearing it in his own voice," I smiled, got up and walked over and opened the office door. "He just happened to stop by for tea."

"Sir Ryan, would you care to join us in a cup of tea?" I called.

"I would be delighted," he smiled and elegantly approached the door.

Unsure of exactly what he should do, and perhaps instinctively from years of training, Anomen stood immediately at attention.

"Dear boy," Sir Ryan said, "no need to stand at attention. I am your Father, not your Captain!" and he laughed nervously. And then Anomen laughed and began to weep at the same time. Riona said nothing but flashed a broad smile as the scene she was witnessing. And then my stomach started to churn. I barely excused myself from the poignant scene as I immediately ran for the water closet adjacent to the outer office. Riona immediately followed me, leaving the two men in a tearful, long over-due embrace.

"Oh, Glory, are you alright?" She was very concerned. I nodded as I continued to retch into the bowl and the tears came. She grabbed a small towel and dipped it in the water basin. "Oh, my, dear girl," she said. "Morning sickness? It is simply wretched, from what I have been told."

"How..how did you know?" I asked, my head spinning almost in sync with my churning stomach.

"The tea. It's an herbal blend, especially good for all types of stomach ailments. The morning sickness was just a guess. However, the tea doesn't work on everyone, according to Jaheira. A druidess who traveled with us for many years," she explained nodding.

"Twins," I said as something of an explanation. She nodded in sympathy. "In three months…."

"In three months. How is that possible? You don't even have a bulge!"

"Trust me. They will arrive in three months."

"When did you find out?" she looked even more puzzled and confused.

"Last night," and I found my face over the bowl again.

"Do I dare ask how you found out?" she asked.

So in between the bout of tears and a more retching, I told Riona the whole story. I figured if anyone would believe me, she would.

"Okay, I guess we need to get you and Hendak married before your Father loses what little wits he has and does something he and everyone else will regret," she sighed.

"The wedding will be in two ten-days and Waukeen has assured me all at the Church will be prepared. And she is going to be here for the engagement party and through the seven days up to and including the wedding," I added hastily as I felt the next round of retching begin to rise. I wiped at the perspiration on my forehead with the damp towel.

"Riona, I don't have any close female friends, would you consider standing at my union ritual with me as my —" the next round hit before I could finish asking.

"I would be most honored, Glory, most honored. Here, let me go see if Anomen has a healing something-or-other that can help. There must be something he can do. I will be right back," and with that she left me to secure help.

Such an ignoble position I felt myself in – those damnable wizards, my Father included, can cast a spell for moving through the planes with ease, but they can't come up with anything for morning sickness?

Riona appeared almost as suddenly as she had left.

"Here, drink this. Don't worry. It's safe." I downed the potion and immediately felt better. My stomach stopped and my head cleared.

"What was that?" I asked in utter amazement.

"Uh, just a little something Father and Son cooked up at a moment's notice," she said nodding and continued to clean my face with the wet cloth. She then pulled her comb from a small pouch and tidied my hair.

"There! Good as new, little mother-to-be!" and she smiled that radiant smile again.

"Riona, thank you. Thank you ever so much," I began.

"No, Glory, it is I who should be thanking you. You are going to be responsible for giving Anomen back to me, whole and cured. I could never ask for more than that in this lifetime." Then she smiled, "Except someday, I would like to have one of those myself." And she gently patted my stomach. We both giggled and left to return to my office.

I walked in and the two gentlemen had composed themselves. I seated myself at my desk.

"Now," I began, "the next step will be addressing –"

"Glory, are you feeling better?" Anomen couldn't contain himself.

"Oh, yes, Glory, are you quite alright? Do we need to fetch you home or send for Hendak?" Sir Ryan chimed in. I immediately got a sense of where Anomen's natural 'enthusiasm' came from.

"Gentlemen, I assure you that I am very well, indeed, thanks to your improvised concoction."

"Riona told us, Glory, about the babies," Anomen almost blushed.

"Yes, Anomen, there are twins, and in case she did not tell you, they will be arriving in three months."

"Three months!" the men chorused.

"And since you will both be encountering the truth of the matter almost momentarily, allow me to be the one to tell you, first hand. Then when I have done that, we shall return to the business at hand." I knew they meant well, but their concern for the obvious needed to be addressed. I proceeded to tell them the complete story of Hendak, his parentage, Waukeen - the whole mix of it. They both sat open-mouthed while Riona could not contain herself anymore. She started to laugh. Then I started to laugh. We were both in near hysterics and about exactly what we didn't quite know.

"And, Anomen, since I can choose who stands with Hendak, I now choose you. What say ye?" I said after I had regained my composure. I was just anxious to get the whole business of the union ritual over and done with.

"I accept with great honor," he smiled and nodded his head.

"Do not think me ungrateful, but now that we have all of my problems solved, may we continue with the issues facing you, and you?" Content that all was well with me, the men nodded in unison. "Now, if I might ask you, Sir Ryan, and you, Riona, to just give me a few minutes with Anomen in private." They graciously excused themselves to the outer office.

"How do you feel, Anomen? Are you angry?" I asked.

"Oh, no, Glory. I am not sure how I feel, but anger is not among those feelings." He paused. "I am strangely happy. I don't quite know why, but strangely happy. And…and… strangely relieved. The…the shock of it, Glory." He held his mother's letter in his hand. "My Mother explained it all, Glory. And she asked me to forgive her and to seek peace with Sir Ryan, that we could honor her in death. She..she was afraid I would hate both of them for deceiving me."

"You understand, don't you Anomen?"

He nodded slowly. "Yes, I understand, but it will take time for me to absorb all of this."

"It won't be done overnight, Anomen. But I can assure you it will get much better now that the truth has been revealed." I summoned Sir Ryan and Riona from the outer office.

We worked out a schedule for both joint and private sessions over the next month. Not much time to do a whole lot of work. It would be necessary to either refer my other patients or postpone them until then. Sir Ryan and Anomen's relationship integration needed primary focus and it was up to me to help them eliminate any stumbling blocks to that end. It would be challenging, but I sensed a strong ally in Riona and I trusted her instincts implicitly.

When we were finished, it was near noon.

"And not to worry, Glory. I will concoct a supply of the potions so that you can eat without concern of having dire consequences. I will have them sent over momentarily."

Riona and Anomen had to leave shortly thereafter, but Riona was coming the next afternoon that we might put our heads together and strategize the hasty facilitation of the union ritual. Sir Ryan stayed behind.

"Sir Ryan, are you happy with this?" I asked him.

"More than I can ever tell you, Glory. I know we have a long road to travel and it will not be like a father and son who had the long-term benefit of each other, but I feel we can be much more than what I have ever known in my life. And, I pray much more that what young Anomen has ever had in his life." His face was filled with hope.

"Did you read his letter?" I asked him.

"No, I did not ask and he did not offer. I did offer to let him read mine, but he said he felt it was a sacred last word from a woman who loved me very much and he did not want to violate that."

"Sounds familiar, doesn't it," I mused recalling his reaction to my offer of him reading Anomen's letter. He smiled and then laughed at his recollection.

"Oh, by the way, Madam Glory, I must commend you on your, er, subterfuge with re-secreting Anomen's letter. A very good move to allow him to discover it on his own. How did you know?"

"A little luck, Sir Ryan. I felt his reaction would be similar to yours. Maybe not as mature, but my guess was you two are not only genetically linked, but you are linked in spirit and mind as well by virtue of your teachings of Helm and years with the Order."

"Ah, my dear, I guess that is why you sit in that seat and I sit in this one," he sighed. He rose to leave.

"My darling Glory, if I could only tell you what you have done for me this day," and he raised my hand for a farewell kiss. "Twins, eh. Your Father will be most proud."

With the mention of my Father, my stomach started to churn again. I would have to face him later today and I just didn't know how I was going to tell him so that he would believe me. I did have all afternoon to think about it, however.

To Be Continued……….


	10. Chapter IX

**The Angst And The Analyst**

From the Journals and Papers of Dr. MorningGlory Gaeston

Rated R-17: Adult themes, mild language, mild violence, brief nudity

Chapter IX

"YOU'RE WHAT?" Father's booming voice echoed resoundingly through the great house. Had the windows not been reinforced, they would have rattled precipitously in unison.

"Father, please, do not yell. Please sit down and just listen," I calmly coaxed the shaken man to his favorite chair in the lounge and I seated myself on the adjacent footstool. Hendak stood fidgeting near the doorway, fully prepared for any magical retribution Father might send his way once shock subsided and genuine anger settled in.

"Father, I am pregnant," I repeated, "Or, rather, Hendak and I are pregnant. And the expected date of arrival is approximately three months from now." He sat and stared at me, still in a quasi state of disbelief, shock, and bewilderment.

I had decided beforehand that I was going to operate on the need-to-know basis with Father. Right now if I told him it was twins, he would want to know how I knew, and it was just not time to tell him. And the news about who the paternal grandmother was.. Well, it was just going to have to wait, also.

He opened his mouth to speak, but I interrupted him before he began.

"Father, we have moved the wedding up to two ten-days from now. So, I am asking that all the beautiful and wonderful arrangements you have made for both the engagement party and the reception be moved up as well. Would that be possible?"

Still absorbing my announcement, he sat staring at me. "Three months from now? I'm going to be a Grandfather three months from now?" He looked as someone just recovering from a spell of confusion. The color began to return to his face. "When did you find out, Glory? You...you don't even look like you could be with child at all, much less so close to term. Are you sure?"

"Yes, Father, I am sure," I nodded as I picked up his hands and squeezed them.

"When did you find out? Were you keeping this from me? Why were you keeping this from me?" His face showed he was hurt at the possibility.

"No, Father, I only found out the other day and I have not been keeping this from you, I assure you. This is the first opportunity we have had to tell you."

"But how could you have not known before now?" he asked, his shock now subsiding, but his confusion growing exponentially. "After all, as part of your training, you know medical aspects. The physiology of all of this, Glory… You know all of this. How could this have escaped you for so long?"

"Its..its just one of those rare anomalies, Father," I replied. "They are very uncommon, but they do exist." Well, that wasn't a lie. It was rare and it was an anomaly. And I didn't really want to just unload the whole truth on him at once. His own personal physician and healer, Dr. Bey, had cautioned many months before that his heart might not be as young as it once was.

"And, Father Tabor – " Hendak began but was cut short before he could continue.

"QUIET!" Father's ire flared instantly and he glared at him.

"Father, do not yell at Hendak. Think of your grandchild. Think of me." I paused a long moment. "This is a very happy time for me. And I want you to share it with me, with us, as you have been there to share all the other happy times in my life."

"But, Glory, this is such a shock. It is so much to take in such a short span of time." He was starting to appear somewhat calmed. "First, you become engaged to Hendak less than two ten-days ago, then you make plans for a union ritual in a Church and forsake your home for the ritual, then you tell me we're moving the wedding up because you are with child before you even have benefit of the ritual of union." He threw up his hands. "Not that I care what the raving public thinks or says, but, by the Gods, it is a lot for a father to take in a very short period of time."

"Yes, Father, I know." I looked at him, wanting desperately to help him. To make this easier to understand and accept, it was so difficult for him. "I understand that all you have ever wanted is the very best for me. And what I am trying to tell you, Father, this Iis/I the very best for me. I am marrying the man I love and he loves me more than any man could." I paused again and looked up at my helpless demigod. "And we are going to have a child a beautiful baby who will be blessed with two loving parents and the most loving, wonderful Grandfather in all of Faerun. In your heart, you can't be angry with that, Father. You are far too generous of love and spirit to not see your good fortune." I waited for the words to sink in and cringed slightly at mentioning only 'one' of the babies. Father sat for a long moment without saying a word. He turned to Hendak.

"Hendak, would you, " Father began, "Would you mind going to the kitchen and have Drusay or Gernsey make some tea. I would like to speak with Glory alone." His calmness both surprised me and made me wary.

"Of course, Father Tabor," said Hendak.

"And, please, Hendak, do NOT call me 'Father Tabor.' Just call me.. just call me Tabor." Under these circumstances, Father's civility was most disarming. I didn't know if it was resignation, or the quiet before the storm.

"Yes, sir, as you wish, Tabor," and Hendak took his cue to leave, softly closing the large door behind him.

"My darling Daughter," he sighed deeply as he leaned forward toward me and protectively enclosed my smaller hands in his larger hands. His eyes began to mist over as he began to speak in a soft voice. "When your mother died, all I had left of her was this little crying baby who frightened this wizard more than a shadow dragon at ten feet. I looked at you, and you were so tiny and frail, and so helpless. I was even afraid to hold you at first."

"But I was even more helpless than you at the time. I had lost my soul mate, the love of my life, and it was all so unfair. We had just started our life together and the Gods took her from me. I resented them for the cruelty theydealt to me, but I hated them even more for depriving you of your wonderful mother. It was inconceivable that so suddenly, and so unexpectedly, our life and our dreams could be shattered into a million infinite pieces never to be recovered." He sighed a long and heavy breath.

"And, for a long time, I wanted to die. But you were here and you needed me. I was all that you had. I was it. And, you needed my undivided attention and that is what I gave you." He paused. "I know I wasn't the best Father, and I probably should have found a wife that could also have been something of a Mother to you, but I just could not do it. The thought of trying to replace your wonderful Mother just seemed so.. so.. wrong. And, I guess…I guess I just wanted to keep you all to myself. You were all that was left of her." He smiled through the mist in his eyes and reached up to brush a wisp of hair from my face as he had so often done when I was a child. I could feel my own eyes begin to well with tears as I had never heard my Father speak like this before.

But he was wrong when he spoke of not being a good Father. He was always warm and loving as I was growing up and I could not have wished for more. And, even though I had a nanny, he was always there for me. We always shared our meals together, and he always helped me with lessons and encouraged me in whatever project I was currently involved. But he seldom spoke of my Mother. I knew even so long ago that it was painful for him when he would brush aside my questions, or send me to Drusay for him to explain something about her.

"I knew in my heart I would never be able to just keep you locked up here in this big empty house, and I was not without great anxiety when you first went to school. Even when you first entered the Academy, and the same was so when you entered into your own practice. And, I must confess I was most unhappy and distressed when you became involved with Hendak and moved in with him." He paused, straightened his shoulders, and shook his head slowly. "But you must understand, dearest Daughter, this is different. You are asking me to willingly and lovingly relinquish you, my only child, to your own family, complete with a husband, and now a child. Letting go of my only real treasure in my life is not an easy thing for me to do. I fear you ask too much of this old wizard."

"But, Father, you don't have to let go," I tried to explain. "You are not losing me, you are gaining back a small part that left you so long ago. You will always have me. You will always be my Father and I will always love you and cherish you. But now, we will be just a bigger family. It won't be just you and me. It will be you, me, Hendak, and all the children we will have. That just means there will be more laughter in this house and more children for you to love. Is that so bad?"

He sat staring pensively at me before he spoke. "No, Daughter, that is all good. But I must confess that I am afraid." I had never heard my Father admit fear.

"Father, what is there to be afraid of?" I asked, somewhat in surprise.

"I…I fear for your safety as you bear this child. We did not know of any risk to your Mother prior to your birth and her unexpected death because of the unforeseen complications was... was devastating. The physicians and healers simply said it was not to be predicted. I.. I just don't know what I would do if I lost you, too, Glory." He squeezed my hands and his voice was anguished. "I would not recover, of this I am sure."

"You are not going to lose me, Father. Remember, I have your constitution." I tried to reassure him. "And, I am perfectly healthy, as is Hendak. There is no reason to believe this will not proceed as it should. You must not worry about this, I promise you, Father."

"That is what they said about your Mother," he replied and his sadness deepened and suddenly tinged with anger. "This is all HIS fault. Had you not become involved with that ex-slave and fallen in love with him, this would not be happening."

"Father, you taught me that we don't choose love, it chooses us. I could no more keep from loving him than the sun can keep from shining tomorrow. And, lashing out at Hendak is not going to accomplish anything. It is not his fault anymore than it is my fault, or your fault. If is just life unfolding. And as you taught me, it must be embraced, or it will pass me by." I was trying to reassure this hurting man, but it was difficult to argue or compete against such a painful, vivid memory. He sat motionless for a moment then nodded, although I could tell he was not totally convinced as his anger subsided.

"Would you...would you consider you and Hendak coming to live here until the child arrives?" he asked softly. "Or even longer if you so desired?"

"Father, you're not trying to manipulate me, are you?" I asked, instantly wary of his motives.

"No, dear Daughter," he shook his head. "It would give me great peace of mind knowing you were here. Perhaps...perhaps in some small way I could help in attending to your needs. And at the risk of offending you, I cannot help but think this is a better environment than the Copper Coronet for you and especially after our little one arrives. Would you please consider it, Glory?" He did not wait for me to answer.

"It's a big house, Glory. I could have the suite in the east wing renovated for you and include a nursery. Surely that would be more comfortable for you, Hendak, and our new little one. I would promise you that you would have all the privacy you would want and need. And, I…I will not interfere. And…and, if you two decided the arrangement was uncomfortable for any reason, I would not try to stop you from returning to the Coronet, or getting your own house, or whatever you decide to be best for you."

Father had actually succeeded in surprising me, more ways than one. It had never crossed my mind to move back to the great house. From a practical point of view, it was actually not a bad idea, all things considered, but I didn't know if Hendak would be agreeable. I did not want him to even remotely feel intimidated or uncomfortable. Plus, if Father was willing to say, right up front, that he would not interfere in any way, he meant it.

"Father, your offer is very generous, but this is something I must discuss with Hendak," I said, "and, it is a decision we will make jointly. But, Father, your attitude and behavior toward Hendak must change if you wish us to be here. He is a good man, Father, and he is going to be my husband and the father of your grandchild. He deserves your consideration and respect just as you deserve his. If for no other reason, for my sake and our child's sake." I was attempting to be diplomatic in explaining what I thought to be the one possible stumbling block in Father's proposition.

Father nodded in agreement."I thank you, Daughter, and I will respect your wishes and your decision in this matter," and he offered a faint smile. "And, Daughter, I will try to be more cordial to Hendak. I know I have not always been terribly civilized to him and I admit it is much to my shame. Your dear Mother would have cast a 'silence' spell on me long before this had she witnessed some of my more boorish and childish outbursts." He paused. "It..it's not that I harbor animosity for him in particular, it is just that I have wanted only the very best for you. I just never believed **_he_** was it." He hung his head. "But, it is now inevitable and I must adjust and respond to the reality. You have my word that I will curb my tongue and do what I can to promote a more harmonious relationship with him."

"Thank you, Father. And, please know he _**is**_ the best for me. You might even grow to like him, Father, if you would give him a chance. He is a good man." I tugged gently on his short beard just as I did as a child, to get him to agree with me by making him nod his head. He smiled remembering those many times so many years ago.

Hendak appeared at the door tray in hand. "I trust everyone would like a cup of tea?" he smiled.

"Hendak," Father motioned. "Please come and join us. We have party plans to discuss. Time grows short." Although I didn't expect his attitude to completely change overnight, I sensed a conscious effort in his words now, just as he had promised.

Hendak sat down and we began to discuss the plans. Father always surprised me with how creative he could be. I had memories of many childhood birthday parties that spoke of his ingenuity and genuinely festive spirit. My engagement party was to be nothing less than a costume ball.

"Yes, Glory, I know a costume ball is not traditional, but there are all 'sorts' on the guest list and I just thought it would be different than the usual. Just imagine – Gregorio the shape shifter. You remember him. He can assume any number of animals." He thought a moment. "Er, though I guess that is not necessarily a good example." Hescratched his whiskered chin.

"Father, a costume ball is fine. It will add a little diversity considering we are going to have the reception here a week later," I said, actually looking forward to what Father would come up with.

"And, Hendak? Do you agree?" My Father was actually asking him his opinion, his input. I thought I was hearing things.

"Yes, Tabor. It is a wonderful idea," Hendak smiled and nodded.

I knew this was not easy for Father as I watched him deliberately choose his words, curb his natural inclination to honest bluntness, and simply discuss the details without ignoring Hendak. But I could see he was making a very concentrated effort. I reminded myself I would have to give some devoted thought to addressing his fear of loss that had been precipitated by my Mother's death. It would have to be dispelled through my own reassurances that I wasn't leaving this plane anytime soon. And, I also needed to instill within him that his family of 'one' was going to grow precipitously, and almost immediately. Once we were past the birth, his fears would subside, and he could relax and enjoy his new expanded role. This would be a very good thing for him. He just didn't quite know it, yet.

"It's another carriage ride, my love," Hendak smiled as we were leaving for the Coronet.

"Maybe we should just take the short way home, my love. I think after today I just need to get home and into bed." I kissed his cheek. Any other time I would have taken him up on his offer, but I was emotionally and physically spent.

'What a wonderful father he will be,' I thought. 'What a wonderful husband he will be.'

I awoke feeling totally refreshed and invigorated. Hendak was sitting by me on the side of the bed.

"You are so beautiful when you sleep, my love," he said and brushed the hair from my cheek. He leaned over and kissed my forehead. "And, I have breakfast for you, complete with potion." The food actually smelled very good and I was ravenous.

We sat in the middle of the bed sharing from the tray.

"Hendak," I said as I stuffed the last of the berries into my mouth. "How would you feel if I asked you to consider us moving to Father's just until after the babies are born? We would have the east wing and our own privacy, of course." I didn't know how else to ask him but point blank. He looked at me for a long time as he debated the issue in his own mind.

"I know it would make you happy, my love, and it might make things better for Tabor, as well. I know he has missed you terribly since you moved here with me. After all, you are all he has." His sensitivity to my Father's feelings did not surprise me. Regardless of the insults he had endured at my Father's hands over the past three years, Hendak seemed to always understand the real reasons behind his behavior. "And since Bernard is here after hours, there is no reason we should not," and with that this wonderful man agreed to move into his future father-in-law's house. He was doing this for me, and I did love this man so very much for it!

"Father said he will completely refurbish the east wing and outfit it with a nursery," I repeated. "And, he has given his word not to interfere in any way. He is fearful he will lose me the way he lost Mother and –"

"You do not need to convince me," he smiled and put his fingers to my lips. "I understand how he feels and why. If it begins to be a problem for us, we will simply return here, or buy our own house." He smiled and shrugged. "And, as long as I have privacy with my wife that I may perform my husbandly duties, I am not particularly concerned with much else." And he laughed at his own over-simplification of the matter.

We discussed it further and dependent upon when Father could complete the renovations, we decided to move after the brief honeymoon we had scheduled. I had to admit that I would feel more secure being in my childhood home as the time for birthing neared.

We had spent so much time talking and planning, the sun had slipped up and over the east bedchamber window, unnoticed.

"What time is it, Hendak?" I suddenly remembered I had agreed to meet Riona at my office in the early afternoon.

"It's almost noon," he replied. "Were you not meeting Riona soon? Wedding things?"

"Yes, and if I don't hurry, I will be late!"

"While you are doing that, my love, I will go and visit Tabor again," he said. He immediately sensed my anxiety. "Not to worry, but this visit of man-to-man is long overdue and it is my obligation to go and speak with him about marrying his daughter. It is the right thing to do. He deserves my respect and consideration in this matter." He sensed my unspoken question. "Do not worry, the subject of "Mother" will not be discussed. I will leave that to you, my darling." He squeezed my hands and put my mind at ease.

I sprang from bed and hurriedly dressed and, as I did, I noticed my dress already slightly tighter around the waist. In another month I wouldn't have a waist.

"Oh, Hendak, do you think you could find some dried cloudberries and maybe some dried applidots from someplace? I just have this terrible craving….Oh, and some sardines, and maybe some of Cook's pudding to go with them for tonight?"

"Oh, Glory, am I going to have to watch you eat all of this? I might have to borrow some of your potion for myself." He grimaced and sighed.

Another beautiful day and a lovely walk to the Promenade. I barely arrived before Riona. Charona had been busy all morning rescheduling patients for the next month. She had also summoned my dressmaker for later in the afternoon.

"How are you feeling today?" Riona asked upon her arrival.

"Wonderful, thanks to Anomen's elixir. Maybe he should produce it and sell it to the Mart next door." I was perfectly serious.

"Good. And things went well with your Father?"

"Better than I had hoped," I replied and told her what had happened.

"And how is Anomen," I asked turning the conversation to a more professional concern.

"He's digesting what occurred yesterday and is grappling with it all internally. I am sure you will hear more at your session tomorrow. But for now, and with me, he has said very little," she smiled but the concern was very evident on her face.

"Do not worry, Riona," I patted her hand. "He has survived the initial shock, now he must assimilate what he has learned. That cannot be done overnight. It will take time and I will be here to help him. But eventually it will be you who will help him through this."

"I just hope that I am up to the challenge," she said. "He is still so guilt-ridden over the death of Saerk's daughter. It concerns me greatly. Some of his moods are darker than midnight." She shook her head.

"I know you are concerned, but Anomen loves you, and his feelings for you and his loyalty to you are the greatest motivators in his life. It will take time to mend the damage from his childhood and free him of his false beliefs about himself. Finding the truth – the real truth – about himself has only just begun. He is going to be forced to re-define himself and I have implicit faith in you and your instincts that you can, and will, help him sort through this. No, it will not be easy, but always let him know you are there for him and that you believe in him, no matter what." I paused. "And, don't forget, I am here for you, too, if and when you need me. This will be as difficult for you as it is for him, but it is going to have to be a concerted, joint effort if he is to succeed."

"I know you are right, Glory. I just needed to hear you say it." Her face lightened.

Our attention returned to the wedding plans as my dressmaker stood at the door with a most puzzled look on her face.

"Jershua, this is my friend, Riona. Riona, this is my longtime friend Jershua. Jershua has always made sure I have been appropriately dressed by the talent of her expert needle."

"Oh, Madam Glory, you embarrass me," Jershua blushed. "You are very easy to sew for."

"Well, Jershua, up to now. But things have taken a turn and we must make some changes." I told her very briefly of the change in plans.

"But, Madam, the silks won't be ready," she protested mildly.

"Yes, I know, Jershua, but we will just have to find what we need here from whatever stock is available. It is unavoidable. And, we will have to modify the style slightly to do away with the fitted waist. Maybe a less defined line from the breast-line down." Oh, the hell with it, I thought. I might just as well tell her the truth.

"Jershua, I'm pregnant and in two ten-days I am going to look as though I swallowed a small melon. We need to accommodate my stomach." There, I said it.

"Oh, Madam! I am so happy for you!" she bubbled. "Of course, we can disguise the little 'melon' problem! It will only take a few minor alterations to the original design. I feel positively inspired," she said and sat down to re-sketch the dress in record time.

She stood up, her face flushed and showed me the drawing. It was magnificent.

"Madam," she began terribly flustered, "I do not know from whence this drawing came, although it was my hand that drew it. And I do not know from whence I will procure the many pearls and rare silks that are included in it, but it is the most beautiful dress I have ever seen. As the Gods are my witness, it was not I who did this!"

I looked at Riona. She looked at me. 'Waukeen.'

"Not to worry, Jershua. I know where we can procure the materials. You go back to your shop and await my messenger and they will be delivered to you. Your rendering is exquisite and it will be perfect. Now we must do a dress for Riona as well. And whatever you include, I am sure the materials will arrive with the other bundle." I didn't think Waukeen would be one to do anything half-measure, and Jershua sat down and just as quickly drew an equally exquisite design for Riona.

"Do you need to measure?" Riona asked.

"No, Madam Riona. I know what needs to be done," slowly replied Jersua. "I do not know how I know, but I know…." She packed her sketchbook and shaking her head slowly from side to side, she left, far more baffled and perplexed than when she arrived.

"What can I say," I shrugged to Riona. "It's all beautiful and it is exactly what I would have picked myself. Who am I to argue?" She nodded in agreement. I just didn't know if Waukeen was trying to help out, or take over. That would have to be later determined.

There was not much else to be done and the day was fading. So was my energy, and I suddenly found myself ravenous. I bid Riona goodbye and invited Anomen and her for the evening meal two nights hence as I knew Hendak would enjoy seeing them again. Charona had already left and I fed Ki and locked up to go home.

Hendak and I had dinner in our suite. As he put it, the other patrons might find it quite objectionable to watch me gulping down sardines and pudding. As if the usual customers of the Coronet would really care, I thought humorously, but said nothing. It did give us time to talk without the constant, inevitable interruptions endured downstairs.

"And did you see Father today?" I asked as I stuffed my mouth with the delectable little fish followed by spoon after spoon of pudding.

Hendak turned his head so not to watch me engage in this feeding frenzy. "Yes, I did, and it went extremely well. I told him we agreed to move to the house with him and we, very civilly I might add, worked out some simple ground rules. We even got so far as finalizing the working plans for the renovation of the east wing. The laborers will arrive tomorrow to begin the transformation." He was pleased with himself and the 'peace' he felt he had negotiated with Tabor.

"And your man-to-man chat – that went well, also?" I asked.

"Yes. I explained that I was not here to take away his daughter, but I was here to marry the woman I loved, who also loved me. That we were going to be parents and I wanted him to be a part of our family. I explained that I did not have a family for most of my own life – and never had a grandfather or a grandmother. And, I did not want our children to be deprived of his presence. I told him that you still need him very much, that we need him, and that our children would need him."

"And did he understand you?"

" I believe he did."

I nodded. I was proud of Hendak. I reached over and tousled his hair forgetting my fingers were saturated with the smelly oil from the tiny fish. He shook his head and gave me a rather disgusted look. "Oops! Sorry, love," I giggled, my mouth half full with the last little odiferous morsel.

"Oh," he said as he rubbed a half a lemon in his hair, "and, if you have no objection, we will be moving into the house next ten-day. Two days before the engagement party. The work will be done by then and I thought it would be better for you now rather than after the honeymoon." He chuckled. "And I would love to kiss you right now, but I don't think I could stand it."

"That is perfectly fine, the moving part. As for the kiss, I would be expecting too much," I smiled. The idea of moving in early made me very happy.

Another bright beautiful day. I rolled over and snuggled next to Hendak. I started to greet him good morning, but he immediately stuck a bright green leaf in my mouth. "Forgive me, my love," he apologized and chuckled. "But the remaining breaths of your sardine feast from last eve could compete with the strongest cloud kill scroll in all of Faerun." The fresh green leaf quickly abated the yellow cloud in my mouth.

I arose, bathed and dressed. Yes, the dress was just a tiny bit snugger than the day before. And the usual flatness of my stomach was suddenly replaced with a slight curve.

I reviewed my schedule in my mind. I would see young Delryn this morning. I was anxious to talk to him and gauge his initial reactions. They would tell me where we needed to start on this next phase of his therapy.

As usual, he arrived precisely on time.

"Come in, Anomen. Come in," I greeted him. Charona delivered tea for us and I motioned him to sit down.

"How are you?" I asked and smiled at him.

He returned the smile and slowly nodded his head up and down. "I am still reeling from my Mother's letter and its implications," he replied.

"How do you feel about finding out Sir Ryan is your Father?" I asked.

"I am very proud as he is the epitome of all I admire and respect," he replied. "But it is still like a dream to me." He paused and then continued. "When I was a boy at the Academy, Sir Ryan would come to visit me, to see how I was getting along. I was always so happy to see him and when he would leave I was despondent. I would lie in my bed before sleep and think, 'Why couldn't he be my Father? Why was I cursed with such a monster for a Father?' I would go to sleep pretending to myself that Sir Ryan was my Father and that next holiday I would be going home with him, MY Father, for sweet cakes and presents like the other boys did.

"I remember asking him once if he had any children and he smiled and said no. I remember that night, thinking that life was so unfair, and why couldn't I be _his_ son instead of the son of the bastardlycruel Lord Cor." He sighed. "They were childish dreams and childish questions, and I put them away long before I left the Academy. I resigned myself to being the son of Lord Cor and steeled myself to the embarrassment and humiliation it brought me."

"How do you look upon it now?" I tried to further encourage him.

"It's..it's as if the music box was a magic lamp and I opened it and had my greatest childhood wish instantly come true." He waited a long moment before he continued. "It's just I don't know _what_ to do with it now that I have it and it is real."

"What do you want to do with it, Anomen," I asked.

"I…I don't know. As I thought about it yesterday, I could not, and do not, understand how he could _ever_ want to acknowledge me as his son. In my heart I never felt I had dishonored Lord Cor with my actions at Saerk's house that day – that I dishonored only myself. In my mind, Lord Cor couldn't be dishonored any more than he was already by his own hand. But now, as I think of Sir Ryan being my Father, I am more so deeply shamed at my crime. And, I do not understand how he, as a Knight of Order, could so readily accept me, a murderer, as his son."

"Anomen. He accepts you as his son because he is your Father, first. The fact that he is a Knight of the Order is secondary to the unconditional love he has always held for you. And, as your Father, he does not see you as a murderer."

"You think he doesn't think about what I have done? He must! He knows all the explicit details of the matter," he slightly raised his voice.

"I did not say he doesn't think about what you have done. What I am saying is that he, as a loving Father, does not judge you in the same 'court' or by the same 'laws' as did the Order. There is no redemption in the Order. But as your Father, and regardless of what _you_ believe you did, or what _he_ believes you did, he forgave you long ago.

"Anomen, it was because of his love and concern for you, he came forth and sought me out to help you. And, I suppose if the truth were known, he may have had something to do with the Church of Helm requiring you to come here, as well. I truthfully do not know and it is not pertinent at this point. But I do know that in his heart, his love and forgiveness has absolved you of anything and everything. That is why he can acknowledge you as his son. Do you understand?"

He sat looking intently at Ki, as he pondered what I was saying.

"You're saying he loves me unconditionally…much like how Riona loves me," he said beginning to make the connection. Very good, Delryn. He looked at me directly.

"Yes, that is exactly what I am saying." That was certainly close enough.

"How can I rid myself of this idea of possessing the taint of Lord Cor's evil heart? I have lived with it for so long, and now that I know I am not Lord Cor's son, I realize the evil I have perpetrated is solely by my hands alone."

"Anomen, think about what you saying. Up until two days ago, you were convinced that your actions were the result of you being a product of Lord Cor's evil taint. You believed you possessed a 'black heart' and it was that inherent evil that 'possessed' you and unleashed a horrible rage that resulted in catastrophic results, the loss of innocent life. Now you find out that in reality, there is no evil taint, there is no black heart. Do you think your belief in this 'curse' made it any less real than if ithad beentrue? Was the evil taint of Lord Cor _your_ reality up until two days ago?"

He nodded slowly but said nothing.

"What can I do, Glory? Is there a chance I can ever resolve this?" he asked, pain etched in the fine lines of his forehead. "I fear I will go mad if I do not try."

"I'm here to hopefully keep that from happening." I paused. "The first thing we must do is understand the real reasons of why you did what you did. The second part I cannot help you with and will be totally up to you. You must seek absolution from yourself and forgive yourself. No one else can do that for you." I waited for a reaction.

"Forgive myself? I…I…don't know if it is possible," he said in a low voice and looked down at his hands in his lap.

"In forgiving yourself and letting go, it is your only hope of true freedom, Anomen," I said. His eyes began to fill with tears.

"I…I want to be this person that Riona and my Father loves. I want to believe I am this person."

"You already are that person, Anomen. You are that person that Riona and Sir Ryan love. You need only to accept that fact and make it part of your own internal belief system. But we will need to dispel the false beliefs so entrenched over the years before the true one can take hold. Are you willing to do what it takes to accomplish this?"

He thought long and hard before he spoke.

"Yes, Glory. I am honor-bound to thosewho love me to do this. I owe them this much for the faith they have placed in me."

"Then you must let thosewho love you, help you, also. You must believe as much in them as they believe in you."

He nodded and brushed a tear from his cheek.

"And, Anomen, this will not be easy." I stopped and set my eyes squarely on his eyes. "This will be the most intense battle in which you have ever participated. It will make the battle for the Throne of Bhaal seem like a child's garden game.

"Are you willing to commit to this?"

"Yes, Glory, I am." He curtly nodded his assent.

"Very well. It will be a long road but we will do this." And I sighed a sigh of relief.

We continued to talk for several more minutes about his Mother's letter and the immediate impact upon him. I encouraged him to share his feelings with Riona and to let her help him, that it was equally as good for her as it was for him. He then confessed to being a bit reticent in contacting Sir Ryan to perhaps meet and talk. I reminded him that Sir Ryan might be equally reticent and _someone_ had to make the first move.

It was suddenly noontime and Anomen was leaving with the intention of sending a messenger to the Order to invite Sir Ryan to meet him at the Coronet to share the noontime meal. Just the two of them. I could tell he was anxious to get on with the business of Sir Ryan being his Father, whether it was publicly known or not, mattered not to him.

He had no sooner left than Seer Marybeth Fatewatch arrived.

"Seer Marybeth," I said. "What a pleasant surprise!" It was a half-truth. I had expected her on my doorstep first thing in the morning.

"Madam Glory," and she leaned over to kiss my cheek. "My Mistress sends Greetings, and gifts." She stepped aside and ten couriers held various packages and bundles.

"Gifts?" I was puzzled.

"Yes, for your seamstress and her helpers," she smiled. "For the gowns and the groom and his attendant's special suiting. If you would be so kind to give us her address, I will send them on their way posthaste to make the delivery." Charona was quickly jotting it down on a small piece of parchment.

"And, Madam, if you have a moment, I would like to speak to you in private."

"But of course, Seer. Won't you come into my office?" We stepped in and closed the door. Seer Marybeth wasted no time.

"My Mistress will be arriving the day of the engagement party and has asked me if she might stay with you and Hendak at your Father's house. There are really no other accommodations available to her at this time. She would be very grateful if this were not a problem."

"My Father's house is quite large, Seer, and I am sure the guest suite will be most to her liking. And I am sure my Father would not mind if I extended the invitation."

"Very well. Her trunks will arrive in the afternoon of the party and she will arrive precisely as the party begins.

"How will I know your Mistress?" I asked shyly. "It is a special party and everyone will be dressed in different types of costumes."

"I assure you, Madam Glory, you will know my Mistress. You will know her." And she laughed. "I hope you will not think me rude, but I must return to the Church. I brought 300 workers with me to complete the renovations and I must see that they are being properly supervised. I also sent an extra 50 workers to your Father's house that your personal renovations might be completed on time, as well."

"Thank you, Seer. Your Mistress is most kind."

"She is pleased that you approve," and with that Seer Marybeth bid us goodbye and was out the door.

"Mistress, I know it is not my place to make any comments, but by the Gods, what is your Father going to do when he finds out that Waukeen herself has taken up residence in HIS house?" Charona asked.

"Charona, that is a question for the greatest oracles of our time," I replied, "because I haven't a clue." And we laughed.

It was very busy over the next few days. We were getting ready to move into my Father's house and it was hectic. Riona and Anomen came to dinner a few evenings later.

"I already have my gown," Riona told me, somewhat wide-eyed. "It fits perfectly and it has this huge star ruby sewn into the bodice. Do you remember a star ruby in the sketch?"

"No, it must have been 'added' later," I said. "Riona, it is yours to keep. Just consider it a gift from my future Goddess-in-law." And we chuckled.

It was an enjoyable meal together. Hendak thanked Anomen profusely for the potion, and then asked if he could whip something up that would get rid of my smelly sardine and pudding addiction. That provoked side-splitting laughter all around the table, but Anomen promised to see what he could come up with. Then I heard the recounting of the freeing of the slaves as told by Riona and Anomen. Hendak had never told me how dangerous it had been and some of the obstacles they had faced. He mostly sat and blushed when his heroic deeds were heralded by the two. The evening was over far too soon, however, and we said goodnight to our friends.

"They are wonderful people," Hendak said as we curled up together to sleep. "If it were not for them, I doubt I would be here now. I am proud to call them our friends. And I am proud they are going to be in our blessed union ritual."

"Me, too," I sighed. I could never remember a time of being more content.

"And I am thankful they kept you from the little fishes tonight," he chuckled and pulled me tight. "It is the first time all week I have been able to get close to you without holding my breath." And he laughed and kissed me. "It has been too long, my love. I have my own craving, and it is for you, and I want to satisfy that craving now." He began to kiss my neck.

Before I even knew it, it was moving day. I had sorted through things, packed things up and Hendak has secured a large wagon with driver to cart our belongings up to my Father's house. It was the day before the party. I had already arranged with Father for Hendak's 'Mother' to stay at the house. He was most pleased and very curious about his upcoming house guest.

"Father, I have not met her, either, so this will be a first for me, as well," I told him.

"But do you know what she likes? Should I secure some special aperitif, or brandy, or wine? Special silk salts for her bath? Am I forgetting anything? It has been a very long time since a woman was a guest in my house. Er, except for you, of course."

"Father, I am sure what you have will be fine," I reassured him. "Anyway, you will get the opportunity to get to know her during the party, as I expect you to be her formal escort, seeing that she will not know anyone and you are the host," I reminded him of his duty, and at the same time squelched any thoughts I was havingof what could 'possibly' go wrong.

"You are right, Daughter, as usual. It's just that I am so nervous and I don't know why."

"You will be just fine, Father," and kissed his cheek.

"Perhaps a last-minute haircut," he said thoughtfully, more to himself.

We were settled in and Hendak was pleased with our new 'abode.'

"I like it," he said nodding his head in approval. "Yes, this will do nicely for us and it will be good for your Father, too."

"Hendak, we must ready ourselves for the party. It is less than an hour until guests begin to arrive. We must prepare ourselves to descend the staircase and greet them, as is tradition."

"Yes, my love. I will be prepared to escort you down the staircase when we are announced at the appointed hour."

I dressed and my chambermaid did my hair in fresh braids. As she finished up with the baby pearls and gold threads laced throughout, I rouged my cheeks and my lips. It was time.

Hendak looked devilishly handsome in pale gray formal attire and highly polished boots. He wore a simple mask. He met me at the top of the stairs.

"And, pray tell, Hendak, just what are you supposed to be costumed as?" I smiled.

"A thief, my Lady. A thief and a rogue who has stolen your heart and, I shall never return it."

The small orchestra struck a chord and the hall of people turned their attention to the staircase. A bold voice sounded above the crowd, "Mistress MorningGlory and Master Hendak." The music began and a hearty ovation was offered up by the legions of costumed partygoers. We descended the staircase and were greeted by a swarm of well wishers. Drinks were stuffed into our hands and the party was officially started.

Only moments later did Sir Ryan, Anomen, and Riona find us. Sir Ryan was expertly outfitted in a genie's garb. Anomen was sporting the comfortable gear of a woodsman, and Riona was dressed as an acolyte of the Church of Lathander.

"Well, is she here yet?" they said in quiet unison.

"No, but we expect her any moment," Hendak said. The words no more than left his lips then the large double doors to the hall opened. The crowd hushed and turned to look.

She stood in the center of the doorway. There was momentary quiet and Hendak and I moved toward her.

She was dressed in a long flowing gown of silver and gold and her long exquisite hair was intricately braided with pearls, sapphires, and rubies. Over her face she wore a partially opaque, gauzy golden veil.

Hendak grasped her and hugged her. "Oh, Mother, I am so happy you are here." And I thought for a moment I saw a tear in his eye.

"As am I, my darling Son," she replied in a beautiful, liquid voice. She finally stepped back and then turned her attention to me.

"And, my new Daughter. I finally meet you." She reached to embrace me as well. "Thank you, my new Daughter Glory, for making my son very happy. We will talk more after the party."

"It is my pleasure, Mother Waukeen," I whispered and returned her hug. The smell of honey flowers filled my head.

We were interrupted by Father.

"Hmm," he cleared his throat.

"Father, I would like to present Hendak's mother – " Waukeen immediately interrupted me.

"Yes, I am Waulinda. It is such a pleasure," and she held her hand for Father to kiss in greeting.

"And Waulinda, I am Tabor. Tabor Gaeston." He very elegantly bowed and kissed the fair lady's hand. "I am MorningGlory's Father and I welcome you to my home."

I had never seen my Father so charming before. Sir Ryan stood nearby me chuckling to himself. Father then hooked Waukeen's arm through his and began to squire her across the room to the bar.

"I am sure you are quite parched after such a long trip. I have some wonderful sparkling wine from the very heart of the foothills of the Cloud Mountains that I think you might like, and pray tell, dear lady, just who might you be impersonating this evening?"

"The Goddess Waukeen," she cooed as they walked across the room together.

Sir Ryan could contain himself no more. He began to laugh and we all turned to him.

"I must apologize," he said, trying to contain himself. "But I have seen your Father in this manner only a few times in his life. I feel I must warn you both – I think he iswas instantlysmitten with your 'Mother,' Hendak. And Goddess or no Goddess, I think I would beware if I was her. He can be quite the ladies' man, when he chooses to be."

Hendak and I looked at each other.

"Well, should we do something?" I asked.

"Even if we could, what would you suggest?" Hendak said.

"I don't know. It's your Mother who is the Goddess. My Father is just a peon mortal!"

"Maybe we should just let nature take it's course. After all, they are'adults'," he replied thoughtfully.

"That's what they said at the beginning of the Time of Troubles," I groaned.

"I have an idea," said Riona. "We will all just sort of 'keep an eye' on the situation. After all, they are, er, mature adults. Shouldn't we trust them to be somewhat responsible?"

"Riona, we're talking about my Father here," I said. "Think about it. The man exudes dire charm, he doesn't need a scroll."

"Glory is right, Riona. Maybe since I am Standing Man at the Union Ritual, I should attend to my duties early. I will go keep them company," said Sir Ryan. "I can at least keep him from over-imbibing, and possibly making a fool out of himself publicly." And not another word, and his Knight's duty clear to him, off he went to join them.

The rest of the evening went smoothly. Sir Ryan kept an unobtrusive eye on Father and Waukeen, while we all danced and had a wonderful time.

It was over far too quickly and the guests were leaving. Sir Ryan, Anomen, and Riona were the last,and we saw them to the door.

"Thank you, again, Sir Ryan for taking care of Father," I said.

"It was no trouble. It is not every day I have the opportunity to engage a Goddess in conversation," he smiled and kissed my check. "That, and your Father did not consume too much in spirits, so it was notunpleasurable." I was relieved to hear that.

We said our goodnights and Drusay closed and locked the door behind them. We trudged up the stairs, then passing the guest quarters, we madeour way down the hall to our new apartment. My back hurt and my feet ached. I had started feeling the 'pregnancy' thing over the last two days weight shifting, bones realigning. Blissful sleep, I thought and snuggled next to Hendak. Except. Oh, I just had to have one more of those little raspberry cakes. Had to, had to, had to.

"Hendak, I'm going down to the kitchen for a minute. I'll be right back."

"Hmmm," he grunted in recognition although I seriously doubted he even heard me. Spurred by my overwhelming craving, I climbed out of our new bed,slipped on my robe and slippers, and made way forour door to the hallway.

I was about 5 meters from the door to Waukeen's guest apartment when suddenly the door opened.

"FATHER!"

"DAUGHTER!"

My Father stood in front of mewith only his dressing robe and a pair of slippers on. He turned positively crimson.

"Father, what are you doing here?" Well, it didn't take a genius to figure this one out. "Father, do you have any idea with whom you just had physical relations?" It sounded so.. so.. 'clinical' in the way Iasked him. I didn't quite know why, except, perhaps, because ofthe unexpected confrontationof it. "And I will assume you did from the guilt written all over your face!" I sounded accusatory, at best!

"Glory, well..well..yes, it's true. But Glory, it was the most exciting, exquisite, er... er,evening I have had since your Mother! Ithas been just exquisitelydivine."

"I should say it was 'divine,' Father," I huffed indignantly. "Hendak's mother is the Goddess Waukeen. Father you just got out of bed with the Goddess Waukeen!"

The color immediately drained from his face as hebegan to teeterback and forth.

"Well, I guess that would explain –" he began as his eyes rolled up into his head and heliterally tipped over. He landed with a thud on the hall carpet. He was out cold.

"HENDAK!" I screamed.

To Be Continued ………


	11. Chapter X Part 1

**The Angst and the Analyst**

From the Journals and Papers of Dr. MorningGlory Gaeston

(Rated PG-13: Adult themes, mild language, mild violence, 'divine' nudity)

Chapter X – Part I

I knelt down to tend to Father. He was still breathing, thank the Gods. I checked his pulse. Not particularly weak but a little rapid and he was still ashen. I couldn't readily ascertain if he had passed out from the shock of what I said, or from a physical cause and it worried me greatly. I looked up and Waukeen stood in her doorway, a look of near shock on her exquisite features. Her iridescent golden eyes immediately struck me as her long radiant hair draped perfectly over her delicate bare shoulders. She was only partially wrapped in a sheet.

"What have you done to my Father?" I asked, angry and indignant. Well, that was foolishly brazen of me, I thought, and immediately wished I could retract the words. I scare my Father, he passes out, and I blame her, a Goddess. Consistent behavior for a mortal, but I didn't know if it was going to be understood by a Goddess.

"Oh, Glory. What happened? I heard you and Tabor here in the hall," she said, her melodious voice full of immediate concern as she modestly grappled with the sheet. "This is all my fault and I am so, so sorry. Here, let me help." She knelt beside me and put her hands on Father. A short incantation and his color instantly returned. She cradled his head in her lap and a moment later he began to stir. "Tabor," she said softly. "Tabor, my darling." She stroked his face gently. "Are you alright, my darling?"

"Father, are you hurt? Are you alright?" I asked still patting his hand. I checked his pulse again. It had returned to normal.

"Glo…Glory? Is that you?" he asked as he opened his eyes and began to focus his vision. He immediately looked up into Waukeen's face. "By the Gods, you ARE Waukeen," he whispered in awe.

I worried he was going to faint yet again, or worse.

"Yes, Tabor, I am," she smiled down at him still holding his head and caressing his face.

"I….I…was on my way to the pantry to fetch more wine for us, and I met Glory here in the hall. She…she startled me and then told me you were the Goddess Waukeen. I…I…guess it all took me by surprise. I…I guess I fainted." He laughed nervously and attempted to sit upright.

"Tabor, it was wrong of me not to tell you myself," Waukeen confessed. "Please forgive my selfishness. But we had such a wonderful evening together and I didn't want it to end so soon. I just wanted to spend more time with you in, shall we say, a more intimate atmosphere. I thought if you knew who and what I am, you might change your mind and that would end it. I…I know how you feel about the Gods, Tabor, and I deceived you for my own ends, and I am truly sorry."

She was genuinely contrite and I listened closely to the very human quality present in her words. Was I hearing a thinly veiled fear of rejection? It wasn't inconceivable she could develop such a fear from my Father, and since she had read his heart, she knew of his great disdain for the Deities in general.

As for Father, this was an aspect of him with which I was totally unacquainted. He was always 'Father' to me, asexual and paternal. I had never given a thought to any personal desire or need for a woman's physical companionship. Granted, his reputation for his charm and finesse with the fairer sex was widespread, and the ladies of the city always avidly pursued him socially, seeing as how he was an eligible bachelor. Any hint, much less confirmation, of any masculine prowess had totally escaped my attention. But, it quickly occurred to me that as his daughter, I would probably be the last person to hear any whisperings or musings that undoubtedly made the rounds of ladies' circles about his more charming, personal and intimate talents. Then there was the subtle inference by Sir Ryan earlier in the evening. It was all coming into focus for me.

As I knelt there, I realized I had never been confronted with the possibility, let alone the fact, that my Father copulated. That stark reality, in and of itself, was difficult for me, his Daughter, to accept. But the thought of him engaging in carnal pleasure with my future mother-in-law, a Goddess, was definitely beyond my realm of comprehension at this moment.

We helped Father to his feet. He instinctively smoothed his robe and brushed back his silver-laced black hair with his fingers.

"I am very flattered that you would desire to deceive me so, my Lady and no apology is necessary," he began. He was quickly composing himself. "And, I must admit I have never been seduced by so lovely a being from this, or any plane."

I suddenly felt awkward and that I was eavesdropping on what sounded much like the beginning of verbal foreplay. I was not ready to listen to what I suddenly knew would be my Father's skilled banter. Especially as it was being delivered to a partially clad Goddess who stood enamored with each word he spoke.

"Father, if you are alright, I will return to bed. I suddenly realize that I don't want that little raspberry cake after all," I interrupted, quickly looking for a reason to excuse myself.

"Yes, dear Daughter, I am fine, I assure you." He leaned and kissed me on my forehead. "Perhaps, the lovely Waukeen and I should continue this conversation in private." I was being summarily dismissed. He then turned to her and smiled, "But first, allow me to excuse myself and I shall retrieve a bottle of 100-year old brandy that I have been saving for such a, er, discussion," and he turned and as though nothing had happened at all, walked down the hallway in pursuit of the brandy. He had every intention of returning and resuming where he had left off!

"I am so very sorry, Glory, if I have caused any problem for you, or between you and your Father. I wouldn't dream of disrupting the wonderful relationship that you share," she said.

"No, Waukeen," I sighed. "No apology is necessary. I shouldn't have been so hasty in affixing blame. Please understand it is sometimes difficult for mortal children to realize and accept their parents as being fully functioning mortals as well." I couldn't believe my own voice. Dr. MorningGlory knew it was true, but I wasn't sure if, MorningGlory, the daughter, was ready to totally accept it. "Just promise me you won't let him, er, over-exert himself." I paused. "Now that he knows you really are a Goddess, his ego may get in the way of his common sense." Yes, that was the practical MorningGlory-taking-care- of-Father speaking.

"Do not worry, Glory," she laughed softly. "I will not test his physical endurance. He will be perfectly safe with me, I promise. I would let nothing harm your Father, I assure you." She leaned and kissed me on the cheek and for a brief moment I caught the scent of sweet honey flowers.

I returned to our apartment and resumed my place beside Hendak.

"Did you get your cake?" he mumbled.

"No, my journey was interrupted by my Father leaving your Mother's bedroom," I said and waited for a response. "Didn't you hear me call you?" He ignored my question.

"Well, the old fox," Hendak mumbled and chuckled softly. "Good for him."

"It doesn't bother you….that your Mother and my Father…," I began.

"No. Should it? Wizards and Goddesses have needs, too, my love," he was still quietly chuckling.

He was no help and I was annoyed with him that he wasn't indignantly outraged at their behavior as I had been. And, MorningGlory, the daughter, was still very ill at ease about the matter. I lay there continuing the debate with myself. I tried to adopt the attitude of a mature woman.

Yes, any woman, Goddess or mortal, would be lucky to have my Father in her bed, I told myself. He was handsome, successful, intelligent, charismatic, and very virile. Oh, my! It was suddenly obvious to me that the ladies of city didn't want him around only to chat it up! And why shouldn't he have a private, romantic life with whomever, and whenever, he chose? He was, after all, a responsible adult and had every right to do so.

Egads, I was trying to justify my Father's actions, or inactions, to myself about something that was simply none of my business! Why couldn't I just let him be him? He was my Father and I loved him regardless of what he did, or with whom. This was all a shock to me and I was simply going to have to get used to the idea that he was also a mortal man with all of the physical wants and needs that accompany the human condition.

Hendak rolled over and slid his arm under my shoulders and pulled me close to him. "He's your Father, Glory, I know…but he was a man first. I don't believe he will ever forget he is both." He had summed it up in a nice, neat package, and he was right. "Now, time to sleep. Soon-to-be husband needs sleep. Babies need sleep. Soon-to-be wife-and-mother needs sleep." He was right about that, as well.

We met Father and Waukeen at breakfast the next morning.

"A lovely party!" Father was ebullient. "A grand time was had by all, don't you agree, Glory?" If a man could be described as 'radiant,' Father was it this morning. I found myself actually very happy for him.

"Father," I began. I had been thinking about what I would say ever since I arose. I had awakened feeling very guilty for being wrongfully judgmental toward them, and I owed them both an apology. "I…I owe you, and you, Mother Waukeen, an apology for last evening." He raised his hand and stopped me.

"No, my Daughter, you do not. It is I who owe you an apology for not being, shall we say, more discreet, considering the, um, circumstances. My Daughter should not be subjected to her Father roaming the hallways after hours in search of refreshment for his lover's thirst. Waukeen and I have discussed this and it is both she and I who owe you the apology. Our lack of discretion demonstrated great insensitivity and disregard to both you and Hendak. As for what occurred between Waukeen and I, that is exactly where it should have stayed, and we should have been more sensitive to our immediate surroundings. I should have also been more aware of your feelings, Daughter, and for that I am truly sorry." He paused a long moment and a wide smile spread across his face. "And consequently, to that end, our lovely Waukeen has accepted my invitation to share my quarters during her stay with us. That should eliminate the need for any late-night quest of a lovers' tryst." Father leaned over and gently caressed Waukeen's beautiful hand.

Father had spoken, and that would be the end of the issue as far as he was concerned. I was secretly thankful his quarters were on the west side of the great house. They would have complete privacy and I didn't have to think of Father and Waukeen being together. This was still going to take time for me, the Daughter.

"And Mother," Hendak said, thoughtfully changing the subject, "what did you think of our little party? Did Tabor introduce you to the nobility of our fair city?"

"Oh, yes. Tabor was the perfect host," and she began to recount the many people she met and her impressions of them. She was as charming as Father. For a mortal and a god, I could see they were a perfect match.

Then I felt it.

The first movement of life within. It was only a slight repositioning of a tiny arm or leg, but it was the epiphany of motherhood. I instinctively cupped my stomach with my hands waiting for the next movement.

"My love? Are you alright?" Hendak said, apparently in response to the look upon my face. I nodded as I was momentarily speechless. I picked up his hand and put it on the slight paunch of my stomach. Another movement, more pronounced.

"I….I felt it!" Hendak whispered with amazement .

"It's the babies," Waukeen smiled knowingly at Father and patted his hand warmly. "They have finally 'awakened.'"

"Babies?" asked Father. "Babies? As in, more than one?" He looked at me. I nodded again still speechless.

"How many babies?" he asked wide-eyed.

"Two, Tabor," said Waukeen sweetly. "Two beautiful children. A boy and a girl to light up our lives."

"A boy and a girl?" Father's voice resounded. "Oh, how absolutely glorious! Two beautiful children!" He was ecstatic. The last of hidden truth was revealed.

I had decided not to go to my office as I had no appointments for the day and had arranged for Charona to leave at noon if she wished. I was still a bit tired from the excitement of the previous evening and decided to laze about as much as possible. Hendak was going to the Coronet for a few hours and would return mid-afternoon that he might spend time with his Mother, one-on-one. Father was occupied at the Cowled Wizards the entire day, but did arrange to take Waukeen to mid-day meal with Sir Ryan. She would again wear a veil to protect her identity and Father came up with the excuse of it being 'the custom of her people' as an explanation to outsiders. I think he enjoyed the idea of squiring his lovely companion about the city in public. I tried to remember the last time he had done so and could not think of a single instance. Except for rare social occasions, he was always alone. I wondered if the ladies of the city would soon be chittering about his 'attachment' to the mysterious mother of Hendak.

It was mid-morn and I sat curled up in the cushioned window seat of our apartment parlor. Staring out across the north side of the city, I could see the spires of Waukeen's Church just beyond the city wall and the white tops of pleasure craft sailing on the water to the northeast. I was still reflecting on my Father as I had for most of the morning. His demeanor at breakfast was having a decided impact on me. It made me sad to think he had been lonely all these years and I didn't even know it. I just had never seen him any other way and assumed he was happy and content. He had adapted, because of me. And, maybe he was overall content, but I had never seen him as alive as he was this morning. My ruminations were interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Enter," I called. The door opened.

"May I interrupt your reverie?" It was a smiling and happy Waukeen.

"Please do. Please come in," I said and swung my feet around to the floor.

"Please do not get up," she said. "You look so comfortable, and there is no reason to move. I'll just move a chair by you." She waved her hand and a chair appeared. It bore a marked resemblance to the patient chair in my office. "I hope you don't mind, it's my favorite chair from home. I'll move it to Tabor's parlor when we have finished visiting."

"Of course not," I replied, properly amazed. "Shall I ring for tea?"

"No need to," she smiled and waved her hand again. A small service table appeared complete with tray of tea, cups, and gooey raspberry pastries. The tea was hot and the pastries were still warm from whatever oven they emerged. "I will serve," she said and then attended to pouring the tea with her own two hands.

"I wanted to take this opportunity to again apologize to you, Glory. It was not my intention to become 'involved' with your Father in a physical manner when I arrived. Even Goddesses cannot always predict the future, you know." She smiled sweetly.

"Mother Waukeen, you do not need to apologize again. It is I who should be thanking you."

She looked at me, eyes aglow.

"I have never seen my Father more animated. More alive. And I know it is in large part because of you and your evening together. You… you revitalized him. I…I didn't realize my Father had been so lonely until this morning." I couldn't keep the note of sadness from my voice.

"It is not your fault, dear child. And, your Father would be terribly upset if he thought you blamed yourself." She was reading my emotions. "It was your Father's choice and he has no regrets of his years of self-imposed solitude. He did what he thought necessary for your well being without any thought for himself. In my domain, finding such an unselfish mortal is a rarity, indeed." Her admiration for my Father was clear in her voice.

"This has been an awakening for me, Mother Waukeen. I can't bear the idea that Father is 'alone.' And I don't know what I can do about it."

"There is nothing you can do, Daughter. It is up to him to make his own choices. You, of all people, should know that," she replied and handed me my cup.

"But what is going to happen after you leave to go ..home?" The thought had just occurred to me. What was going to happen to Father? What if he fell in love with her?

"We will cross that bridge when we come to it, dear one," she said. "Right now, your Father is truly the least of your concerns." She saw the furrows etching their way across my forehead. "Glory, your Father is a wonderful, wonderful mortal. He is free of the usual human encumbrances, and he is strong of spirit and will. If he were not, he would have succumbed many years ago. And, you, my darling girl, are so very much like him, although you may not realize it yet. He will survive and he will survive well, I promise." She reached to touch my cheek and her words were very comforting. "Now, tell me, have our babies decided to make their presence more known?"

"Just a small movement here and there," and I smiled at her.

We continued to talk about the twins until Drusay arrived to announce her carriage was waiting downstairs. Waukeen rose, bid me a goodbye with a kiss on the cheek and left. Drusay lingered until after Waukeen departed.

"Madam Glory, might I trouble you for a moment?" he timidly asked.

"Of course, Drusay. How might I help you?"

"Master Hendak's Mother. She really is the Goddess Waukeen, if I may ask?"

"Yes, Drusay," I replied. "She really is the Goddess Waukeen. But as I am sure Father told you, that is our little secret until the Union Ritual. Does it trouble you as to who she is? Is there some sort of problem?"

"Oh, no, Madam. She's just so very nice 'in person'. Not at all what one might expect of a Goddess. Very almost human-like." His voice trailed off, and he picked up the ornate, gem-encrusted tea tray and removed it from the room. I knew he was wondering where it came from. Waukeen had already 'sent' her chair down to Father's private parlor when Drusay had knocked at the door.

The afternoon was no less lazy. Waukeen had returned from a wonderful time with Father and Sir Ryan where they had regaled her with stories of their youthful foolishness. Hendak had come home to have noon meal with me and then he and Waukeen had retired to the beautiful flower garden below our windows that Mother could shower attention on Son. They sat on one of the stone benches deep in conversation as I sat and watched from my window above.

I had brought a couple of Delryn's files home with me knowing I would have a chance to thoroughly review them in the quiet of the afternoon. It would be an interesting session tomorrow. Riona had told me during a private moment last evening that he was attempting to open up more but was having a difficult time translating and communicating the tangled feelings he was encountering. It was frustrating for him and had resulted in a few tense moments between them.

We converged in the lounge for Father's usual round of aperitifs prior to dinner. I was surprised to see a small group of musicians playing.

"A small group of talented folk blind, and formerly of the eyeless cult," he explained to me and smiled. "No reason we should jeopardize our lovely Lady's identity and no reason to not have wonderful entertainment during the interim!"

After dinner we returned to the lounge and listened to more music. Father danced with Waukeen and I soon felt tired and ready to retire for the evening. Hendak and I excused ourselves and left the two to their own devices.

"Are you feeling better about your Father?" Hendak asked me as I lay my head on his shoulder.

"I…I think so," I replied. "I think I am more concerned now with what will happen to him when your Mother goes ..'home'."

"Do not worry about Tabor, my love. I think my Mother is exactly what he needs at this moment in time," he said thoughtfully. "You will see as time goes on." His words were reassuring and I snuggled in closer to him as he wrapped his arms around me.

It felt good to be back in my office after several days of absence.

"Mistress," said Ki utilizing Lord Phade's voice. "Babies are growing nicely. I note a marked difference in the size of your stomach since last I saw you."

"Oh, Ki!" I laughed not expecting such a comment. "You are almost too observant for your own good!"

"And, Mistress, I have never seen you look more lovely. Impending motherhood certainly agrees with you."

"Are you angling for an extra treat, Ki?"

"Well, Mistress, if you feel compelled, I am not one to say no…" he replied.

"Glory!" I turned and Delryn stood at the door with a wide smile on his face.

"Come in, Anomen. I was just feeding my neglected Ki." I was glad to see Anomen. He was not just a patient. He was someone I personally cared very much for and I wanted him to be happy. He walked over to Ki's perch.

"Good morning, Ki," he said. "You're looking handsome as ever." He reached out to gently pat Ki's feathered head.

"Good morning, Master Anomen," Ki allowed this and replied amidst a partial beak full of seeds. I was surprised that Ki even acknowledged him. But then Anomen was the first patient to ever talk directly to Ki and it flattered the bird to be recognized. Obviously, the slight of many days ago was forgiven and forgotten. "And the lovely Riona?" asked Ki as he swallowed and shifted from foot to foot on his perch. That was very bold of Ki, to ask about someone – anyone!

"She is just that, Ki…," he replied. "Lovely as ever." Ki briefly ruffled his feathers. Oh my! Did my lovely Kirani bird have a crush on the lovely Riona? I chuckled to myself at the possibility.

Charona served our usual tea and Anomen seated himself in his now usual fashion as we began our session.

"Have you been getting acquainted with your newly found Father?" I asked.

He smiled and nodded. "Yes, we have been able to spend some time together for which I am most grateful. We're getting acquainted."

"And..?" I prodded him on.

"It's more than I could have ever asked for in this lifetime. We.. we have so many of the same interests, and our views are so similar on many things… But it all frightens me."

"How?"

"I'm afraid I am going to wake up and find it all a dream."

"You do realize that as you continue to establish your relationship with Sir Ryan, that fear will go away."

"I..I suppose." And he grinned. "Rather like I had the same fear about Riona in the beginning. I was afraid she would go away because I felt I wasn't worthy of her."

"And she hasn't gone away, has she?"

"No," he continued to smile. "No, she hasn't. She has seen the worst and never wavered."

I wanted to steer him in another direction. "Have you given any more thought to what we discussed last time about Lord Cor's influence upon you?"

He looked down and nodded. "Yes, and I tried to talk with Riona about it but I just couldn't quite get it out where it made sense. I can see and feel it in here," he tapped his chest then glanced up. "But I have a difficult time comprehending it and making sense of it here." He moved his hand to gesture to his temple.

"Then, let me pose a question for you and you think about it before you answer," I began. "Do you think Lord Cor could have know exactly what to say to you to trigger you to take action against his enemy for his sole benefit? And, more importantly, do you believe he would have done so?"

His head still down, he thought long and hard.

"Yes," he finally said. "But I knew better, and still I acted with reckless disregard. It was me that did it, not him."

"So you believe your actions were totally within your own purview and nothing outside of yourself influenced your decision for such behavior?" I asked.

"No, I do not believe that. I believe that my rage stirred me to such ends and that my actions were those not of rational thought." He raised his head to look at me.

"Would you concede that it is possible that Lord Cor knew exactly what to say to you to influence your rage and stir such irrational actions towards Saerk?"

"Y..yes." His voice was barely audible and softly choked. "It was his words, his accusations of my dishonor to my family name and my sister's memory that enraged me so. He called me a coward in not defending Moira's honor, not avenging her death. He said I was a coward for shirking my family duty." He buried his face in his hands.

"Anomen," I said softly, "you are not a coward. Cowards do not march into the nine hells to protect their loved one. Cowards do not fight at the foot of the Throne of Bhaal. Cowards do not free slaves. Cowards do not stand between their Mother and her drunken husband in the hopes of protecting her from harm." His hands still covered his face as though there was something right in front of him that he did not wish to see. I plowed on.

"Do you think it is possible that Lord Cor manipulated you into taking vengeance for his own selfish reasons when Moira died?" I put it plainly. "Do you think he knowingly provoked you to such action, knowing full well what the consequences would be, and with total disregard to you?"

"Yes.. yes.. the son-of-a-bitch," he nodded and whispered from behind his hands. He paused and his voice began to rise into a grand wail crackling with bitter emotion. "The son-of-a-bitch knew all along that Saerk was innocent and he knew exactly what to say to me to manipulate me into killing him for his own selfish purposes. The son-of-a-bitch knew I would go and do his wicked evil deeds for him. I…I was his puppet and he knew exactly how to pull the strings!" His body trembled with his anger.

He suddenly clinched his hands into balled fists and sent them crashing down full force upon the edge of my desk. The wood split neatly and cleanly at the overhang then fell with a loud clattering noise to the floor. Ki squawked in surprise, and I flinched, but Anomen was unaware of what he had done. "THE SON-OF-A-BITCH KNEW WHAT I WOULD DO!" He was now red-faced and screaming.

"THE SON-OF-A-BITCH KNEW… HE KNEW I WASN'T HIS SON AND HE KNEW HOW TO USE ME TO HIS OWN PURPOSES. HE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT TO SAY TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME JUST AS HE HAD DONE MY WHOLE LIFE!" Hot tears rolled from his eyes and he again slammed his fists onto the desk. The raw splintered edge caught the tender fleshy side of his hand and split it open. Blood splattered across my papers and the front of my dress.

I didn't care if he made the desk into kindling. He had opened this dark door for himself and he had to get this out, and now. There was no turning back. He slammed the desk again, and again his blood flew across me and my notes.

"HE KNEW, GLORY.. HE KNEW I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO MAKE HIM LOVE AND ACCEPT ME AND HE USED IT TO GAIN HIS OWN ENDS."

He then collapsed back into the chair and covered his face with his hands, blood trickling down the side of his arm to his elbow. "How I hate him so," he moaned, his screaming stopped, and his body racked with sobs. "How I hate him so. What I sacrificed for him so that he would love me, would accept me. I gave up my life's dream for that son-of-a-bitch, with the hope that he would finally love me as I always wanted him to.. " He continued to sob, the shudders abated.

Charona quietly opened the door and I waved her out. She nodded and closed the door. He was completely oblivious to the brief interruption.

"Anomen, he used you. He manipulated you into doing something you would have never done otherwise," I said softly. "The death of Saerk and his daughter is not totally of your doing. You were duped into it. You were goaded by factors he engrained in you when you were a small child." I stopped to let him absorb this. "It does not absolve you for your actions, but maybe now you will understand better why you did what you did."

He took his hands from his face. Blood mixed with tears were smeared along the right side of his face down into his dark beard. A small rivulet had started to streak down his neck. I imagined this was similar to the blood he spilled in battle. It was ironic that so personal a battle would bring such physical wounds. He still had not noticed his injured, bleeding hand as it continued to drip onto the chair and the floor.

I nodded toward it. He looked and the wound instantly mended and disappeared. I gathered a small towel out of my desk drawer and doused it with water from our tea tray. I offered it to him. He slowly and silently wiped his hands, his arm and then his face. He had stopped sobbing and he finally spoke.

"You were right, Glory. This is the worse battle I have ever fought," he whispered coarsely. "I have been fighting an enemy that does not exist as I think I know it. I have lived with his threat of rejection all my life. Always trying to prove my worthiness of his love and acceptance to him. Nothing was ever good enough. Nothing was ever enough. He always held what I desired the most just out of my reach, yet I kept trying. No, the enemy I seek is something buried in my past yet it haunts me every day." He shook his head slowly from side to side as he wrung the damp towel between his hands.

"It won't haunt you much longer, Anomen. In recognizing it, you are dispelling the power it holds over you even as we speak," I said. "Now that you know the enemy, the enemy will have no power over you other than what you allow." He nodded in recognition.

"Oh, by the Gods, what have I done," His attention turned to the long piece of wood splintered at his feet. "Oh, Glory, I've broken your desk and ruined your papers and your dress." He was very distraught and embarrassed. "How will you ever forgive me?"

"Anomen," I smiled at him. "This desk, these papers, this dress – they are all just things. Things that can be replaced. They are unimportant and there is nothing to forgive. What is important is you and how you feel now."

"I…I feel great hatred for Lord Cor and what he did to me. Not..not just how he physically hurt me when I was a child, but I now see he always used me whenever he could and played God with me. He saw a way to finally break me, and achieve his own selfish purposes in one felt swoop. He took it. And then he disowned me.

"He must have been overjoyed that such a fortunate set of circumstances fell into his lap that he could fashion them into a masterful 'Lord Cor' plan from the very beginning. He was finally able to exact vengeance for my dear Mother's betrayal of him with my Father." His voice was steeped in hateful bitterness then he paused and looked at me. "It was never really me, was it, Glory. I was just a pawn in his well laid plans."

"I don't honestly know, Anomen. But, I would tend to agree that no, it was never you, per se. Your assessment of his motives would certainly explain a great number of things about him. In hurting you, and even attempting to destroy you, he very easily could have been fulfilling a twisted vendetta against your Mother and Sir Ryan. But whatever his reasons or motives, the fact remains he used you to his own ends. And in understanding that, Anomen, you may be better able to accept your own actions, and forgive yourself and go forward with your life. That is what is important here. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Glory, I understand now what you have been trying to tell me," he nodded. "Helm has granted me a real second chance at a truly happy life with a woman I love and a Father who loves me and whom I love. I must find a way to forgive myself and go on to this happiness."

"Perhaps Helm is granting you your first chance, Anomen," I replied, half smiling. "And, if He thinks you worthy of such personal intervention, then perhaps you should trust in his divine wisdom." I would let him think about that for a while.

"Now, do you feel like talking more about your Father? Your real Father?" I asked. I was still anxious to hear how it was between them, even though it was only a matter of a few days. The mention of his 'real Father' brought a smile to his lips and he nodded.

"I only wish I had known sooner," he explained. "I feel some regret that I have missed out on so much already that we cannot make up for."

"And, he feels the same?" I asked.

"Probably more so, Glory. I sense a certain sadness in him and I know I can't make it go away for him."

"You won't be able to make that go away, Anomen. A part of it is that he misses what could have been with your Mother and the life they, and you, could have had. That is something over which you have no control. The fact that you accept him for who he is, and what he meant to her, will mean much more to him as time goes on and your relationship develops and you grow closer. But you can help him deal with this, Anomen, as he, in part, feels guilty for how you suffered as you were growing up."

He nodded. "I really love him, Glory. He is my Father and I really love him and I will treasure him for the rest of my days."

"Then you must tell him, Anomen. Never be shy and never be reticent." He nodded again.

We talked on at some length and it was soon time for noon meal. Anomen rose to say goodbye.

"Glory, I hope you will allow me to replace your desk and, by the Gods, I have managed to ruin your chair as well," he said directing my attention to the soaked bloodstains on the arm and the cushion of the seat. He cursed under his breath.

"Anomen, do not worry about it," I said. "I have been wanting new furniture for some time – now I have an excuse to get it."

"I..I.. think I should also tell you, I am going to ask Riona to marry me. I mean, REALLY marry me. In a Church and all and soon." He looked a little sheepish and I noted a slight blush.

"Anomen! That's wonderful! Congratulations!" I was happily surprised.

"I..I thought I would ask her tonight. So please act surprised if she comes by tomorrow to see you to deliver the good news." His grin spread from ear to ear.

"Anomen, I will treat this information as being patient privileged. Have you told anyone else?"

"I told Sir—my Father. He..he is the one who encouraged me to do it. To actually ask her for her hand, I mean, and make it official. He said I had already wasted far too much time. He said he didn't want Tabor getting too much of a jump on him being a grandfather and all."

"That is so wonderful, Anomen. I am so very, very happy for you," I said and we walked to the outer office together.

"Charona, when is our next appointment set up for Anomen?" I asked.

"We have you, Anomen, and Sir Ryan jointly two ten-days from now, mid-morn," Charona smiled.

"Wonderful," I said. It would be after our honeymoon. "Oh, Anomen, we will be having the formal rehearsal dinner the eve prior to the union ritual."

"Yes, Glory, Riona has already told me. And, just so you will know, we are going to be giving Hendak a small party tomorrow eve. You know….the 'men only' traditional thing," he snickered. Charona giggled and slightly blushed. All women had heard what goes on at these parties but I really didn't want any details. The idea of joy dancers providing mass entertainment for a group of drunken fools didn't appeal to me in the least. We said our goodbyes.

"Oh, Mistress, your dress is ruined!" Charona lamented after we closed the door. "And you have dried flecks of blood on your face. Are..are you alright? I was really frightened at first when I heard Master Delryn shouting."

"Not to worry, Charona. He bloodied his hand when he hit the desk….and broke it." I really had thought of new tapon furniture only a few days earlier. "I'll just wash this off and wear my cloak closed when I go home this afternoon. It will be fine."

"I was just frightened, Mistress. I was afraid he might harm you and the babies," she confessed. "He was raving like a madman."

"No, Charona. I don't think we will ever see that side of Master Delryn again. That side of him is on its way to a well-deserved demise." And I smiled to myself.

To Be Continued………


	12. Chapter X Part 2

**The Angst and the Analyst**

From the Journals and Papers of Dr. MorningGlory Gaeston

(Rated PG-13: Adult themes, mild language, mild violence, nudity)

Chapter X Part 2

Father insisted on going to Hendak's men-only party. As he said, he was a man, he was invited and he was attending. Riona had come over to have dinner with Waukeen and me, and Father, Hendak, and Anomen had piled back into the carriage with Sir Ryan to go to the Coronet for the evening of male frivolity. I thoughtfully had 'released' Sir Ryan from his 'Father-sitting' duties for the evening but cautioned them all that we had better not see the face of an angry city guard delivering any, or all, of them at some ungodly hour of the morning for some infraction of the law resulting from 'bad' behavior. All I got in return for my admonitions against such indignities were four, slightly sheepish, little boy smiles but no reassurances that such an event would not take place. I shook my head as I closed the door and placed their fate in the hands of Helm himself.

"It is such a charming custom," Waukeen laughed as we sat in the lounge listening to the eyeless cult musicians. "I mean, the men getting together for their own little party. The male camaraderie, and all."

"Oh, yes, Mother," I sniffed indignantly, remembering the musicians were blind, not deaf. "A custom no doubt instituted by Sharess." Waukeen looked perplexed at my apparent cynicism.

"We have only heard second-hand what goes on at these affairs," Riona quickly explained. "I know of no woman, other than the, er, entertainers, who has ever been invited, much less any who attended."

There was an edge to my voice as I tried to further explain. "And, I am sure the rumors we have heard are only a small part of what really occurs."

"Really, Glory, you are not concerned with Hendak's loyalty and fidelity, are you?" Waukeen was serious.

"No, it just bothers me that some young, firm, agile, flat-stomached, large-breasted woman is going to be rubbing her nude body all over him. It…It disturbs me tremendously." It was a surprising admission for me as I felt my face turn red.

"But, Glory.. You are the one woman that my Son truly loves and you are going to be the mother of his children. Does knowing this not give you peace of mind?" Waukeen didn't seem to readily grasp the concept of jealousy.

"It's not that I doubt his feelings, Mother. It's just that mortal temptation can be so overwhelming and many have succumbed to far less," I replied, vainly attempting to rationalize my own feelings of possessiveness.

"And, you, Riona? You have this same feeling about Anomen?"

"I must admit, yes, I feel the same way. Even though Anomen and I will be married shortly, and I know he loves me and would never be unfaithful to me, I still don't like the idea very much."

"Well, then, Children," she said thoughtfully. "Perhaps we should see for ourselves exactly what does occur at these events. Follow me." Riona and I looked at each other, mutually wondering exactly what Waukeen had in mind. With more than a healthy dose of curiosity, we followed her down the hall from the lounge to the dining room.

Drusay had already cleaned up from the evening meal and had prepared for serving breakfast. We were totally alone in the quiet of the dim light.

"Ah," said Waukeen. "Just what we need." She stopped in front of the large, four-by-six meter ornamental mirror overhanging the long buffet on the side of the room. "This will do nicely as our viewing screen." She waved her hand and our shadowed reflections were instantly replaced with a birds-eye view of the brightly lit interior of the main floor of the Copper Coronet. It was like being there.

"Now, shall we make ourselves comfortable, Children?" she smiled. "It would appear the show is about to begin…" She waved her hand again and three comfortable chairs appeared from nowhere. Unbeknownst to the partygoers, we had our own private viewing gallery. I felt just a twinge of guilt, but not enough to tear my attention from what lay before me. No, there was too much curiosity to even voice a mild protest.

We watched intently as the fifty-or-so men who had been invited to the private party were reveling in their mutually jovial mood. All had been adequately fed as Bernard and a few staff cleared the last of dinner plates from the many tables. From casual observation, it was also obvious that all of them were heavily into their ale thereby confirming my long-held belief that the level of raucous laughter rises in direct proportion to the amount of spirits consumed. It was very loud. No doubt, the whooping and carrying-on being the result of nefarious tall tales being exchanged between rascals and raconteurs alike.

Strange music suddenly wafted through the air halting their story telling and commanded the undivided interest of the rowdy group. The view swung to the side where a group of elfin musicians engaged a soporific and heady melody on instruments I didn't even recognize. As if on cue, Bernard opened the side door and a bevy of beautiful, exotic young females moved fluidly into the main room amid the enthusiastic whistles and catcalls offered up by the men. The entertainment had arrived in the mixture of humans, elfs, and half-elfs, with two ebony-skinned drow impersonators. Rather, I assumed them to be impersonators. I had never met a drow, so I couldn't be sure, but after reading Anomen's journal depicting the group's travel to and from the drow city in the Underdark, I could only imagine why 'impersonators' had been included in the line up. The sensual prowess of the drow females was legendary.

Regardless, they were all devastatingly exquisite in their scanty, wispy costumes with all of their feminine charms nearly fully exposed through the filmy see-through fabric. Accompanied by the exotic music of the elfin ensemble, they glided into their opening dance with the precision of a highly trained military troop. The risqué choreography was designed to capture the men's full attention, and, indeed, it did, as the spellbound crowd sat totally enthralled with the more-than-suggestive movements expertly executed by the women. Nothing could be heard except the music as all eyes were fixed upon the undulating dancers.

Soon the opening dance was concluded and the spell momentarily broken as the men shouted and whistled in overwhelming approval. Only a few moments passed before the musicians began again and hush commanded the room. 'This might not be so bad,' I thought. 'I, perhaps, can live with this.'

The second dance was far more suggestive than the first as pieces of the wispy garments fell away with each sinuous movement the dancers made. The young women then caressed themselves and each other to the undulating erotic strains of the music. Midway through the number, the dancers broke formation and serpentined their way in and around the crowded tables of men, dedicating individual attentions to their entranced audience. 'No,' I thought, as I watched the men turning into mounds of drooling jelly, 'maybe I can't live with this.'

One tall,dark-haired half-elf immediately locked her gaze on Anomen and began rhythmically moving toward him in time with the music. Flanking each side, Father and Sir Ryan gleefully egged him on as the young woman suggestively flirted and slowly wound her way within inches of him as he sat upon his chair. He was, needless to say, totally rapt by her solicitude. Back and forth she swayed to the hypnotic music as she ran her fingers along his face and beard then through his hair. With finite agility, she straddled his lap facing him then grasped the back of his head and slowly pulled his face down and into her bare, amply full cleavage. Hearty shouts of encouragement arose from the fellow tablemates. I glanced at Riona and was immediately glad she was no longer afflicted with her father's 'taint'. In strictly a mortal form, her ire was reputed to be formidable, and right now she didn't look any too happy.

"Let me show you our 'zoom-in' feature," Waukeen said and magically centered the scene in closer range. Anomen's face couldn't be seen at all. It was buried between the vixen's bare breasts.

"Oh," huffed Riona, totally incensed. "I cannot believe what I am seeing! I.. I wish she had horns, and a beard, and.. and.. hair on her chest! I bet he wouldn't have his nose buried in her breasts then!" To say she was furious at the sight before us was an understatement. Especially since it appeared that Anomen was providing no resistance to the blatant 'assault' upon him.

"Ah," said Waukeen. "Excellent idea!" And with a wave of her hand the young woman was immediately adorned with a full beard, visible chest hair matted across her breasts, and a set of beautiful horns worthy of any prize Hereford bull. Anomen immediately withdrew and looked up at her in horror. Father and Sir Ryan were equally shocked, as was the rest of the table. The young woman quickly resumed her standing position as Anomen instinctively lifted her up and set her on her feet.

Waukeen, Riona, and I, in turn, burst into laughter. In the blink of an eye, Waukeen quickly waved her hand and changed the young woman back to her original buxom form. The witnesses blinked, looked at each other saying nothing, then rubbed their eyes, not sure whether they were the victims of a mass illusion or putrid ale. We laughed even more as Anomen shook his head and turned away when she again approached him.

"Mother, where is Hendak?" I asked anxiously. "I don't see him anywhere."

"Well, Daughter, my guess is that since he is the guest of honor, he is…" She was scanning the picture to and fro, in and out, trying to pinpoint his location. "Right here."

He was apparently sitting on a chair, but all I could see was a pair of boots – his boots. The balance of his physical person was covered over with five young women and I couldn't see anything else of him.

I was suddenly transformed into the green-eyed monster that I had counseled so many of my patients to fight against becoming. "Hendak, how could you dally so with such… such… beautiful young women!" I yelled at the mirror, not consciously realizing how truly silly and irrational I sounded. "Mother! Do something!"

"Very well," she snickered as she waved her hand. Each one of the young women grew a squiggly pink tail, a snout and a cute pair of piggy ears. They all backed off from Hendak and began snorting. He sat on the chair, shirt unbuttoned and pulled free of his trousers that also held his now loosened belt. The look on his face was sheer shock and disbelief at what he was seeing. Within the moment he blinked, the young women returned to their natural voluptuous beauty. The young dancers looked at each other and then at him. They pow-wowed for a moment amongst themselves before cautiously continuing more sedate attentions to him. 'At least their zeal is gone,' I thought.

The music continued on for several minutes as the women made their rounds insuring each man a moment of unshared and undivided attention. As I watched their ministrations, I was sure beyond a shadow of a doubt they must all be priestesses and clerics of Sharess. In my mind, they had to be. The band soon stopped, however, and the young women politely extricated themselves from whatever activity in which they were engaged and moved to the side of the room. Once the women were in place, the musicians struck up a different song. Even more spellbinding than the others that went before.

From the side door Bernard appeared with a tall multi-tiered cake on a flat handcart. I had at least heard of this custom, and figured it to be the main attraction. I had been told that the star dancer was always relegated to the inside of a hollow cake. It was her job to ceremoniously 'pop out' the top of the cake and 'entertain' the guest of honor at the appropriate time. I just didn't know if I could watch this, whether Hendak was interested or not, it didn't matter. I covered my eyes as Mother Waukeen read my thoughts.

"Not to worry, dear Daughter," she chuckled. "Watch this."

The music changed and became even more sensuous and heady as the cake was wheeled out in front of the table where all four men now sat. More cat calls and whistles rose up from the expectant crowd. They all knew what was coming, or rather they thought they did.

The top popped off and suddenly the most beautiful nude maiden appeared. Well, beautiful for an orc maiden. She lumbered out the side of the cake crashing into a nearby table sending the eight men hurrying to safety.

"What is this!" we heard Anomen yell, his words slightly slurred. "I paid good coin for Katrine, the best joy dancer in all of Amn to be in that cake. What in nine hells happened to her! Where is she? This isn't her! This is some.. some.. impostor, and by the Gods, a butt-ugly one at that!" From the look on Anomen's face, I thought he might begin retching at any moment.

"I think," Father said loudly looking about and perking his senses, "I think there is strong magic here. I can sense it. I can feel it." As badly as his speech was slurred, I was surprised he could sense anything outside the mug of ale in his hand. He looked about the room as the guests grumbled amongst themselves and the orc stumbled about in bewilderment.

"Oh, dear, Children. We've been found out," said Waukeen and immediately waved her hand. The young orc maiden returned to the exotic Katrine as she was when she climbed into the cake. "Tabor has found us out. Time for us to leave the men to their festive encounters in privacy. But one last thing before we go…." She waved her hand again yet there were no visible signs of whatever she had done. She quickly waved her hand again and the mirror darkened and returned to being just the mirror over the buffet.

"There," she smiled. "All done. And do not worry. None of our loved ones will be able to get into too much trouble. I've taken away all sense of desire in their, er, more sensitive parts for the next several hours. But I must warn you both, when it returns, it will return with a very bountiful wellspring, to be sure, so be prepared."

We all giggled. Pay back in the morning would be such a bitch.

Waukeen, Riona, and I had all agreed before retiring that even if we were tortured, we would never confess to knowing anything of what happened that evening at the Coronet. Our little intrusion and Waukeen's meddling in the men's fun would forever be our secret. There was a very small part of me that actually regretted eavesdropping on their party. I didn't honestly know if I was any wiser now that I knew what occurred at these occasions, or if my jealousy and curiosity had simply gotten the better of me. I concluded that the little twinge of guilt I felt was because of the latter.

One more day until the wedding, I thought as I lay in bed awaiting my husband-to-be to return from his 'men's soirée'. Riona and Anomen had graciously accepted Father's invitation to stay at the house until after the union ritual and, it looked like Sir Ryan was also going to take up temporary residence, as well. I soon heard the door to our bedchamber open and a weaving, unsteady Hendak tried to quietly traverse the distance to our bed.

"My love?" I said.

"Yesssss, it is I," he said, his speech unclear, even through his normal accent. "Your love hasss survived.. er, I mean hasss arrived." He lightly stumbled and fell onto the bed, his feet and legs partially hanging over the edge. He wasn't moving.

"Your shirt, Hendak?"

"What shirt?" His smile reflected in the shadows of the room. He was missing his shirt, one boot, at least one sock, and his belt. "I'm not sssure where I left it, my love," he mumbled but still didn't move. I got up and pulled off the other boot, removed his trousers and desperately tried to ignore the lip rouge that repeatedly marked his body as I remembered what Waukeen had said. I rolled him up and over to his side of the bed and covered him. Morning would be here soon enough and I could only imagine that even demigods suffered the morning after too much drink the night before. That and the other problem he was going to have, thanks to her.

The next day was busy. After a round of minor healings from Anomen, the men were feeling much better. Father volunteered to go to the Church and see that all was readied there as we were slated to rehearse the ritual late in the afternoon and the actual ceremony would take place the next day at mid-afternoon sharp. The reception would follow at the great house. The hall and the garden were being readied even now with tables and chairs and other decorations.

It was soon late afternoon and we gathered to go to rehearsal. Seer Marybeth would meet us at the Church and it would be her duty to inform the Church's Clergy that Waukeen would be attending and why. She would also caution them on the necessity of the secrecy of Waukeen's attendance until such time She would reveal herself during the ceremony. Seer Marybeth Fatewatch was so good at that type of thing.

Hamblen Davenport, High Priest of The Church of Waukeen, Athkatla, personally greeted us. He was a tall man, very stately with a commanding voice. He would be performing the Union, if he could quit fawning over Waukeen long enough to remember the rite itself and why he was there.

We walked through the ritual, Seer Marybeth keeping a watchful eye from the wings as the acolytes showed us where to stand and when. It wasn't a lengthy or complicated ordeal and we all enjoyed going through the motions. Tomorrow it would be for real and the tenor in the excitement was already building. As I watched Hendak going through the motions, I couldn't help but think, 'tomorrow at this time, we will be joined'. I wanted to cry from the burgeoning joy, but didn't dare for fear I would not be able to stop.

We were finally finished and everyone knew their respective parts – what to say and when, where to stand. We retired back to the house where the last of the arrangements were being put into place for the reception. Drusay had arranged a lovely dinner for us all and we feasted on braised pheasant and sansou soufflé. Everyone was giddy with excitement and the wine and the laughter both flowed freely.

Gernsey had made special cloudberry truffles with a splash of port for desert. I had second portions of the wickedly delicious little morsels, as I was even more ravenous than usual. "Are you sure your dress will fit tomorrow?" Hendak teased me. "Wouldn't want you popping out of it at the most inopportune of moments."

"Um-hum," I replied with my mouth full of the gooey treat. "And if my dress should meet with such an unfortunate fate, then, so be it."

The next day dawned brighter and clearer than I had ever seen before. The new bells at the Church of Waukeen were heard ringing throughout the city precisely at mid-morn signaling a major event of the day as well as calling the faithful. It was our event.

Riona, Charona and my chambermaid helped me dress while we were still at the great house. The conversations ran from Riona growing up at Candlekeep to the first time I met Hendak. Charona shared some of her memories of home when she was a little girl before the slavers took her, and her parents killed. The range of emotions swung from tears of sadness to hysterical laughter.

Waukeen came and kept us company for a while as well. She would go to the Church early and be cloistered in a small room to the side of the altar until the time when she would step forward and give her son in the ritual. She had decided it would be less disruptive overall, as it was our day, and though her appearance was going to bring a decidedly marked reaction, she wanted to minimize it as much as possible.

The men were gathered in Father's private parlor most of the day sipping on brandy and brandishing stories that were half-truths. They had long since dressed in their own finery and worried about nothing more than a few drops of the brown liquor on their white tunics that Father quickly dispelled for them. They left for the Church before we did and took Drusay and Guernsey with them at Father's suggestion.

Our carriage arrived and Riona, Charona, and I climbed in. The beautiful silk folds in my dress as well as Riona and Charona's dresses made it difficult for all of us to fit, but we finally nestled in nicely.

With a little divine guidance, Jershua had created a true work of art. Charona was fearful of my dress becoming soiled. "No, watch, Charona. Waukeen enchanted it this morning." I took her shoe and rubbed the bottom of it on my skirt. The blackened mark immediately disappeared. "I may not be invulnerable, but my dress is," I explained and we all laughed yet again, the giddy emotions seeming to bind us all in the spell of the day.

When we arrived we were directed through a side entrance into a room off the vestibule at the back of the Church. It was comfortable with appropriate seating, and we could primp a little more here, if need be. I thanked Charona and sent her to find her seat among the 300 or so of Amn's elite who had arrived and patiently awaited the beginning of the ritual.

"How much longer?" I asked. I was getting nervous and impatient.

"About a half-hour," replied Riona. She looked beautiful in her platinum-colored dress. The star ruby set at the bosom generously surrounded with sprays of platinum pearls bespoke the dress's opulence and Waukeen's generosity. Her beautiful dark red hair was loosely braided on the sides with platinum pearls intertwined and pulled back into a long rolled curl that was showcased by the near backless design.

She rearranged my veil for the one-thousandth time as I fidgeted with the white roses and Father's gardenias I carried in my bouquet.

"Oh, Glory, Anomen finally asked me to marry him," she said rather sheepishly. "I should have said something sooner, but I just wanted it to be me and you when I told you, and I really didn't have the opportunity before now."

"Oh, Riona, that is wonderful!" I said trying to feign surprise through my own mounting jitters. "When did this happen?"

"The other night after their little party," she went on to explain. "He could hardly speak to where I could understand what he was saying.." There was a tone of reticence in her voice.

"And?"

"I said yes." She then smiled. "He said he realized I was the only woman for him. You don't think Waukeen's little spell just before we 'left' had anything to do with that, do you? That with no desire for those women, he may have thought"

"No, Riona," I quickly interrupted her. "I don't believe that at all. I am sure he was being truthful in his feelings. You ARE the only woman for him and you know it."

"It is time, ladies," Seer Marybeth was at the door to the vestibule. We walked into the vestibule as she opened the outer door leading to the aisle into the Church proper. Riona stood in front of me listening for the harpists to begin. I could see Father standing across the vestibule, waiting until he would meet me at the head of the aisle to escort me to the altar.

"Riona, did you set a date?" I whispered. The harps began their chorus.

"Two months, more or less. Not an exact date yet." She smiled as she began her walk down the aisle between the long rows of newly restored pews filled with humans, elves, half-elves, halfings, gnomes, and others of Amn and Faerun. All eyes turned to watch her advance in time with the music.

I walked out and met my Father. He looked so handsome in his white tunic and white pants, his silver and black hair brushed neatly back. He wore the royal blue sash of a ranking wizard of the Cowled Wizards with his own personal, distinguishing runes and markings. A tear formed in his dark eyes as we approached each other and he lovingly leaned over and kissed my cheek. He quickly dabbed at his eye with a gloved finger then took my hand to lead me down the aisle where Hendak stood watching and waiting.

The harpists continued to play, and as I neared, I saw how devastatingly handsome my future husband looked in his brilliant white suit with gold and platinum piping. He smiled at me and literally took my breath away. Anomen stood directly to his right bearing the box with the amulet as well as the simple gold band Hendak had gotten for my ritual ring. He looked nervous compared to Hendak. Directly to his right stood Sir Ryan, ready to assist Father, should the need arise. Waukeen had chosen not to select a Standing Woman and consequently the space directly to the left of Riona was conspicuously empty. Hamblen Davenport, High Priest, and four other Priests, two on each side, stood in front of the little group awaiting my arrival. As we had rehearsed, Father and I stopped short of the altar.

"We are here today to perform the High Rites of the Blessed Union for the Union Ritual of MorningGlory, daughter of Tabor and Calisen Gaeston, and Hendak, son of Haan and our Goddess Waukeen." The Priest's voice resounded forcefully throughout the Church and an intense but low whispering immediately erupted at the pronouncement of the name 'Waukeen.' The Priest paused only a moment to allow his proclamation to sink in.

"Who gives MorningGlory to this Blessed Union?" asked Hamblen Davenport.

Father led me the remaining three meters and put my hand in Hendak's hand. He genuinely smiled at him as he did, and then turned to face the Priest.

"I, Tabor Gaeston, her Father, do," he replied in a loud clear voice. Sir Ryan slotted over one spot as he stepped over to the right of Anomen and took his place.

"Who gives Hendak to this Blessed Union?" asked Hamblen Davenport.

The Goddess Waukeen emerged from the small room off the side of the altar and walked to the center. She wore no veil and her beautiful face and true identity was open for all to see.

"I, the Goddess Waukeen, his Mother, do," she replied in a strong melodious voice then picked up Hendak's other hand and placed it in mine. And then she took her place beside Riona.

Immediate gasps and shrieks rose up from the crowd. I could hear the rustle of murmurings and whispers running rampant behind me. 'Waukeen.' 'It's really Waukeen.' 'It's our Goddess.' 'It's a miracle.' 'Waukeen has really returned.' 'Hendak is really Waukeen's son.' Hamblen Davenport wisely waited for a few moments that the crowd could compose itself. The Priest then very audibly cleared his throat and continued with the ritual, and we all dutifully executed our parts just as we had rehearsed. All was flowing seamlessly.

We were just getting to the part where we were to exchange our pledges when I heard a loud booming voice from the back of the Church.

"Boo! Come back here!" came the wail. Everyone turned to stare in disbelief at the one responsible for interrupting the solemn ceremony of the High Rites.

We turned to look and from descriptions I had read in Anomen's journal, I knew it could only be a man named Minsc, his blue circular tattoo visibly prominent even at this distance. He was standing in the second from the last pew, and I could only guess he was referring to "Boo," his furry rodent pet hamster.

Anomen visibly groaned and immediately covered his face. I heard him say, "Oh, dear Gods, Boo is loose."

By the Gods! As if the shock of seeing Waukeen in person wasn't enough, Boo was loose among 300 plus people who probably didn't know what a hamster was! The thought gripped me almost instantaneously with an impending feeling of doom.

"Aahhhh!" A blood-curdling scream ripped through the stillness of the church. I looked to see the prim and proper Lady Cutthope crumpling into a well-dressed mound of human flesh as she fainted dead and away between the fifth and sixth row of pews. I could only assume she didn't know what a hamster was, and had just been rudely introduced to one for the first time. I audibly groaned as the worst-case scenario swept across my mind. A vision of rioting, rampant churchgoers with various heaps of fallen faithful scattered about the main chamber suddenly clouded my thoughts.

Hendak squeezed my hand and winked at me, his eyes filled with a twinkle. "Well, my love, I can see our wedding will live in everyone's memory for a very long time to come."

Yes, just what I wanted to be remembered for, I thought our guests being terrorized by a tiny rodent running amok.

TO BE CONTINUED…….


	13. Chapter XI Part 1

**The Angst and the Analyst**

From the Journals and Papers of Dr. MorningGlory Gaeston

(Rated PG-13: Adult themes, mild language, mild violence, rampant hamsters)

Chapter XI – Part 1

As if on cue, the fifth row, left side, all stood in a wave. With terror-filled faces, and their attention turned to their feet, a hideous cacophony of shrill screams and wails cut through the room. I could only imagine that Boo was traversing the twenty, or so, pairs of boots and ladies shoes to escape to the other end. Two of the females, a human and an elf, became casualties two and three thereby joining the ranks of the unconscious as they slumped back upon the pew, propped head-to-head. Concerned spouses fanned at them and patted their hands in an attempt to revive them. Sitting directly next to them, and certainly not to be outdone, Lady Smythe was immediately overtaken with the onset of hyperventilation.

Upon seeing this, a very concerned Sir Ryan leaned over to his son. "Anomen," he whispered. "What kind of devil is causing this mayhem? A demon loosed from the abyss? This is most serious, I fear."

"No," moaned Anomen and shook his head. "It is a small animal, a pet of our friend Minsc. It, unfortunately, resembles a fairly large rat but is light brown in color, and it is harmless."

"Oh my," blinked Sir Ryan and scratched unconsciously at his ear. "Doesn't sound like the most dignified task for a Knight, but I guess our duty is clear. Come, Son, help your Father with this unseemly chore of rounding up the little wildling before this problem gets out of hand." The two quickly abandoned their stations at the altar and bounded down the middle aisle.

It was easy to spot the Knights of the Order in the crowd. They were immaculately dressed in the Order's formal dress whites with appropriate crimson and gold trim. Sir Ryan rapidly motioned to Sir Keldorn, Sir Fahey, Sir Malcolm, Sir Conrad, and Sir Hennley. They immediately sprang from their seats and met father and son in the center aisle, small weapons drawn. Amn's finest was ready to deal with loosed terror.

From where he still stood in the back, Minsc could see the various short blades poised for action and, duly alarmed, shouted above the crowd, "NO! Do not hurt Boo! Do not be afraid! Boo is a friendly hamster!" With a wave of Sir Ryan's hand, the weapons were quickly sheathed and the Knights, plus one, immediately fanned out with orders to go row to row in search of the errant little animal. Few of the congregation were still seated which made the search difficult for the hamster-hunting crusaders. I glanced to Hendak beside me who was holding his hand over his mouth trying vainly to suppress a well-developed chortle.

Suddenly, off to the far left, a tall, rotund woman shrieked and sprung gingerly from the end of her pew and into the side aisle. She was instantly entranced in a jiggling, risqué dance as she quickly pulled her skirts and petticoats up around her hips and shook them side-to-side. With her pantaloons and bare legs so shamelessly exposed during her gyrations, it vaguely resembled the performance by the resident, albeit much more shapely, dancers at the Veils. Suddenly a squealing, brown fur ball tumbled down and out from inside her petticoats. She screamed at the top of her lungs as Boo hit the floor running under the next pew.

Sir Conrad and Sir Hennley had quickly pushed their way through the crowd to the woman but arrived seconds too late to capture the rodent imp. Still holding her skirts up around her waist, her eyes closed as she gasped and fell backwards in a dead faint. Fortunately, or unfortunately, she fell directly into Sir Conrad's arms. For all his strength, however, he was no match for the 250 pounds of feminine dead weight, or the momentum it created, as he teetered backward, lost his balance, and the tandem bodies crashed to the floor. He was inextricably eclipsed under her and all that could be seen of him were his frantically flailing arms from under the sprawled unconscious flesh.

She had become victim numberfour,and Sir Hennley quickly deduced that Sir Conrad would become number five, if he wasn't quickly rescued. There was no way the young knight could be breathing under there.

Momentarily perplexed at how to save his young friend from possible suffocation and still retain the lady's dignity, Sir Hennley finally grasped the poor woman's skirts with both hands, and, with a firm yank, pulled them down to a respectable level. Then with a mighty heave, he rolled her away and to the side. Sir Conrad lay stunned on the floor as he desperately gasped for air to re-inflate his lungs. Sir Hennley pulled him to his feet as the two briefly debated whether to leave the poor woman where she now lay, facedown, or risk further mishap by moving her out of the aisle. With some help from the woman's rather spindly husband, they were finally able to move her from harm's way and unceremoniously propped her against the decorative marble column adorning the wall.

From his place at the altar, Hamblen Davenport sensed the growing seriousness of the situation and hurriedly began dispensing various healers to the 'fallen'. A handful of purple-garbed Priests and clerics poured forth into the crowd to revive and heal the wounded and near-wounded. "Free of charge," he leaned over and whispered. Church politics, I thought, as I was sure he was hoping to garner favor with his patron Goddess.

I quickly surveyed our little group at the altar, thinking one of them might have a quicker solution than waiting for the Knights to capture Boo.

"Father, Father! Can't you do something? A spell or something?" I leaned around a now-giggling Hendak and whispered loudly. Father was standing frozen in place with his mouth agape. The look of horror transfixed on his face told me he did not believe what he was seeing. He was too stupefied to answer me.

Hendak had now started to laugh aloud. "Hendak, how can you laugh at a time like this?" I asked him indignantly. "Our ritual is in shambles!"

"I'm.. I'm sorry my love. Because…," he said between now uncontrollable guffaws, "It really is funny! Just look and see what one harmless little creature has done to the finest of Amn! He has done what no god or goddess could ever do he has broughtthem to their knees…." I pursed my lips and scowled at him. This was NOT funny.

"Mother Waukeen," I turned my attention to the other side of Riona. "Can you do something? Wave your hand, a spell, do something?"

She, too, stood in shock with her mouth agape, her hands framing her face.

"What in nine hells is a 'hamster?" she finally asked, shaking her head side to side. For a Goddess in her own Church, she was going to be no help at all, I concluded. It looked like possible assistance from Father and Mother Waukeen was not going to be an alternative to restore order and dignity to our Union Ritual. I looked at Riona.

"Riona?"

Gazing wide-eyed at the swirling, hysterical crowd, she said nothing and just shook her head slowly from side to side in unison with Waukeen. The bizarre scene unfolding in front of us had mesmerized them all. All but Hendak. His laughter simply grew louder.

I again looked out across the discordant crowd. Many of the people were now climbing upon the pews as they sought the safety of higher ground. In addition, most of the ladies had begun pulling up their skirts to varying degrees in the hopes of preventing a repetition of victim number four's fate. We at the altar were suddenly graced with the vision of a multitude of stocking tops and garters, bulbous middle-aged thighs, and various styles of pantaloons. Some of the younger ladies wore no pantaloons at all, leaving it to the imagination as to what exactly, if anything, was further up their skirts. Hendak took one look and could contain himself no more. He threw back his head and roared.

Meanwhile, Minsc rushed from lady to lady standing on the pews, quickly shaking and examining their various skirts and slips calling, "Boo, are you in there?" "Come out of there, Boo!" Several distraught women greeted him firmly with prayer books over his head, while others were so in shock they had no opportunity to take umbrage with his very ungentleman-like attentions being paid their person. His cursory, and unorthodox, search, however, yielded nothing but more animosity and chaos.

"Over here!" An excited shout from a man in the far back corner briefly caught everyone's attention.

"No, he's over here!" yelled another from the other side of the room closer to the front.

More shrieks and screams as the din from the people rose in direct proportion to the confusion and mayhem. The mood was heating up and the people were beginning to panic. If Boo wasn't found and subdued soon, we were going to have a real riot on our hands. Just what the newly refurbished Church of Waukeen needed, I thought. Not to mention that the gossip-mongers were going to have a field day with this one! And my darling almost-almost-husband was now standing at my side beset with uncontrollable, howling laughter.

The expert defenders of the realm had unsuccessfully made an initial sweep of the main floor and had returned to the back where Sir Ryan had dispersed Sir Keldorn and Sir Fahey to the far right side, he and Anomen took the far left, and the now-recovered Sir Conrad, Sir Malcolm, and Sir Hennley were relegated to the center aisle. The idea seemed to be to flush out Boo and capture him as he took flight in whatever direction.

The Knights had begun their concerted efforts in earnest while the attendant priests and clerics tried to exercise some crowd control by urging calm and restraint. Both desperately tried to personally reassure the people that the situation was well in hand and there was no reason to panic. It was then that I saw him.

Shooting from under the third pew from the back on the left hand side, the small brown blur headed full-throttle down the main aisle toward the front of the Church. The three Knights assigned to the center engaged in hot pursuit, Sir Conrad in the lead. Feeling he had Boo within his grasp, the young Knight dove head first at the furry rodent barely missing his target by scant centimeters. Unable to halt their forward advance, Sir Malcolm and Sir Hennley collided, tripped and crashed directly on top of him. It was a three-layer, horizontal review of the Order's finest with poor Sir Conrad again flirting with disaster at the bottom of the deck.

Minsc immediately converged on the thrashing, twisted pile of Knights. "Boo, are you under there? Boo, are you a hamster pancake now?" he yelled down at them, seemingly through them. He then picked up each individual Knight and righted him on his feet. "No Boo pancake," he shook his head looking at the barren floor after he carefully propped a dazed Sir Conrad up against Sir Hennley. It was the second time the young man had the wind pressed from him. I wondered if the Order would grant him some meritorious award for the broken ribs and other injuries he, no doubt, had sustained this day in the line of duty. As strange as the Order could be, they might just charge him double coin for the damage done to his dress uniform. From where I stood, it was not even salvageable. All the while the brown ball of fur continued to zip in and around the people standing in the center aisle as he made his way closer to the alter.

And, Hendak was now laughing so hard, he was red-faced and doubled over. I was now so annoyed with him, I contemplated planting my slippered foot firmly into his backside facing me.

The casualty list grew instantaneously with victims five and six when Boo scurried across two women's feet as they stood transfixed mid-way in the center aisle. Boo was slightly jarred, yet undaunted, as one of the falling bodies barely missed him, landing with a loud thud on the carpet. It was now very apparent his destination was the altar and he was moving as fast as his four little legs would carry him to where we stood.

He was headed straight for Riona and hot on his heels were the now recovered Knights, the remaining Knights, and a throng of Amn's finest citizenry. The Knights had again drawn their small weapons, and the citizenry were armed with everything from walking canes to prayer books. I damn near panicked watching the crushing hoard of people charging up the center aisle with Boo narrowly in the lead. Hendak was now bright purple as he grasped his sides. His convulsive fit of laughing hysteria had become near silent because of its intensity.

Boo's momentum carried him up the few steps to the altar and as he spent the last of his inertia in one grand leap, Riona instinctively dropped her flowers and bent down to scoop him up in mid-air.

Everyone froze. There was dead silence. The mass of people had halted just short of the altar and everything and everyone had stopped in mid-motion. The only thing that could be heard were a few uncontained snorts and snickers from Hendak as he desperately fought to hold back his crowning belly laugh.

Riona held the little animal to her chest and instinctively cradled him rocking from side to side. "It's okay, Boo. You're safe now. No one will hurt you." Her voice was like velvet in the sudden stillness and she petted him gently. He nuzzled his head into the crook of her arm and twittered loudly. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

The threat was contained, the mass hysteria abruptly abated. The Knights and the mass of people sheathed weapons, lowered walking canes and relaxed their prayer books.

"So that's a hamster," said Waukeen. She thoughtfully peered down at him and Father immediately ran to her side.

"My darling Waukeen, are you alright?" He was most concerned, albeit a little late.

"Oh, yes, Tabor," she replied. "I just have never seen a 'hamster' before. Interesting little creature…A pet, you say…..."

Minsc came running up, pushing his way through the limpid crowd. "Boo! Are you all right? Did anyone hurt you?" Boo lifted his head and chittered loudly to Minsc.

"I am sorry, Riona," Minsc began as he stood at the altar with his face red against hispurple tattoo. He then turned to me, "And, Mistress Glory, Boo is sorry he disrupted your ritual. He just wanted to be closer to see what goes on. He has never been to a union ritual before, and certainly not such a fancy one." He paused. "He is very embarrassed for his actions, as am I." Minsc hung his head, and as I looked at Boo's little furry face, I could have sworn I saw a slight blush as well.

"It is alright, Minsc," I said. I couldn't be angry with this simple, sweet man. He had put his life on the line to free Hendak and many others from slavery, and was at least indirectly responsible for my happiness this day. "I know Boo meant no harm. Perhaps you and Boo could sit closer as we conclude the ritual. That way he can better see, and so can you."

"I can assist with that," offered Waukeen and with a wave of her hand, two chairs appeared midway between the front pew and us. Waukeen seemed to have a thing with chairs, I thought. "Ring side seats for you, sir, and your wonderful little beast." Minsc gently took Boo from Riona. He didn't even squirm in the big man's hands as he continued to twitter.

"Oh, thank you, lovely Goddess Waukeen for your kindness. And Boo thanks you, too!" and he respectfully bowed in appreciation. He arose and Waukeen reached out and gently rubbed Boo's head. He twittered again. "Be nice, Boo!" Minsc whispered loudly, "Mistress Waukeen is a real Goddess! You should be honored she would even touch your furry head, especially after you have behaved so badly!"

As Minsc walked to their chairs, Waukeen leaned over to me. "Such a darling pet, dear Daughter…We must get two of those for the twins!" Egads, I thought. In light of what just occurred, what a perfectly horrible, horrible idea.

Stepping up on the first step adjacent to the center aisle, Sir Ryan turned to the crowd and in his most authoritative voice directed everyone to again take their seats, that the 'threat' was over, and as soon as full order was restored, Hamblen Davenport could continue the ritual. The crowd began to slowly return to their original seats and to the solemnity prior to the mayhem. Sir Ryan and Anomen resumed their positions at the altar, as did Father. And, Hendak had regained his composure.

As the clerics finished the last of their restorations of the fallen faithful and resumed their stations, Hamblen Davenport cleared his throat and looked out over the crowd. All was as it should be and proper awe and respect was again in control of everyone's senses.

"We shall now conclude the Blessed Union, as accorded by our Church of the Goddess Waukeen," he said in his booming voice and looked down at Hendak and me.

Up to now it was fairytale frills with a minor, well, maybe major, interruption. Now was the time of serious commitment where I promised my heart, my love, and my fidelity in mind, body, and spirit to Hendak and he would promise his in return. This was the real ritual. This was the real bonding. This was what was important.

"MorningGlory, will you now make your solemn promise to Hendak?" prompted the Priest. I turned to look into the most beautiful eyes in Toril.

"I, MorningGlory Gaeston, daughter of Tabor Gaeston," I said in a high clear voice, "promise before these witnesses and the Goddess Waukeen, to love you, to honor you, and to keep our coupled bonding safe and holy throughout my life until my last breath. And, if the Gods so grant, beyond."

"The Gods so grant," the crowd echoed solemnly in the ritual beseechment of the Gods granting our union beyond death. One harpist sounded a single chord.

"I promise to care for you, to comfort you, and protect you. And if the Gods so grant, beyond."

"The Gods so grant," chanted the crowd. Two harpists sounded two harmonic chords.

"I promise to love, nurture, and protect our children, and to keep the love of our family as part of my soul. And, if the Gods so grant, beyond."

"The Gods so grant," the crowd spoke in supplication of our family ties extending beyond our mortal existence. Three harpists sounded three harmonic chords in unison.

I turned to Riona and she held out the gold band I had specially made for Hendak. I took it from her and turned to him. Father had emblazoned it with a rune of faithful heart. I kissed it to sanction it and handed it to Priest Davenport. He pronounced the Church's blessing upon it and returned it to me.

I looked into Hendak's beaming face. I had not realized it but my own eyes were beginning to well with tears of joy. This half-man, half-god and all he was, was my destiny. From this day forward throughout all of time, he and I would be one together.

"This ring bears my heart to you for your safekeeping. Guard it, and all I give to you this day, well," I said softly and slipped it on his finger. It briefly glowed and sized to fit his finger. He smiled at me and took his finger to brush an errant tear from my cheek. We turned to the Priest.

"Hendak, will you now make your solemn promise to MorningGlory?" he again prompted. Again, we turned to face each other.

"I, Hendak, Son of the Goddess Waukeen, promise before these witnesses and my Mother, the Goddess Waukeen, to love you, to honor you, and to keep our coupled bonding safe and holy throughout my life until my last breath. And, if the Gods so grant, beyond." His voice was loud and clear as he spoke from his heart.

Again the crowd responded, "The Gods so grant," and a single chord was heard from one harpist.

"I promise to care for you, to comfort you, and protect you. And, if the Gods so grant, beyond."

"The Gods so grant," chanted the crowd. Again, two harpists were heard in harmonic unity.

"I promise to love, nurture, and protect our children, and to keep the love of our family as part of my soul. And, if the Gods so grant, beyond."

"The Gods so grant," the crowd echoed. Three harpists were heard.

He turned to Anomen who delivered the fine gold ring with a similar rune of faithful heart. Hendak took it, kissed it and gave it to the Priest. The Priest pronounced the blessing and returned it to him. He picked up my hand and gently placed the ring on my finger.

"This ring bears my heart to you for your safekeeping. Guard it, and all I give to you this day, well," he said in the most gentle, loving voice I had ever heard him speak.

He turned again to Anomen and retrieved the amulet from the box. He kissed it and handed it to the Priest.

Hamblen Davenport held it up for all to see and began to speak.

"A gift from the Goddess Waukeen to her Daughter and her Son," and he spoke a separate blessing. He gently returned it to Hendak. Hendak took the amulet and put it around my neck. It felt strangely warm on my neck as it began to slightly radiate. An iridescent aura began to emanate from it and fill the air until it perfectly enfolded us in a singular supernatural light. Hushed 'oohs,' and 'ahs' could be heard from the crowd. Undaunted, the Priest spoke.

"May this Blessed Union be protected from that which is evil and wicked. May this Blessed Union be blessed and written into the Church of Waukeen's Book of Blessed Unions. May this Blessed Union be recognized by all the Gods, and all creatures of this plane and others. And, if the Gods so grant, beyond."

"The Gods so grant," the crowd cheered in unison signifying the ritual was complete. We were now one in the sight of all beings and all things.

Hendak cupped my face with his hands and kissed me. A long, endearing, passionate kiss.

The crowd cheered as the low melodious horns stationed on the mezzanine around the perimeter of the Church sounded their chorus and were soon joined in exultation by the harps. The bells in the steeples rang out. It was a symphony of joyous sounds and revelry.

We turned to face the ecstatic, jubilant applauding crowd. Even Boo jumped up and down on his chair in excitement.

I looked at Riona, tears evident in her eyes. Mother Waukeen had an iridescent streak down her left cheek. I turned to the other side of our party.

Father was beaming, his eyes misted over as well, as he heartily clapped his hands. Sir Ryan was joyously laughing as was Anomen, and they too, were engaged in enthusiastic applause.

"Go forth into Toril and beyond, and be known as one," the Priest called over the jubilation of the crowd thereby giving us our permission to leave. The formalities were concluded.

Hendak took my arm and we began the walk down the center aisle to the back of the Church. The rest of our party followed suit. Two men graciously swung open the huge double doors and as we walked out into the bright sunlight, we were greeted with a hundred white doves flying in concert overhead, no doubt a 'gift' from another God or Goddess to the Son of their friend, the Goddess Waukeen.

We walked down the walkway to the waiting open carriage and the crowd began to spill out behind us. I could still hear the horns and the harps playing the joyous exodus march from the Church's open doors. Hendak stopped me just short of the street.

"I will love you forever, my love, my wife," he said and put his arms around me and kissed me.

"As will I always love you, my love, my husband," I replied. The words 'my husband' had such a magical ring to my ears. The crowd sent up a hearty roar of approval and began to scatter the blossoms of the sweet honey flowers to the wind. It suddenly smelled like Mother Waukeen everywhere.

We boarded the carriage and began the short trip home. After all of that, it was time to have some serious fun. And some serious food. All of the excitement had made me ravenous again.

To Be Continued……


	14. Chapter XI Part 2

**The Angst and the Analyst**

From the Journals and Papers of Dr. MorningGlory Gaeston

(Rated PG-13: Adult themes, sexual situations, mild language, mild violence, brief nudity)

Chapter XI – Part 2

Additional servants greeted our little processional of carriages as we reached the great house. Father was insistent that Drusay and Gernsey be guests, as they were 'family', not 'workers', and had secured many stewards and waitpersons for the reception. Gernsey was still concerned about the food, however, and was able to convince Father to let her peek into the kitchen on occasion – just to make sure all was going well and up to her impeccable standards. The great hall was decorated with festive flowers and silk and taffeta streamers. There was just enough room to comfortably accommodate our 300-plus guests in the great hall.

The orchestra was set up just outside the large glass-paned doors to the garden and an expansive dance floor had been erected for the guests' pleasure after the banquet. Festive lanterns had been hung that would lend their soft gentle light once the daylight faded and the full moon rose over the east wall. Filled with lush roses and fragrant gardenias, Father's exotic garden was probably his most favorite pastime. Well, up until a tenday, or so, ago when he made Waukeen's acquaintance.

We had greeted each guest individually upon their arrival and they were properly escorted to their seats for the grand banquet. Exotic foods from the four corners of Faerun filled long tables and wait staff in red velvet jackets, crisp white shirts, and black breeches served every imaginable wine and liquor to the jovial crowd. An overseer stood unobtrusively at the side and dutifully watched his chargesgo about filling everyone's whim and fancy. A non-clerical Marybeth Fatewatch, I thought as I watched him, but interested in the fulfillment of the physical needs, as opposed to the spiritual needs.

All had arrived and we finally took our place at the head table. I had been starving since we left the Church, and I urged Father most directly to be on with it. He stood, called for attention and the grand room respectfully quieted to listen.

He raised his glass of champagne. "I want to thank you all for being with us on such a grand and glorious day, the occasion of my daughter MorningGlory's blessed union with Hendak, son of the lovely Goddess Waukeen." Sitting next to him, he respectfully bowed his head to her, and ever so sweetly she smiled up at him. "And it is with the greatest of pleasure I would propose a toast to my Daughter and new Son – to a blessed and happy union filled with the laughter of love and faithful devotion."

"Here, here," Sir Ryan chimed in, lifted his glass and rose to his feet beside Father. The crowd rose in unison and a resounding "Here, here!" echoed through the house followed by the sound of tinkling glass. It was official. The feasting could begin, and not a moment too soon for me. It was noisy, it was jubilant, and it was delicious.

The chaos of just a few hours earlier was long forgotten with the food and drink, and Boo even converted a few of the timid as Minsc carefully introduced him to the more curious seated around him. A few brave souls even attempted to feed the little imp. And, under the direction of his master, Boo actually engaged a few guests in a trick or two. I even noticed Minsc attempting to make amends by dancing with Lady Smythe a bit later. For a rather large man, he was most agile and not clumsy at all, although he claimed he couldn't remember where or how he learned to dance in the first place. Sir Ryan was even more ecstatic that Minsc had caught the dear Lady's eye, as she, according to him, had been in 'hot pursuit' of our wonderful, widowed Knight even before Lord Smythe had grown cold in his grave, having passed on only a few months prior.

Sir Conrad seemed totally restored. He had changed into a spare set of dress whites generously offered by Sir Ryan, and Anomen had healed his two cracked ribs, but not before Charona had made his acquaintance by ministering aid and comfort at the Church. It was she who had approached Anomen and asked him to do a minor healing, as the young man's pride and embarrassment seemed to prevent him from doing so. Anomen was only too happy to oblige her request. Maybe there was something good destined to come out of Boo's little escapade after all, I thought, as I saw the young Knight and my assistant with their heads together in engaging conversation. The carefully placed giggles that Charona interjected during his stories told me she had more than just his good health at heart.

Riona and Anomen were totally wrapped up in each other. A marriage proposal seems to do that, I thought, and was happy to see them so totally absorbed with each other. It wouldn't be very long and we would all be doing this again -- but for them. And after all they had been through together over the past four years, I could think of no couple more deserving of such happiness and the opportunity to begin life yet anew.

Father was the perfect host, and with Waukeen constantly by his side, and of course, Hamblen Davenport constantly by her side, everything went very smoothly. She did try desperately to 'fit in' as inconspicuously as a goddess can, and for the most part was very successful. Many of her faithful did come to pay homage, but only briefly and to tell her their hope and faith had been restored with her visitation. But, Father and she danced and the more-than-casual attachment between them was very, very evident to everyone, except maybe Hamblen Davenport. My Father and the Goddess, I thought, and could only sigh. It took a goddess to bring my father back to the world of being a real mortal man. I had to chuckle to myself at the irony of it.

The party lasted into the late evening hours. However, I didn't make it that far. Not long after dark I began to feel very tired and Hendak and I excused ourselves from our guests to retire to our apartment upstairs. The faint strains of the orchestra and the gentle laughter of dancing couples in the garden below could be heard through our open chamber windows. But it wasn't at all intrusive. It was, in fact, soothing and seemed to beckon the full moon spilling its light through our large east windows. The soft music and the dappled light completed the magic of the room already filled with the heady scent of gardenias wafting on the warm late-spring breeze.

"I want to undress my new wife." Hendak slightly raised one eyebrow and half-smiled as he closed the door to our bedchamber behind him and immediately shed his white tunic and dropped it to the floor. As he approached me, the soft moonlight playfully shadowed across the pale blond hair on his muscular chest. The sight of him still made me catch my breath. "I want to see if this woman I married today has changed since she left my bed this morning," he said in a low throaty voice.

He walked over to me and as he neared I could see the playful glint reflected faintly in his eyes. I stood perfectly still and smiled to myself as he walked behind me and began to deftly unbutton the tiny pearls down my back. "You were so beautiful today, my love," he whispered and bent to kiss the nape of my neck. His lips moved slowly down to the top of my shoulder as he slowly pulled away the bodice of the dress He paused, kissing me again.

"Don't see any change yet," he said softly and caressed my shoulders with his warm fluid hands. I could feel the heat from his chest radiate against my bare back as he stood only scant centimeters away. He reached around and pulling gently, loosened each of the form-fitting sleeves. With my arms freed, the dress fell away into a billowy white cloud at our feet. "As beautiful as she was the first day I fell in love with her," he sighed, sliding his arms around my bare middle. He cupped my breast with one hand as he pulled me back against him, hugging me close. His other hand came to rest lightly on my swollen belly and he caressed it lovingly.

"Thank the Gods," he leaned and whispered in my ear. "I sense no real changes yet." Then he picked up my hand and looked over my shoulder at the simple elegant ring. "The only difference I can see is the gold band on her finger." He paused briefly staring at the ring reflected in the soft light and pressed his face next to mine. "All else is as it was and as it should be," he sighed and I could feel his facial muscles pull against my cheek as he smiled to himself and again gently rested his hand on my stomach.

For a very long time, we stood there peacefully drenched in the moonlight, caught in the spell woven by the faint music and the sweet smell of flowers drifting into our bedchamber. "I want you, my wife." He nuzzled his face into my neck and held me even closer and tighter to him. "I want to make love to you this first night as your husband," he whispered, then without waiting for an answer, he scooped me up and carried me to the bed that was covered in the new silk sheets traditional of the wedding night.

We were scheduled to leave for the seashore for almost a full tenday the next afternoon. It would be relaxing after all the activity of the past several days. Mother Waukeen was going to stay with Father for a couple of days more then she would return to the Outlands. There were hints by both of them that some interim visits were secretly planned between the two planes before the birth of their Grandchildren. In the final days before the union ritual, the two had been left to themselves and I was suspicious that perhaps more than just a physical attraction and bonding had developed. I would query Father after our return from our trip.

Riona and Anomen were off to Trademeet at the request of the Mayor, a guest during the festivities of the prior evening. Some new problem possibly brewing in the region with which they could assist. They had taken Valygar and Minsc with them. And, of course, Boo. Riona had wanted to stop and visit her sister, Imoen, on the way back, so they could begin her wedding plans.

Father had invited Sir Ryan to continue his stay at the great house for a few more days, then perhaps after Waukeen's departure, they would go fishing up in the north country until we returned. Sir Ryan had happily accepted.

"Someone has to look after your Father while you are gone," he chuckled. "Who better than a Knight of the Order? Perhaps we will take Anomen with us to the North when he returns. Riona will want to spend time with her sister, so it is a perfect opportunity for a men's fishing trip." I couldn't help but be wary now when I heard 'men's' anything. A small chill ran down my spine.

"That would be good, Sir Ryan," I smiled at him knowing the thought of being able to spend time with his son pleased him to no end. They were really very much alike – not only physically in their looks and stature, but in their sensitivities as well. It was of professional interest to me to see such similarities between related people that were not necessarily the products of mutual environments. As it was, I had the feeling when our first joint session took place in another ten-day, my job would be made easier by their own efforts to get to know each other. I found myself looking forward to charting their progress.

I kissed Mother Waukeen goodbye and thanked her again as we boarded the carriage to take us down the coast.

"I will visit again, soon, my Daughter," she promised. "I have no intention of forsaking my wonderful, mortal family!" She laughed and smiled at Father. Yes, Father and I were going to have that talk the minute I returned.

"Dearest Daughter and Son," began Father, "do have a relaxing time. All too soon will it end when you return and the babies arrive!" And he laughed.

Our trip was relaxing and fun and all the things one wishes and hopes for. We ate, we lay in the sun, we danced, we made love, and we became totally absorbed in each other as we let the rest of the world pass us by. It was over far too soon and several days later, late afternoon, we found ourselves pulling up in front of the great house.

"Daughter! Son!" Father greeted us at the door. "You have returned! And you both look marvelous! The rest and relaxation has certainly agreed with you!" He swung the door wide for us. "Gernsey has been expecting you and we will have dinner shortly." He was ecstatic to see us and followed up with hugs and kisses for us both.

We entered the lounge and sat down. It felt good to be stationary. The carriage ride home seemed bumpier than when we departed and I was slightly road-weary. Father proceeded to regale us with various 'fish' stories from their trip of which he, Sir Ryan, and Anomen had returned only that morning. Very little was said about Waukeen and her departure and I knew Father well enough to know he was being deliberately quiet about her. I would have to wait until tomorrow when I had the opportunity to question him in private.

Dinner was long and leisurely and it felt good to be home. We were both tired, however, and retired to our apartment after I consumed a second portion of Gernsey's special mixed fruit pie. It had always been my favorite since I was a little girl and she never forgot.

It felt good to be back in our own bed again and I curled up next to Hendak and we both promptly fell asleep.

I was really anxious to go to my office the next morning. Hendak and I shared a carriage first to drop me off and then to ferry him to the Coronet. He was looking forward to getting back into the stream of things as well and although he had full confidence in Bernard, he still liked being on-site.

"Mistress!" Ki said as I entered my office. "You look wonderful!"

"Charona didn't give you any extra seeds, hmmm?" I mused.

"No, Mistress, but you still look wonderful. I missed you," he said. I didn't realize Kirani birds could 'miss' someone. I wondered if it was a learned response on his part, or if, indeed, he had felt that emptiness associated with the absence of someone or something. Regardless of whatever it was, I decided I wanted to believe he did miss me.

"Oh, Ki," I said and leaned over and kissed him lightly on top of his head. "I missed you, too." I did so love this big feathered almost-mortal-to-me.

"Mistress, when the babies come, will you stop coming to the office?" he asked rather timidly.

"For a time I will, Ki," I replied. It occurred to me he was concerned about what was going to happen to him. "But, Ki, I am going to bring you home with me and you are going to help me look after the twins. Would you like that?"

"Oh, yes, Mistress. I could sing to them as they sleep," he cheerfully replied. "And, of course, I can keep an ever watchful eye on the scruffy muffins." Something else I had never heard of a Kirani doing, fabricating their own idioms.

"You may be their back-up nanny, Ki! How would you feel about that?" I giggled. Then Ki did something I had never seen him do before. He laughed and danced from foot to foot on his perch. That deserved a rice cake, I thought.

I sat down at my desk and called Charona into my office.

"Anything I should know about?" I asked. "Like how things are progressing between you and our young Sir Conrad?"

"Nothing of consequence, Mistress," she blushed, changing the subject. "I cleaned the chair of the blood stains with a spell I made up, but I couldn't do much for the desk. I found a carpenter who fixed it temporarily. But you are going to need a new one."

"Thank you, Charona. I truly appreciate it."

"And I trust your trip was restful and, of course, fun?" she asked.

"It was lovely," I nodded and grinned. "When I have an opportunity, I will tell you all about it. But, do we not have a joint appointment for Sir Ryan and Anomen soon?"

She nodded. "They are expected momentarily, Mistress."

"Very good," I smiled. It felt good to be back to work, I thought as I pulled out my notes and readied for the session. I was truly looking forward to this one.

The session lasted until noon and was virtually effortless on my part. Their total acceptance of one another was uncanny. They had accomplished in two tendays what most fathers and sons take a lifetime to achieve, if at all. I was most impressed at how dedicated and bonded they were to each other. It had been almost instantaneous by practitioner's standards. But, they were both very consciously aware of the 'gift' they had been given, and over the fishing trip Father had wisely given them a wide berth to discuss this at length. They had both determined to make the absolute most of this beautiful and precious revelation and to never take it for granted. It was reaffirming to observe these two men so consciously constructing this wonderful relationship on the mutual faith and trust that each had in the other.

As they left, Charona reminded us of the session for Anomen two days later. I was going to stay at the house the 'morrow to catch up and to rest. Anomen also mentioned that Riona was going to be dropping by today later in the afternoon and I really looked forward to seeing her.

I was just finishing transcribing the morning session when Riona leaned her head around my door into my office.

"Got a minute?" she smiled.

"For you? Anytime!" I laughed and got up and met her at the doorway.

"Oh! Oh! The lovely Riona!" Ki couldn't contain himself and began singing a beautiful love ballad. My suspicions were confirmed! My silly Kirani bird had a crush on Riona! Riona looked at me rather puzzled at his strange behavior.

"I think Ki has a special feeling for you, Riona," I explained. "You may say hello to him, if you wish. I know he would more than appreciate it." And I winked where he couldn't see me. She walked over to him and he hushed immediately. He was almost shy in her approach.

"Ki, it is so lovely to see you again," she said and planted a kiss on top of his head. I thought I heard him literally swoon and hoped he was firmly planted on his perch. I didn't want to have to wrestle a 40-pound mass of fainted feathers back on his stand.

"And you as well, lovely Riona," he cooed and rubbed his head against her hand. Yes, it was more than obvious he was totally infatuated with the beautiful Riona.

"Now, what brings you here today," I asked and we sat in the two patient chairs facing each other. "Is there something with Anomen I should know?"

"Oh, no. All is very good with Anomen." She smiled. "Actually, better than ever. I came to ask you if you would be my Standing Woman and if Hendak would be Standing Man at our union ritual." She blushed ever so slightly. "I would ask you to be my maid, but my sister Imoen is going to be maid."

"Oh, Riona, I would be most honored!" I said. "Now when have you set the date?"

She proceeded to tell me it was scheduled for two months away, and as I sat and we figured it, the proposed date was a tenday before the babies were due. Plenty of time before the 'scruffy muffins' made their appearance.

"Well, if nothing else, Waukeen is precise. If she said three months when I had the dream, she meant three months. So, I don't see a problem with the twins interfering."

"Good, I was hoping you would say that," she said and hugged me.

We talked for a while longer and I told her about our trip and she told me about their trip to Trademeet and her visit with her sister. Then we laughed about the men going fishing. It was a wonderful, but too short, visit and she soon had to leave to attend to other errands.

Soon the day was done and Hendak stopped to pick me up for the ride home. We left Charona to feed Ki and lock up. Ki was still euphoric from Riona's visit and still singing the ballad he had initiated earlier.

As I had planned, I stayed home the next day. I was thankful I had picked that one to stay in as it rained all morning and I stayed huddled in the window seat watching the dark clouds roll behind Waukeen's Church spires. Father came home and we shared noon meal together. Since it was just the two of us, I saw the perfect opportunity to pounce on him with all of my questions about Waukeen. Not that it was any of my business, but I felt compelled to make it my business.

"Father," I said. "You must fill me in on your status with Waukeen." I licked the sweet raspberries from my fingers.

"And, Daughter, just what do you mean by the word 'status,' he replied as he leaned back in his chair and intently looked at me. Drusay served him his usual cup of café.

"Father, don't be coy with me," I said and giggled. "I want to know what's going on."

"Well," he began, "If you must know, we have planned several visitations – both here and other places as well." He leaned forward and picked up his spoon to stir his cup.

"Father!" I giggled more. "That's wonderful! At least, I think that's wonderful. It is, isn't it?" I tried to gauge the reaction on his face.

He nodded and smiled, still stirring and staring into the cup. "Yes, Daughter, it is quite nice, indeed, but I do not intend to share anything more than our schedule with you. At least, not right now." He chuckled to himself. My dear Father had suddenly rediscovered that lovers' secrets were the best kind.

"Oh, Father, I am so happy for you," and I reached over hugged him tightly, managing to slop his café over into the saucer. I was happy for him.

"Why, thank you, Daughter," he continued to chuckle to himself, his face slightly blushed. "But I'm still not divulging any information." He snorted and dabbed at the café in the small plate with his napkin.

The next day was clear and bright and at precisely at mid-morn Anomen made his appearance at my office door. He was in an extraordinary mood.

"Madam, you are looking radiant today," he grinned from ear to ear and bowed low..

"Anomen, you are too charming for your own good. Please come in and sit down," I giggled at him as he closed the door behind him and sauntered in to take his chair. He noticed the chairs and the desk had been replaced since Sir Ryan's and his appointment of two days ago.

"New furniture, Glory? I did promise you, but how were you –" he started but I interrupted him.

"Mother Waukeen has a thing for chairs," I said. "My desk and the chairs – a gift from her. Somehow she keeps tabs on those types of things. It's the image, I imagine. Can't have the daughter-in-law of the Mistress of Coin operating in broken or shabby surroundings." My beautiful new tapon desk and the chairs had been delivered yesterday in my absence and had been a complete surprise to me when I had arrived this morning. I walked around and sat down at my desk. It was time to get on with the business at hand.

"Anomen, I want you to talk about you today," I said. "And, we have all day."

To Be Continued...


	15. Chapter XII Part 1

**The Angstandthe Analyst**

From the Journals and Papers of Dr. MorningGlory Gaeston

(Rated PG-13: Adult themes, mild language, mild violence, brief nudity)

uChapter XII – Part I/u

"I want to start by asking you to think about how you feel about yourself now, Anomen… How you see yourself and your life in general…. as, say, compared to when you first entered my office a few months ago," I said to him and watched him intently as he reacted to my question.

"Ah," he took a deep breath, nodded, and leaned back. He was giving it long serious thought. "How I feel… well, it's like looking back on someone else. I don't believe that I am that same person that came here in the beginning. Oh, yes, I'm the same physical being, but not the same person inside." He lightly pursed his lips and gave me a somewhat perplexing look as he thought back.

"Then, let me ask you this," I interjected. "Can you remember that someone who first came here to see me?"

"Him?" The response of himself in the third person generated a momentary thin smile on his lips, but it wasn't a warm smile. "He was unhappy, dejected, angry, depressed…..." His words were deliberate as his voice trailed off and I sensed he felt pained as he consciously recalled his state of mind at that time. The bitter smile faded.

"I…I felt hopeless then. I felt that I was doomed to a terrible curse not of my own making and that fate had cruelly twisted my life from the very beginning. I…I felt worthless and that it was only a matter of time before I would be compelled to end it all and rid the world of my dark presence." With his abrupt confession, shame clouded his face and he hung his head.

Early on in our sessions, I surmised he had probably entertained thoughts of suicide and probably more than once, at different times. I wanted him to open up and tell me exactly so I would know how far away from the edge he really had come.

"Did you ever contemplate taking your own life?" I asked him gently.

An almost imperceivable shudder quickly crept through him at my question. He nodded slowly, then sighed. "There were many sleepless nights after I failed my Test that I lay staring at the stars and I asked myself, 'For what? What possible worth am I now?' And this black voice deep inside me would whisper to me and taunt me, 'For nothing, silly boy…. You're not worth the simple breath you take.'" He stopped for a moment. "It…it always sounded like Lord Cor's voice in my mind, ridiculing me, reminding me, and reinforcing my own self-loathing. I couldn't fight it anymore."

"Did you ever actually attempt to follow through?" I asked gently.

"No," he again lowered his head and moved it slowly side to side. "But once I was close….. very close."

"Can you tell me about it?" I continued my soft, gentle tone.

He released a long sigh and nodded before he slowly and deliberately began to elaborate. "We were traveling from Umar Hills to an area south of Trademeet. We ran into bandits along the way and after fighting our way through them decided to try to make our destination before it grew too late in the evening. As it was, we arrived after nightfall and everyone in our party was near exhaustion. We were all tired and filled with aches, bruises, and minor wounds from the skirmish that we hadn't bothered to heal, saving our ration of potions and spells in case we were confronted with something more serious along the way. I… I was bone tired, and I…I must confess that a very dark mood had overcome me as we traveled those last few miles in the shadowy twilight. As the shadows grew, so did the depth of my depression.

"The moon was not quite full and was just beginning to rise as we set up camp by a deep, but narrow, fast moving river. As Minsc and the others began to pitch the tents and build a fire to cook the evening meal, I stood alone in the darkness just off to the side on the river's high bank. Everyone else was tired and preoccupied with their own chores and duties, and in the relative darkness where I stood, no one took notice. I turned and stared down into the shadowy swirling waters, the moon just beginning to catch the tops of the currents with a silvery glow." He was immersed in the memory as his voice took on the eerie quality of his vivid remembrance.

"The noise from our camp was quietly replaced by the dark gurgling of the deep flow below me, beckoning to me, offering me noiseless rest and peace. It was intense and melodious, and I was entranced and drawn by its calling.

"I had removed my helmet, but not my armor, and I thought, 'Just one step… All I need to do is just take one small step and I could just slip over the side into the dark deep eddies far below. I knew the water would welcome me into its cold blackness and my heavy armor would carry me to the deep soft sandy bottom. There I could simply let the water fill my lungs. It was so inviting and it would be such a simple and perfect solution to my miserable existence. I pictured my anguished soul would be washed downstream and out to the sea, then the bottom feeders of the river would be left to feast upon my black heart and tainted flesh. The end of my life would not totally be a waste." He smiled bitterly and paused, staring off into the distance.

"They would search, but no one would ever find me, I thought as I stood there. They would finally just assume I had abandoned them and gone off into the forest, finally beset by my encroaching madness." The bitter smile was replaced by a singular bitter laugh.

"It seemed so perfect. No one would miss me before it would all be over. I would be gone and eternally embraced by the whispering dark below me. I was mesmerized.

"I thought ironically to myself, 'Fate has seen to issue the gift of deliverance to me this day. Who am I to refuse such providence?'" His stare shifted to me for a long moment then down at his folded hands.

"As I started to take that step, I felt someone gently squeeze my hand. I turned and there stood Riona." He was on the verge of tears but he continued. "She looked at me and smiled and said, 'I didn't know where you had gone. I missed you, and it is time to eat.'

"And, then she quickly kissed my cheek. I…I…don't know why she did that. She..she had never done anything like that before. I don't think she realized she had kissed me until after she did it. She seemed flustered and embarrassed at first. She scuffed her boot in the loose gravel kicking a bit of dirt and rock over the edge. I watched it as it careened down the path I had laid for myself. I looked at her.

"I resented her intruding upon my plan to end it all. I quickly pulled my hand from hers in retaliation and I said nothing. I just stood there sullenly staring at her in the bright moonlight. Her expression changed and she looked as though she was angry with me. I thought she had read the self-destruction that must surely have been written upon my face. Then… then she took her hands and forcibly pulled my face down to hers and she kissed me….really kissed me. On my mouth." He sighed and sat quietly for a moment. "She was angry at me and her anger launched itself into a searing, passionate battle of her mouth against mine. We both lost, we both won." He paused again. "It..it was a lover's kiss -- imy/i first real lover's kiss.

"I could taste the salt from the sweat of the day's journey on her smooth lips and suddenly I wanted more than that kiss. I wanted that which had haunted me for many weeks in my dreams, and more. I was so immediately flooded with the need and desire to have her, to possess her spirit, I would have laid her to the ground and taken her then and there, had I not still been wearing my accursed armor. I…I just wanted to feel I was part of something greater, someone….." He smiled to himself.

"She stopped as abruptly as she had started. She pulled back and glared at me. Then she grabbed my hand as though nothing had happened and began to pull me back to camp. 'I said it is time to eat, Delryn,' she said to me. She was still angry but I didn't know why." He looked directly at me.

"Do you think she was angry with you because she knew instinctively what you were about to do, or do you think she was angry because you didn't respond to her as she wanted you to do after she kissed your cheek?" I knew the latter had never occurred to him. He leaned his head to one side and wrinkled his forehead. I explained further, "Anomen, I am only suggesting that kiss might not have been as altruistic as you might have thought, although the overall effects were certainly more so, as you are sitting here in the present, alive and well."

"It was she that drew me back from the brink of my own destruction. It was that kiss and the hope of the future that kept me from fate's invitation to flee my demons." He leaned forward gripping the chair arms as I had seen him do so often when he was about to make an emphatic point.

"It was she who saved my life that night. She and that one kiss. I knew then that I could never willingly leave her. That night, I made up my mind that Fate would have to take me as I battled beside her for her cause, but the Gods would never have me by my own hand." He was decisive and clear.

"Anomen, it was you who saved your own life that night. She may have, from her own actions, forced you to choose between life and death, but it was your decision all along. Mind you, I am not diminishing her interaction and influence, but ultimately we all live, or die, by our own choices, be they good, bad, or indifferent. You were forced to decide, to choose your path, at that point in time. But let me repeat myself, it was iyour/i decision and iyou/i are the one who ultimately made it." He sat for a long time before he responded.

"I…I know you are right, Glory. I did decide that night. But she inflamed me. She instilled a glimmer of hope in me, a glimmer of.." He paused searching for the word.

"Worthiness?" I finished the sentence for him. He nodded slowly.

"Yes, a feeling of worthiness. A feeling of substance," he said thoughtfully.

"Did you ever tell her this – share with her what you just told me?" I asked.

He shook his head. "No. To confess such feelings would have betrayed the little I thought she found worthy in me. I would never be able to openly admit to her I had thoughts of ending my own life by my own hand, let alone I was so close to doing so." There was an edge of shame in his voice.

I thought back. Although he had never chronicled this event in his journal, he had made several references to 'the kiss'. This had to be it. But this kiss was more than just a kiss. It had created a life-altering event for this man.

"Anomen, when you first came to me, were you having those dark feelings again?" I asked.

"I…I was so confused. I had been thinking of asking Riona to be my wife, and those old feelings of being unworthy were resurfacing. It was one thing to be her lover and her confidante, and to battle by her side. But in my heart, it was quite another to be her husband. It meant thinking of children and family and I did not want to pass the tainted legacy of Lord Cor to an innocent as it had been passed to me. I…I was afraid she would find me lacking as a husband and would reject me if I asked her to share her heart and life with me."

Again he leaned forward. "It was like quicksand, Glory. The more I struggled to resolve this dilemma in my own mind, the deeper I was sinking into my own abyss of fears. I could feel the old beliefs again taking over my life as they had before. I was waking in the middle of the night having dreamt of Saerk and his daughter. I…I had almost resolved myself to finally letting that quicksand take me once and for all. That is when Michael, one of the head Priests at the Church of Helm insisted that I come to see you." He smiled briefly. "You know, Michael is the Priest who healed my shoulder and arm so many years ago. He was just barely out of the Academy himself at that time. But he has been a good friend to me since I was in the Academy, always helping me, and he was one of the few who has remained my good friend through all my travails since."

Ah, I thought. It appeared that Sir Ryan had not neglected his paternal duties after all. He had simply enlisted Michael, and perhaps other trusted friends within the Church, to look after his son as best he, and they, could. Apparently, that 'looking after' had extended beyond the Academy and up to as recently as a scant few weeks ago.

"Priest Michael sent you here?" I asked, rather matter-of-factly. I recalled no specific names in the original request I had received from the Church. Just a usual transfer with nothing distinguishing about it.

He nodded. "As my friend, I had confessed to him some of these inner conflicts and the self-loathing I was beginning to feel again. I…I didn't go into great detail, but he immediately voiced I needed help and it was the type of help the Church couldn't provide. Then he said he had no choice but to insist that I see you – this was for the good of the Church, that he could see my clerical abilities quickly deteriorating under the weight of my problems and your approach to solving them might be my only hope. I…I told him it was hopeless and a waste of the Church's good coin, and it would be better if I simply left the Church."

"How did he finally convince you?" I asked.

Anomen smiled. "He pulled an old copy of a dissertation I had written as part of my graduation from the Academy and read my own words to me. I recall it said, '….Helm is a strict God, but that does not imply there is no room for compassion and redemption for those led stray but are still true of heart…' He said if I truly believed that, I would come to see you. Then he said if I truly did inot/i believe it, I would come to see you anyway – if for no other reason to disprove and invalidate my original thesis."

"And now, Anomen? Have you proved, or disproved, your thesis?" I asked.

He nodded and grinned. "With the recent intervention and guidance of Helm, I can say with all clarity that my beliefs as defined in my journal of so many years ago have been proved. And by the Great Watcher, himself."

And some 'divine intervention' by one, very loving and very caring father, too, I thought as the picture was becoming very clear to me. Loving parents will go to extraordinary lengths to protect and, and if necessary, save their beloved offspring from whatever might threaten them. Even themselves.

"You would say it is a fair statement that the future appears much brighter than when I first met you?" I asked.

"Oh, yes, Glory," and he smiled. "For the first time in many years, I feel hopeful and encouraged by the future." He emphasized the words. "I have thankfully discovered my real Father, and I am about to marry the woman I love more than life itself. I look to the 'morrow and the possibilities fill me with hope. This is the happiest I have ever been in my life, Glory." He paused and a wisp of sadness briefly crossed his face. "I…I only wish Moira could be here to share it with me."

In all of his joy, he could not forget his love for, or his loss of, his sister.

"You still don't feel responsible, do you, Anomen? For her death, I mean."

"No, I don't feel responsible, but I do still miss her terribly. Especially when there is happy news and I want desperately to share it, and she isn't here to share it with me. I only hope that wherever she is, she knows how happy I am," he said wistfully.

"I would like to believe she knows, Anomen," I nodded. "I would like to believe she knows."

There was a long silence as though Anomen was debating whether to share something with me, or not. His fingertips tapped lightly on the arms of his chair.

"Anomen, is there something in particular you want to talk about?" I ventured, not sure if I had read him correctly. "Something on your mind you wish to discuss?" He hung his head briefly then deciding to tell me, he spoke.

"When we were in Trademeet, just after your ritual, I..I saw Lord Cor in the tavern at the Inn. He was with a small group of other merchants from the south and they were, by the sounds of it, celebrating some new trade agreement. I was alone as Riona had bid me go there and await her arrival after some chore she was doing on behalf of her sister." He paused.

"I entered the tavern and standing at the doorway waiting for my eyes to adjust to the dim light, I heard him before I even saw him. He was at his Lord Cor best -- besotted and loudly harassing the barmaid with his usual drunken, lascivious comments. I…I quietly took a table in the back, near the door. I did not want a confrontation with him, but I was not going to allow his presence to intimidate me into leaving.

"As the maid brought me my ale, his eyes followed her back to my table and then he recognized me. I paid the young lass and out of the side of my vision, I could see him raise himself from his chair as his eyes bore down on me. He slowly walked toward me trying desperately not to stagger as he traversed the room. He reached my table and I looked up from my mug into his shrunken wrinkled face and black beaded eyes. I said nothing and returned my attention to my ale as he clung to the other chair to keep his balance.

"'Hey, you…. boy,' he said, his words were slurred. I ignored him. He leaned over and lightly jabbed at my unarmored shoulder. 'I'm talking to you…, boy.' I turned and looked up into his face again.

"'You were referring to me, sir?' I said to him.

"'Yes, boy, don't you have an ounce of respect for your own father? Even if I did disown you, you worthless piece of maggot food' and he teetered as he stood there, his eyes reddened and glazed, his skin sickly yellowed because of the drink. Then he hurled a mouthful of spittle upon my boot."

Anomen paused. "I didn't know what I was going to do. I was hit with a rush of thoughts and feelings, the foremost being how much I hated this man. It would be so easy to draw my short dagger and drive it into him and carve out the rot of his soul, I thought. This was Trademeet and I was a hero here. I could say he provoked me, or challenged me, and after a brief official inquiry, that would be the end of it. Lord Cor would be dead and my Mother and my dear Moira could rest in peace knowing I had sent the devil to the abyss where he belonged." He inhaled deeply.

"Then I heard my real Father's voice. It was as clear as if Sir Ryan was sitting right there with me. It said to me, 'This man is not your father, he has never been, nor will he ever be. I am your Father, and as my Son, you will act with the honor of your natural birthright.'" He sighed again.

"I slowly stood up and looked down into his shriveled face which was only a short foot away. I had not realized what a small, ugly, pathetic little man he really was until that moment. Then I began to speak to him.

"'Sir,' I said, 'You have taken and destroyed everything that I have ever loved in my life -- up to now. ibBut it stops now/b/i. You are not my Father and thank the Gods, you never were. I have met my real Father, I know my real Father, and I love my real Father.' I didn't realize my voice was steadily rising as I spoke to him. 'I am the Son of Sir Ryan Trawl, and not you, Lord Cor, and for the first time in my life I am proud of my Father and he is proud of me.' I was visibly trembling as I forged on.

"'And, Lord Cor, were he not my Father, you can be assured your rotted entrails would be strewn from your throat to your groin, just as my beloved Mother threatened you so many years ago when you attempted to kill us both.'

"'Death, sir, would be wasted on you and I would be forced to dispose of a perfectly good dagger after the deed!' I…I was near yelling by the time I had finished and all the other patrons had turned to listen. But he stood speechless with no expression upon his face. The son-of-a-bitch was speechless. And me? I felt instantly liberated. This vile little worm would haunt me no more." He quieted but I knew he wasn't finished and a hint of a pressed smile began to flirt with his mouth.

"It was so quiet, you could have heard a pin drop. Then by Helm's own design, the door swung open and in walked Riona. Hearing the unearthly quiet and immediately sensing the tension, she quickly spotted us standing, facing each other. She walked over to the table and kissed me on my cheek. 'Riona,' I said, 'I believe you will remember Lord Cor from meeting him some time ago.' She told me later that I actually had a cold sadistic smile on my face and my voice was as chilling as she had never heard before. But I never took my eyes off of Lord Cor. Then I said, 'Lord Cor, I would like to again acquaint you with my now fiancé, Riona. We are to be joined in a few tendays.' Riona said not a word but looked at him. Lord Cor did not speak, either. And all the while, I never took my eyes from his eyes.

"After what seemed an eternity, the son-of-a-bitch dropped his eyes, and saying nothing, turned and staggered back to his table near the bar. Except for the scraping of his boot heels on the floor, the tavern was still soundless. He said not a word to his friends as he picked up his pack and weaved his way through the back door. And as I saw the door close behind him, I knew he would never, ever influence my life again. His hold on me was forever broken." He sighed a sigh of great relief.

What God did I have to thank for arranging that fortuitous meeting, I thought to myself. Anomen was able to accomplish in one confrontation what would have taken us months, possibly years, to facilitate in therapy. I was bordering on being ecstatic at this wonderful news.

"Anomen, I trust you realize you shed Lord Cor from you during that confrontation," I said.

"Oh, yes, Glory. I was able to stand up to him and finally face him. I…I don't know if I could have done so without knowing my real Father and that he loves me."

"Did you share this with your Father?" I asked.

"No, not yet. It distresses him so when I speak of Lord Cor. I fear it makes him feel some culpability for my Mother's bad choices when I was a very young boy. But, when the opportunity arises, I will tell him." He sat in deep thought for a long moment.

"You are right, Glory – what you said before. It is all about choices and the choices we make. We may not always like the selection of choices, but they are still our choices, aren't they?"

"Yes, Anomen, they are still our choices and sometimes we are gifted with good ones, and sometimes we are burdened with bad ones. But it is up to us to ultimately choose because we are the one who will have to live with the consequences of the selection."

He smiled and nodded. "I now see that," he said. "I now understand what you have been saying all along."

Well, our choices, a dash of Fate, and a little divine intervention along the way, I thought to myself.

We took a break for a noon meal that Charona graciously fetched for us. At one point Anomen looked at me and snickered, "You realize, Glory, I have painstakingly withheld any comment on your voracious appetite."

"Yes, and I appreciate it," I giggled. "I can't help it. I see food and I eat it. Doesn't matter whether I like whatever it is, or not. I cannot resist just shoving it into my mouth." I patted my bulging stomach. He nodded and continued snickering.

After noon meal, we continued until mid-afternoon covering more ground than I had ever hoped for. We were rapidly approaching delving into the guilt associated with the death of Surayah when I thought it best that we call it a day. He needed time to reflect on the work we had done today and beginning to deal with his guilt would require a fresh, new start.

He had just left my office and Charona and I were busily talking about some files to be transferred to various patients' new doctors when I heard a very familiar voice at the door.

"Madam Glory!" It was Sir Ryan, slightly tanned after the fishing trip. He was all smiles as he walked into my office. "I trust I am not intruding," he half apologized.

"Not at all, Sir Ryan. Please come in and sit down." Charona bid the Knight hello and quietly exited, closing the door behind her.

"Now, my good Sir," I began as he seated himself comfortably in the new chair. "What brings you to my office when we both know you don't have an appointment for another three days?"

He laughed, "Always so suspicious, dear Glory. So much like your Father in so many ways." He paused. "I simply came to see how your trip was and how you are feeling. You know, now that I am, well…, like an Uncle, I have to make sure all is well with you."

"All could not be better," I replied. "The babies are growing by leaps and bounds, and are beginning to execute various gymnasts' feats within the small confines of their current abode."

"That is wonderful news," he smiled and nodded.

I suddenly remembered the handwritten 'note-to-file' I had again run across earlier in the morning as I transferred the contents of my old desk into my new. It lay on top of the second drawer on the left. I opened it and removed the piece of parchment.

"Sir Ryan, I believe this is yours?" I half-smiled and handed it to him. He took it and glanced briefly at it. He was good at hiding the sense of recognition from his face.

"Oh, yes….," he said and looked at me for a word of explanation. I chuckled.

"Sir Ryan, the next time you decide to create an addition to one of your Squire's or one of your Knight's files, you may want to double check the dates. I believe that in your haste to, shall we say, 'salt' the file, your note's date misses Anomen's squire date by almost two years." I sat and waited for a response. "A slip of the quill?"

"Oh dear," he said, and I couldn't readily tell if he was slightly embarrassed because of the error, or because he had been found out. He looked up at me and smiled. "You have found me out, Glory. Yes, I 'salted' the original file with this note, as I was the one who originally filled the pouches with his records to you. But all that is written within it is true, as I know you are well aware. I did it in the hopes you would find it and it would provide you with the beginning of a course that would help my son."

"The same way you, shall we say, encouraged the Priest, Michael, to send Anomen here for treatment?" I asked.

"Uh…yes, Glory. I am responsible for that, as well. Michael had told me Anomen was so dangerously close to the edge, that he feared for his personal safety at his own hands. I… I couldn't let that happen." The concern was very evident on his face.

"So, you, as his Father, decided to manipulate the system however you could, and within reason, to help your Son," I said smiling. He nodded, still slightly embarrassed.

"Thank you, Sir Ryan. You are truly a wonderful and loving Father, and Anomen is a fortunate young man because of the sacrifices you have made and the potential risk to which you have exposed yourself. And I would be most proud if you would be my Uncle."

"I..I was concerned that you might be upset with me, for having deceived you," he smiled sheepishly.

"How could I ever be upset with my, er, 'Uncle,'" I replied. "I would have done the same, and possibly more. However, you might want to destroy that note lest someone else runs across it and puts two and two together." He nodded and grinned as he tucked it safely out of view into his tunic's inner pocket.

Sir Ryan stayed for tea and we chatted about the fishing trip and the upcoming union ritual for Anomen and Riona. There was even talk of the twins and a mention of Father and Waukeen. I was very proud of myself that I did not press Sir Ryan for any confidentiality Father might have shared with him. Soon after Sir Ryan's departure, Hendak arrived. It had grown late and I hadn't even noticed.

"Time to take Wife, Mother, and babies home," he said as he greeted me with a hug and a warm kiss. "The carriage awaits us, my love."

"Oh, my," I said. "Charona, would you be so kind to feed Ki before you lock up? I fear that with Sir Ryan here, I totally forgot to."

"Of course, Mistress," she said nodded.

"And, Charona, the young Knight? Sir Conrad, I think is his name?" Hendak's eyes were twinkling as he spoke. "You should bring him by for dinner one evening during this next tenday. Since you are still technically my charge, I want to make certain he is a proper suitor for you." Charona's face grew bright crimson.

"Yes..yes, Hen..Hendak," she blushed, "We would be happy to come to dinner."

I grabbed my notes and affectionately squeezed Charona's arm on our way out the door.

"How did you know?" I asked Hendak as we boarded the carriage.

"There are two things notably in short supply at the Coronet, my love. Good manners and secrets," he chuckled.

TO BE CONTINUED…..


	16. Chapter XII Part 3

**The Angst and the Analyst**

From the Journals and Papers of Dr. MorningGlory Gaeston

(Rated PG 13: Adult themes, mild language, mild violence, brief nudity)

Chapter XII – Part II

Over the next several tendays I worked a very abbreviated schedule and only with Anomen, Sir Ryan, and then the both of them in joint sessions. The progress was more than I could have ever hoped for.

Anomen shared his confrontation with Lord Cor two tendays later with Sir Ryan and brought the older man to tears when Anomen recounted hearing Sir Ryan's mental admonition calling him to an honorable path. It was a very moving session and I felt it sealed their bonding of Father and Son once and for all.

Anomen was also making progress in dealing with the guilt associated with the death of Saerk and his daughter, although he was still a long way from outright forgiving himself. I still had a few ideas on approach, but they were lengthy in nature and required constant vigilance on my part, which I was not prepared to give until well after the twins arrived. As long as he was making progress in the meanwhile, I could re-evaluate at a later time to determine if a more radical approach would be necessary.

My ever-expanding girth bespoke how quickly the twins were growing. The fast development, however, was not well suited for the human body. I felt a constant and intense straining shift on bones and muscles as time went on. It was actually quite painful at times and I became tired so easily, I longed for it to be over. Hendak was the most loving and patient husband any woman could ask for, constantly spoiling me and catering to my every whim, no matter how foolish. Father did his fair share of hovering, as well. And, to his credit, as he had promised, without being intrusive.

Father disappeared for a few days of every tenday, citing 'pressing business', but we never quite knew where this pressing business was, or with whom. He was never forthcoming with any details. My guess, and I speculated aloud to Hendak, that it was 'business' with Waukeen, and the Gods only knew where and on what plane. But the little trips just made him the happier, and I was glad to see him truly enjoying life.

Waukeen kept in touch with us during the intervening time. She did visit 'in person' on several occasions, but she also employed what I would call 'dream sharing', and there was an occasional visit from Seer Marybeth. I wondered if Mother Waukeen also 'visited' the youngsters in their dreams. I made a mental note to ask her.

And, as the days went on, Riona planned her union ritual, which, she had decided would take place in Trademeet. The city was almost becoming a second home for them as they were respected and revered in the city as heroes, and split their time almost equally between Athkatla and there. The townspeople would have taken it as an insult had Anomen and she chosen any other place for their ritual. In their eyes, it was their 'home'.

They had decided to be married in the new Church of Helm that had recently been constructed on the outskirts and Priest Michael had volunteered to make the journey from Athkatla to preside over the festivities. Riona did not particularly want a huge ceremony, but something small and elegant instead, and it was to this end that she and her sister Imoen planned a lovely affair. Sir Ryan was going to stand for Anomen, Imoen would stand as Maid for Riona, and Hendak and I would be Standing Man and Standing Woman, respectively. Father, who was, of course, invited, traveled in our carriage with us. Hendak and I figured we would have enough time to get there a day, or two, ahead of the ceremony, rest up and relax, do our part in the ritual and then enjoy the reception that was going to be held in the town square and attended by everyone in the city.

The whole city, it seemed had been cheering the couple on for a couple of years now, seeing en masse that to which the two of them had been so obviously blind in the beginning. Rumor had it that since the beginning of their romance, there had been an ongoing gambling pool at the Inn as to the date of the wedding. The jackpot was large and assuming the wedding came off without a hitch on the day it was scheduled, it would be claimed by a young couple of modest means who had married only a few years before. As the story went, the young man had begged the heros' help in rescuing his love and they were happy to comply. The lucky bride ultimately had been saved from skindancers by Riona and had been restored to her self by Anomen. It was a sweet love story, but whether it was true, or not, was another story. I would have to ask Riona.

After the huge reception given by the city, Hendak, Father, and I would spend our last evening in the Inn and leisurely return home the next day. That would give us almost five days leeway for the birth of the twins. I already knew that would be the most grueling five days of my life, patience not being one of my better virtues, and the ability to 'wait' nonexistent.

The trip to Trademeet was long and tiring. We had been beset with rain showers along the way, making for a few extra washed-out potholes as we traveled along the main road. The jarring of the carriage made my body ache even more severely than it already did. I already felt as though my body was most abused.

I was monstrously huge. My face was fat, my legs were fat, and to say my belly was 'fat,' was a gross understatement. My belly button was but a fond memory of weeks gone by. And, I know that in a prone position I resembled one of those beached marine mammals that sometimes were found up on the north shoreline. I did not know that the human body could grow so much without something either breaking apart or just simply exploding.

I couldn't even put on my shoes by myself and had given up on stockings several weeks ago. And no one really allowed me walk by myself for fear I would teeter over and not be able to right myself. I had become a very large, waddling baby incubator--make that, 'babies' incubator. A very large, miserable incubator.

When we arrived in Trademeet, it had cleared and it was late afternoon. Seer Marybeth as well as Anomen, Riona, and Sir Ryan greeted us at the Inn. She had come to insure that our accommodations were comfortable and then graciously excused herself to other tasks. We were all treated to a special dinner at the Mayor's house and then it was back to the Inn for the 'incubator' to sleep as best I could. I had never been so tired in my life but finding a position that was comfortable enough to be sleep inducing was a near impossibility. As I lay in bed, I realized I was now down to counting hours, not days, until the babies delivered. Well, counting hours as well as I could, all things considered.

The next day dawned warm and bright and Seer Marybeth had a lovely morning meal delivered to both Father and us. I noticed Father had more berries than did we, and he had a single perfect red rose on his cart, most assuredly from Seer Marybeth's mistress. She had also been instructed to have the same meal delivered to Riona and Anomen at the apartment they maintained here in the city. Just Mother Waukeen's way of saying 'good morning,' according to the Seer.

We took a brief stroll around the square, admiring the statues ringing the center fountain. Riona, Anomen, -- all them were bigger than life. It was a beautiful tribute from a grateful town. There was even a small replica of Boo placed carefully on Minsc's shoulder. It made me giggle to see the little hamster immortalized along side his sweet master. Tomorrow would be the ceremony and already the townsfolk were busily transforming the area for the festivities. Trademeet was known for throwing great parties, so it was something to truly look forward to. The Druids' Grove to the north had also sent cartloads of exotic flowers for the occasion. The smell was so sweet and exotic; it was cloying in the humid summer air.

We lazed the rest of the day and I was actually blessed with a small burst of energy as we converged for dinner after the ritual rehearsal. It was wonderful to see my friends so happy. It was wonderful to see my family so happy. The cook at the Inn had made our meal special and it was so delicious, I really 'over-indulged'. Even Hendak looked at me with raised eyebrows when I asked to have my plate refilled for the third time.

With all the excitement and activity and general discomfort, sleep did not come easily that evening. For a long while, I lay there regretting my momentary lapse of reason and ensuing gluttony as I listened to my wonderful husband softly snore. Finally I found a comfortable spot on my side and drifted off to sleep.

The next morning was even warmer and more humid than the day before, with the air fragrant but still. The ceremony was scheduled for mid-afternoon and it gave us the morning to ready ourselves. The women converged on the Church and a small cleric's room, which the resident Priest had thoughtfully allowed us to use to dress and make ready. Father and Hendak had brought us food at noontime, although I was strangely not hungry.

"Are you alright, my love?" Hendak was a trifle concerned at my lack of appetite, a blatant anomaly compared to the past almost three months.

"Just all the excitement, I'm sure, my love," and I put his mind at ease. "Plus, it is just a little too warm to eat."

"She is fine, Hendak," Father patted him lovingly on the back to reassure him. "What say you, we will go to the Inn and share a glass of wine, Hendak, and leave our lovely ladies to ready themselves for the ritual." If someone would have told me three months ago that my Father would be comforting Hendak and inviting him for a glass of wine, I would have laughed in their face. So much had changed in such a brief span of time.

The time passed quickly and it was not long and all was readied. Riona looked beautiful in her white silk gown with her dark red hair gently flowing on her bare shoulders. Her hairpiece was a crown of intricately woven fresh white rosebuds and pearls with the sheer silk veil cascading back over her shoulders. Nothing occluded her beautiful face.

"When I pledge my heart to Anomen," she had explained, "I want nothing between his eyes and my eyes."

The time grew at hand and the Church's acolyte led us to the entryway where we would enter the back of the Church. A peek inside the door showed every seat of every pew filled with some actually standing in the back. Traditional harps and horns lined the mezzanine around the Church's main sanctuary. They toned the traditional music and our procession began.

As was tradition, I would waddle down the aisle first, then Imoen would follow. Riona had asked Father if he would escort her, and he had most humbly and graciously accepted. Imoen, being her only 'blood' relative, would offer her to the union. Sir Ryan would do the same for Anomen.

This was a big step for Sir Ryan, but he and Anomen had talked it over at great length – Anomen not wanting his Father to jeopardize his standing with the Order, and Sir Ryan wanting to publicly recognize his Son to the world. It had been a poignant discussion during a joint session in my office with Anomen finally acquiescing to his Father's greater need.

I was also thankful that Priest Michael was not going to recognize Riona as being a daughter of Bhaal. The taint was gone and no longer was she Bhaalspawn. She was simply the daughter of 'Gorion, of Candlekeep.' It would be as it should be.

The ceremony was beautiful. Unlike our ritual, Hendak and I were allowed to take our seats just before the vows. It was lovely to sit and actually watch it. I did say a small prayer that Minsc had Boo safely in hand. All too soon the couple had made their vows to one another, the rings had been blessed and exchanged, and the crowd was intoning the final, "The Gods so grant."

Priest Michael called above the deafening jubilation, "Go forth into Toril and beyond, and be known as one!"

Euphoria swept the place as the party began the return to the back of the Church. Hendak met me at the altar and we followed Imoen and Sir Ryan who in turn had followed Riona and Anomen. As was tradition, the guests would wait until we had left the building.

Hendak and I had covered almost three-quarters of the distance when, 'Oh no,' I thought. 'It can't be!' I looked at Hendak and he immediately knew by the look on my face something was wrong.

"My love," he whispered as we continued to walk in time to the music. "What is wrong? You look suddenly pale and that look on your face tells me something is amiss."

"Hendak, my water just broke," I replied in quiet shock. "Keep walking." I could feel the warm liquid running uncontrollably down my legs. Not a gushing torrent, but enough to leave a very conspicuous puddled trail directly behind me in the Church's aisle.

"Your water just broke?" He was puzzled.

"It's one of the first things to happen before the birthing begins," I whispered as we continued to walk.

"Does it happen so far ahead of the birthing?" He was now confused.

"No, Hendak. It usually happens around the onset of labor. Hendak, I think I am—" I didn't have an opportunity to finish my sentence before the first contraction hit me. I stopped and bent slightly. I looked at him. "—in labor. These twins are going to be born here and soon."

"By the Gods," he mumbled and we stood transfixed until the pain subsided and I could easily walk again. "By the Gods," he said more loudly. "By the Gods, the twins are on their way!" He shouted.

We were finally out of the Church and Father came running over.

"Did I hear you correctly?" he asked. "Did you say the twins are on their way?"

"MorningGlory is in labor, Tabor. We will soon have babies!" Hendak said joyfully laughing and smiling.

"But it's not suppose to happen until five days, Hendak. Is everything alright?" Tabor was visibly very concerned at this unexpected news.

"I am sure everything is fine, Tabor," Hendak tried to reassure him. "But we must find Seer Marybeth and we must get Glory back to the Inn and make her comfortable." They were talking about me like I wasn't there.

"I will go find Seer Marybeth," said Tabor. "She will know what to do." And he frantically searched the crowd of guests for the Seer of the Church of Waukeen.

Well-wishers had flooded from the Church and had clustered around the happy couple on the huge front lawn and the ceremonial tossing of the sweet honey flowers had commenced. The familiar smell of Mother Waukeen filled the air. We waited to the side for Tabor to return. Riona gave me a glance across the crowd just as the next pain began to well in my stomach. She quickly excused herself and came over beside us.

"Babies?" she asked. I couldn't speak. I nodded and squeezed Hendak's hands tightly.

"Riona, our twins are going to be born in Trademeet, my Mother's city," Hendak was most proud. "Tabor has gone to get Seer Marybeth. She will know what to do until Mother can arrive."

"Mother Waukeen will be here?" I said through the last of the pain.

"Of course she will, my love. I don't think she will miss this," and he continued to hold my hands as I straightened up.

"We have to do something," Riona said to Hendak.

"We are, Riona. Go be with your husband. This is your day and his day. Go and enjoy it," and he waved her off to rejoin Anomen.

Sir Ryan came over to us, all smiles. "I can see by the look on your face that our twins are getting ready to enter the world of Toril," he said.

"Yes, Sir Ryan. Not exactly how we had planned it, but it looks like they are getting ready to make their entrance," I said.

"Very good, Glory," he said. "Now, where is your Father?"

"He has gone to fetch Seer Marybeth," Hendak replied.

"Well, let's get you a carriage and get you at least back to the Inn so we can make you comfortable," he suggested and motioned Hendak to take one arm and he firmly slipped his own through my other one and we began to walk to our carriage. As we passed Anomen, Sir Ryan gave him a sideways smile and said, "Seems like our little mother here is going to be giving birth a bit sooner than planned."

The two helped me up into the open carriage and Hendak climbed in beside me.

Father suddenly appeared from the crowd with Seer Marybeth in tow. He was breathless.

"I..I found her!" He inelegantly boosted her up into the carriage and gingerly climbed in after her.

"Sir Gaeston!" she protested mildly at being manually pushed up on board, but he ignored her.

"Driver, to the Inn and make it quick!" he said. And we left the wedding party behind us. It was only a few minutes before we pulled up in front of the inn and made our way to our suite of rooms.

Seer Marybeth helped me get out of my dress and my sopping under things. The day had turned hot and I was drenched in perspiration. As I sat on the side of the bed, I could feel another contraction coming on and I instinctively rubbed my stomach.

"Let's get you into bed," she said and slipped a very ordinary sleeping gown over my head and guided my arms through the short sleeves. She pulled it down around me and helped me swing my feet up on the bed. It felt good to lie down. My back was incredibly inflamed and being in a prone position seemed to relieve some of the pressure. "I will get Hendak and your Father," she smiled and returned a moment later.

"I'm also a cleric and I can lessen the pain a little," she said, "but I prefer to wait for Waukeen. She will be here within the hour." She ordered Hendak to get a bowl of fresh water and several fresh face towels. "To keep her comfortable in this heat," she explained. Father stood helplessly nearby his face deep with concern. I knew he was remembering my Mother during her last moments of life as she was giving me my first moments of life. I reached my hand out to him and he quickly came to my side and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Father," I said and smiled up at him as he grasped my hand tightly. "Not to worry, Father. In a very short time, you will not only still have your Daughter, but you will have two new Grandchildren whom you can spoil to your heart's content."

"Darling Daughter, just know I love you and know I will be praying to whatever God will listen to my hardened heart for your and the children's safe delivery," he said, his voice quivering and he kissed my hand.

Seer Marybeth interrupted us. "Lord Gaeston, at the risk of offending you, I would ask you to now step into the adjacent room and make yourself comfortable. Hendak is going to need your support before this is concluded and you need to be nearby, but not in the way. Mistress Waukeen will be here shortly and you may speak with her then. In the meanwhile, I can assure you that all is well with Glory. She is fine and the babies are fine. It is only a matter of time before they will be here. You need not worry yourself," she said and smiled at him.

"It's fine, Father... Seer Marybeth is right," I again smiled at him, trying to reassure him. He leaned and kissed my forehead then as she had instructed, left the room to the adjacent parlor.

Hendak returned with the water and the face cloths.

"Soothe her face, Hendak," the Seer directed. "Talk to her, comfort her as you can. Your Mother will be arriving shortly. She and I will deliver your children."

I felt another pain coming on. I squeezed Hendak's strong hand with all my might and gritted my teeth. He held my hand and gently wiped my face with the cool wet towel. True to her word, or rather, Seer Marybeth's word, Mother Waukeen walked in the door less than an hour later. She came and sat on the edge of the bed.

"How are you, Daughter?" she smiled sweetly and leaned over to push a wisp of damp hair from my face. I smiled up at her and nodded.

"I..I'm okay, but I am glad you are here," I said. She squeezed my hand.

"I don't envy the pain you are going through as I remember my own very vividly when Hendak was born, but we can take the edge off for you," she smiled. She turned and nodded to the Seer. She leaned over and laid her hands on my stomach and a soothing and somewhat numbing feeling ran through my belly and my lower extremities. It was instant relief.

"I am going to talk to your Father and to Hendak," she said. "Marybeth will be here with you, however, until I return. Maybe we can speed up the process a bit after I speak with them."

"That would be wonderful, Mother Waukeen," I sighed.

"Marybeth, will you keep Glory company for a few minutes?" Waukeen smiled sweetly at her Seer and excused herself to go talk to the men. I could hear their voices through the open door between the two rooms.

I heard Father's concerned voice. "Why are they early, Waukeen? Is there a problem we should know about?"

"She's perfectly fine," I heard Waukeen say to them. "It will be a few hours, but Marybeth and I will try to speed things along. As for them being early, I imagine the trip brought on their early arrival." I heard sighs of relief as another contraction gripped me. Seer Marybeth sat on the side of the bed.

"Breathe, Glory. Breathe." And she took the wet cloth and gently dabbed my face.

The time went slowly it seemed. The pains were increasing in intensity and frequency, and my hair was soaked with perspiration. My mouth was dry and the late afternoon summer heat was beginning to permeate the room. I would have given almost anything for just a drink of cold mountain spring water.

"I think we can help you more now, my Daughter," said Waukeen. "It will begin to go more quickly now, but it will be a little more intense for you. Is that amenable to you?"

"Yes," I said. I would have agreed to anything to get this over and done.

"Very well," she said and smiled down at me. She went to the door and motioned to Hendak.

"Go and have the Innkeeper deliver a tub of fresh hot water. Then I want you to come in and be with your wife," she instructed him.

"Yes, Mother," he replied and was immediately out the door and downstairs to the Innkeeper. She returned to me.

"Hendak is going to get what we will need and then he is going to be with us as the children are born. He will entertain you and keep you occupied," and she laughed lightly. "Much as his own father did with me."

"Thank you, Mother Waukeen," I whispered and was beset by another gripping pain slowly grasping the width of my belly.

Hendak returned with the Innkeeper and the water. He took up his place by me and resumed holding my hand. He took the wet cloth and continued to cool my face.

Waukeen interrupted us. "Daughter, you will find yourself lightly dozing between this world and a world of shadow. Do not be alarmed. It is only to save you the pain that I remember so well. When you re-awaken in this plane, you will be the Mother of two beautiful children. Hendak will accompany you to keep you occupied so that you will not be afraid."

With that, she waved her hand and all pain suddenly ceased. It was blissful relief but I looked around and the world had ceased, as I knew it. It was a shadowy place with no sun, no trees, no really solid anything. I couldn't even see what my feet stood upon.

"I'm here, love," I heard Hendak say. I turned toward the direction of the voice and saw him coming toward me.

"Where..where are we, Hendak?" I asked him.

"It's just a place that Mother 'borrowed' so you wouldn't have to endure the same pain as did she. It was only my Father with her when I was born and there was nothing that could be done to allay her pain of childbirth. She has never forgotten it."

"Do you think we will be here long?" I asked.

"No, the time is different here," he began to explain. "It does not run the same way as time we know on Toril."

I nodded. "So this is like a dream world." He nodded. "And we just wait until your Mother returns us." He nodded again and I prayed it would not be too long. I didn't like this unnatural world but it was pain-free and Hendak was with me. I would just be patient until recalled. Hendak slid his arms around me and drew me close to him.

"It will be fine, my love," he whispered and began to sing a song I had never heard before in a language with which I was not familiar.

I began to awaken in the solid world of Toril and leaving the world of shadow behind. I could faintly hear the tiny cries of babies. In my heady fog I knew they were my babies. I fought to regain my consciousness more quickly. Then I could vaguely hear Hendak's voice.

"My love," he said. "My love, can you hear me? We have two beautiful children! They have arrived, Glory. They are here with us!"

I slowly opened my eyes and tried to focus my blurry vision. Hendak stood above me with a small bundle in his arms. Father stood next to him with a duplicate bundle in his arms.

"Hendak?" My voice was hoarse and my throat was terribly parched. I didn't know if I could even move. I was mostly numb and any part of me I could feel was totally exhausted and still racked with pain. "Can you hear me, Hendak?" I whispered still focusing my vision.

"Yes, my love, I can hear you. Did you hear me?" he smiled again.

I barely nodded. "Yes," I replied weakly. "May I see them?"

"Of course, my love," and he leaned down to show me the beautiful new baby sleeping peacefully. I moved my arm so I could take the little one next to me.

"Father?" I said.

"Yes, my darling Daughter." He was glowing and he gently put the other little bundle on my other side. "They are beautiful, Glory," he said and gently brushed my cheek.

I looked at them and unbidden tears came into my eyes. One had a small shock of dark hair on top of his or her head and the other one had a similar sprinkling of near white blond hair. Being a boy and a girl, they weren't identical twins, although I had expected them to look alike. They did in some ways, but not in others.

"Oh," laughed Hendak seeing the question in my eyes. "Our little boy is the one with the dark hair, and our little girl is the one with the blond hair." I nodded.

"I…I think I will go to sleep now," I said. I couldn't stay awake any longer, and I passed into my own dream sleep of contentment as I lay with each arm wrapped securely about my children.

I must have slept all though the night and to the next morning. I awoke to the sound of tiny crying. Seer Marybeth and Mother Waukeen sat in nearby rocking chairs and were feeding the babies from small bottles with nipples.

I was very sore. Not just in the obvious places, but all over. It was difficult to move. Mother Waukeen heard me stir.

"You are awake, Daughter! I was just indulging my Grandmotherly instinct and feeding one of the little ones. Seer Marybeth was fortunate to secure great quantities of fresh mother's milk for them." She looked over at me. "And, although I am not a physician, I think you could probably use something to eat and maybe some more rest." She arose from her chair with baby in arm and walked to the adjacent room.

"Hendak, I think your wife is awake and would like to see you," she smiled and he appeared at the door.

He walked over and sat down by me. "Would you like something to eat, my love?" he asked. I nodded. My throat was so dry, my voice wouldn't work. "I'll get you some water first." He just seemed to know.

I had slept until almost noon that day. And as Waukeen had explained to me, even though 'I' was in a shadowy world unlike this solid one, my body had still been here and had been subjected to all the rigors of birthing two children almost simultaneously. Seer Marybeth did a minor healing spell and I could feel the results very quickly. But I would need some time to regain the real energy I had expended in the process.

The children were such good children. They slept in their tiny cribs, waking only to eat and everyone took turns feeding them with the little bottles. By late afternoon I felt much better, but I was still unable to get out of bed unassisted. Hendak came in and sat beside me.

"My love. We need to name our Son and our Daughter," he said.

"I thought of Helena for our Daughter, after my Grandmother, and Haandor after your Father," I said, my voice still raspy. He smiled and nodded.

"Those are good names, my love. I approve wholeheartedly." And with that, our children were named.

Riona, Anomen, and Sir Ryan stopped by after the evening meal to visit and see the children. Riona lovingly cradled one in her arms and then the other.

"I see that look in your eye, Wife," said Anomen. "Do not forget we were only married yesterday."

"But Anomen, you are going to make such a wonderful Father, and Sir Ryan will make such a wonderful Grandfather…" and she giggled.

They had delayed their plans for a trip so they could return with us. It was Anomen who was so adamant. "Much better if we have two or three carriages rather than you three, er, five," he corrected himself "going back by yourselves. We will accompany you as soon as you are able to travel, Glory."

The next day was far better. I was able to walk to the water closet unassisted and I was able to eat. I could also assist the new nurse with the feedings and changings. Seer Marybeth was given a special holiday by Mother Waukeen for her exemplary service beyond the call of a Seer's duty, and the new nurse was an experienced nanny Waukeen had already selected from a group of faithful followers.

Hendak hardly left my side and even assisted in the feeding although he wasn't particularly enthused with the changing part. Father was in and out. Seemed he just needed reassurance the children were finally here and I was safe and properly mending. He and Waukeen were able to steal a little time to themselves later that afternoon.

Three days later, I was deemed fit for travel, and we loaded up everyone and our little caravan set out for home. Mother Waukeen promised to 'drop in' within the next few days after our return but in the meanwhile, she had some pressing business in the Outlands that required her attention.

Our little caravan took the trip slowly and I was surprised I wasn't totally exhausted by the time we pulled up in front of the great house.

Drusay and Gernsey both met us at the door and greeted us all with hugs and 'ohs' and 'ahs' over the babies. They also greeted the new nurse Margarite and welcomed her to the family. Gernsey had prepared a veritable feast for our homecoming and although all were tired, it felt good to be home.

"Ah, it is good to be in our own bed, my love," Hendak sighed as he pulled me close to him. The babies were in the nursery fast asleep being ably monitored by Margarite in her adjacent room. I had also brought Ki home with me just before we had left for Trademeet and placed his perch in the big bay window in the nursery. I knew during his waking hours he would keep vigilant watch over our little ones.

I lay there thinking. A new part of my life. I was now a wife and a mother. I wondered what the Gods would author in this chapter. I heard the faint snoring of my adored husband and father of my children. It was easy to drift off to sleep.

**Epilogue**

It was a bare six months later and I was in the nursery feeding Ki his morning seeds and grains. Margarite had bundled the children against the chilly winter wind to take them into the garden for a few minutes of fresh air.

"Mistress," said Ki.

"Yes, Ki?" I rubbed his head.

"Mistress, I think there is something of which I must impart to you." His voice almost sounded concern.

"And what is that, Ki?" I asked as I filled his dish.

"Mistress, when I awoke this morning, young Haandor was playing with a small ball in his crib."

"Yes, Ki. And what is so unusual about that? He plays with all of his toys."

"Yes, Mistress, but the ball was spinning and floating above his crib and over to his sister's crib, physically unassisted."

"Are you sure, Ki?" I asked absolutely dumbfounded.

"Oh yes, Mistress. It was as though they were playing a game of 'catch' back and forth without either ever touching the ball."

I gazed out the window at the clouds gathering behind the spires of Waukeen's Church.

What now, I thought. I had learned to accept the abnormal as normal in my life over the past year. What new wrinkle was I going to face now?

"Thank you, Ki for telling me. If you note any other strange occurrence, I trust you will let me know immediately."

"Oh, yes, Mistress," he said and proceeded to dive into his dish of morsels.

I heard footsteps enter the room. It was Hendak.

"Ah, my love," and he walked up behind me and encircled me with a warm embrace. "And how are we this morning? And how are our beautiful children this morning?"

"They are momentarily in the garden with Margarite," I replied pensively then turned to him.

"Hendak, did you know we have magical children?"

He smiled knowingly at me and said nothing.

THE END


End file.
